Post-Thanksgiving Day

What a lovely Thanksgiving day we had here.  We are so fortunate to have a wonderful family.  I missed my parents, who weren't able to come for multiple reasons, one specifically because my mother had ingrown toenail surgery, which is definitely not a fun recovery from my recollection of a similar surgery I had years ago.  

My mother sent an Edible Arrangement for us to enjoy—and boy, did we enjoy it; there was barely any left.  Even the Guinea pigs got in on the action, eating the kale that was used as a decorative element. 

I love time spent with family, having Eric, Kelly, Nicole (now a college graduate, which boggles my mind), Bob, Brian, Dick, and Nancy—oh, and Daisy, the dog.   Such a good time. 

We took everyone to see the progress on the house, which is now close to being finished framing.   There was a crew working on Thanksgiving day.  They had some delicious lunch being prepared on-site.   I was hungry from the smell of their food and ready to dig into Thanksgiving dinner hours before it was ready after the smells coming from their lunch. 

The Tiny Girl Unexpected Cat Adventure:  My daughter and I were walking the neighbor's dog when we saw a cat walking casually towards us at the house next door to Charlotte, the dog.   I put Charlotte away, and we met the father and son, both named Mohammad.  The cats were some of the friendliest I've ever seen, with three of them walking straight up to my daughter and stropping against her legs as she crouched down to pet them.   After she went home, I spoke to the father, thanking him for the opportunity to pet their cats.   We can see their house from ours out the back.   I told him that my daughter was cat crazy, listening to cat fiction books and wanting to have one as a pet terribly badly, but due to my son's allergy to them (as well as my lesser allergy), we would never have one.  I told him that in that interaction alone, my daughter was able to pet cats more than she ever had in her life.   She was in heaven.   I said if he ever needed help taking care of them, to please keep us in mind.   He said they were kept inside due to some complaints from neighbors, but if they were home, they had them out, and my daughter was welcome to come over any time and pet them, something I am sure my daughter will be doing going forward.  

My Son The Teenager (almost):  My son is about to be officially a teenager.   He has an older phone we were using for timelapse video recording that he uses from time to time.  He mentioned something was on the phone yesterday and when I looked, I noticed it was a clone of my husband's phone number, ringing whenever he got a call as well as being logged into all of our social media accounts with administrator access and full control of my entire photo library with over ten years of photos and videos.  We are going to wipe the phone and get it prepared for his birthday coming up in just a few short weeks.  I can't believe we're giving him a phone, but we'll have it appropriately controlled so we can monitor things.  Thirteen is still quite young while at the same time being older than I can believe he is.  

Your Hands Are Like Mimi's

We went to the state fair today.  We love to go for the food, and the children love to go for the rides.  My daughter the most.  My son can do a ride or two and then he's done.   I think it's all too cool for him.  Being cool is really important to him right now.  

As we were walking in, I was holding hands with my daughter and she said, "mom, you have Mimi's hands."   Such an interesting observation, and something most people wouldn't be able to notice, especially from touch alone.   

Acne Control (Among Other Things)

Well I didn't expect this to be happening so early, but based on recommendations from my friends who are both physicians and obstetricians, my daughter started taking birth control today.   I realize it is a controversial stance, but the reasons for it have nothing to do with preventing pregnancy but all the other benefits that will go along with it such as less cramping, lighter and shorter monthly cycles or eliminating some months altogether and having a cycle four times a year instead.  Plus acne reduction, to name a few. 

My daughter very much wanted to reduce her acne—and she was having quite a lot of it.  After I told her about the possibility, she pestered me to please get her an appointment.   She is now on a three-month trial, after which we will access how it's going, both from her perspective and her doctor's (who happens to be my best friend's husband).     

As for pregnancy, my daughter still doesn't fully understand the mechanics necessary to get pregnant, and I'm dodging that question until she's a little older, especially since physical contact with boys is still firmly in the "eww" stage. 

What's Been On My Mind

Every day I think about something I want to write here.   But every day ends without anything written.   I'm caught in the middle of two things: wanting to write something that's happened or is going to happen in our lives, and wanting to just go to sleep.   Going to sleep has been winning. 

If I could just get to the computer and write something before the end of the night I think it would be easier.  For instance, it's 3:34PM here now.  I just returned from picking my son up at school.  I'm going to spend a few minutes writing something and then, ta da, I can go to sleep *and* have a blog post written.   

The trouble is getting here and doing the writing.  Let me do a quick update on things in general:

The Middle School Son Update: son still loves video games and screens above anything else.  He is doing well in public school we think.  He has good grades except for one class in which he has a 50, which is well into failing.   He had COVID at the beginning of the year.  It may possibly be assignments he never did from that time, but he's not overly worried in finding out and correcting it.   Otherwise he has A's and one B.   He's happy, he comes home from school and sits down to do his homework immediately.  We don't have to prompt him.  In fact, it's Friday and he is sitting at the table reading so that he completes his page reading for today before launching into what will likely be a video game heavy three-day weekend here. 

The Middle School Daughter Update:  My daughter has been at Space Camp in Huntsville, Alabama all week.  She didn't want to go right before but once she was there she apparently had an amazing time.  We had her bring her phone this time so she could call us, which she did.  She sounded like she was a leader of the girls around her, that she was taking a role of the experienced camper.  Whatever it was that changed there, she had a very good time.  She called me at midnight last night after their graduation celebration and was in high spirits.  I'm really happy she enjoyed the week.  I hear she's already excited about going next year.

That House We're Building:  Things have finally started.  It took a long, long time for permits to be issued after the house was designed which also took a long time.  The amount of time we've spent picking things out for the house has been far more time than I ever thought we would spend on it.  Now that things are started, it feels like it's moving fast.  Faster than I thought it would. 

Four Legged Family:  Cheerio has an infection in his ear.  We think.  After some X-Rays to look into it because he's tilting his head to the side, he has antibiotics and an NSAID.   Two weeks of feeding him medication he hates is going to be fun, but he needs it.  It may not fix the issue.   I really hope it does.   If it doesn't it could be more complicated to address. 

Demolished

We have the Land Disturbance Permit, the Building Permit and the Demolition Permit.   They're moving working on the land right now, clearing a path to the house while preserving as many trees as possible (my mission, which has been challenging as I am running into resistance from every direction).   Trees are being saved, although some may have to come down when we see what the overall placement of things will end up being. 

The road has moved quite a bit, initially away from the highest point in the lot, which would have been better from a drainage perspective but would have been nearly in the back yards of the closest neighbors.  I wouldn't want someone's driveway in my back yard and we did want to have a more private feel, so we shifted the driveway.   It became less straight because there were some very old trees we could save if we moved it left a bit here, right a bit there, etc.  

That's turned out to be a good decision because it looks just beautiful as you look at the path coming in.  The canopy of trees has been largely preserved while opening up the feel you have while you're going down or looking down the driveway in either direction.  Rob, our project manager, builder, etc. said it was one of the most beautiful sites he'd worked on.   That all goes to my husband, who found and championed the site.   It really was a find.

Today was the demolition of the existing house on the property.  My in-laws, husband, builder, and I came to watch as Shaun pulled the house down while saving two large trees that were within three feet of the building.  Our builder said it couldn't be done.  Shaun said he could do it.  And he most definitely did.  He also plucked the chandelier with the excavator so we could save the last custom glass pieces on it.   He's something else.  

My son: was sick today.  He didn't have COVID and he had no fever, but when I came to pick him up mid-day a father was picking his daughter up who had similar symptoms.

My daughter: was sad about the house being demolished.  I told her I was too, but in order for us to build our house it had to come dow.   That made her feel a little bit but not much better.   I did hate to see the house come down, even if it was in a mess of a state. 

 

I'm Still Here

I've been taking a break from the blog.   I loved doing my posts every night for years.  Of late, we're working on a video late at night after the children go to sleep, and when we're done, I want to just go to sleep—only I have a blog post to write.   I should write them earlier in the day, I know, tell me about it.  It just doesn't seem to happen that way for a collection of reasons, all of them my fault. 

But I'll be back, and I have a slew of topics that have happened since I last wrote here.  I'm going to backdate the posts and catch up on everything.   Currently, I have a project I shouldn't have accepted from a company that wanted to send us a printer.  It sounded like a good idea at the time; it was anything but.  

I have set a drop dead date of the end of this weekend for publishing the video, which won't be what I wanted it to be, but the printer is poorly documented and entirely different from anything else on the market.   I'll do the best I can to be honest while also telling the truth about what my thoughts are on the printer. I can do it, but it won't be the video I wanted to do.   I can't spend more hours figuring out things that aren't supported with documentation by the company or the small number of people who have bought the printer.  It will be something, though.  Typically, we require up-front payment, but my producer let them pay afterward since they were sending the printer, which was not inexpensive. 

Never again will I do that.  I would rather not have the printer than have a question of if they will pay us or not.  It is far, far too easy for companies to just not pay.  I have fellow content creators who have chased down companies and gotten angrier and angrier, feeling entitled to the money when they have virtually nothing to stand on and are without a legal team to pursue what is very small money in comparison to legal fees.  Couple that with the companies typically being in China, and, well,  you're never seeing the money—which is why we have an up-front payment policy in almost all cases.   

I do trust my producer and the decisions he makes, but I would rather not have the worry about the work we're doing, which is not low-quality, and not have the product to show.   Some people don't mind post-payment, but most people I know work that way.  As we grow, it will be easier because companies want exposure from our audience.   That's always the thing, though, will we see growth?  If so, how much and how fast?   So far, we've been very fortunate to have over half a million total subscribers/followers we now have across the platforms we publish on, but things could always change. 

It's a Takeover (Again)

My daughter wanted to take over and do the Filament Stories video for the night—so we let her.  She found out how hard it is to get your brain to say what you want it to say when the camera starts rolling.   Doing something as simple as bringing in the thing you're holding off camera to the center of the table while saying something can mess you up twenty times.  

It really is daunting how walking and chewing gum is something we can do easily because we've done it a lot of times.   Rolling a spool of filament on screen while talking about a model by a designer from a repository that's free to download is a lot at once.   She's having to remember things she has no frame of reference to.  I work with the designer and have spent loads of time browsing the repository and the filament I ordered and have been using.   So it comes a little more quickly to me.  

But she did a great job.   She's hired. 

The Big Boy Show and Tell:  My son gets so excited about his video games and the progress he's made in them.   He wants to tell me all about what he's done or the item he's gotten or how much in-game gold he's raised.   It's really sweet to hear him talk about it with such excitement and pride. 

Summer is Boring

My daughter is bored.   She is very bored.  And of course all the things we suggest she do she doesn't want to do.   One thing she never tires of is playing with the guinea pigs though.   Although I have a worry with them.  They are the kindest, sweetest animals you could imagine.  They have massive teeth that could tear us to shreds, but they never bite. 

Okay, Cheerio bites, but he mostly nibbles, which you can use to your advantage because it tells you when he's ready to go back to the cage (typically to go to the bathroom, but he might also be tired of being held)

The Critical Sibling:  My son really needs to work on his positivity.  He almost always, without fail, tells his sister she's doing something wrong with how she holds or does things with the guinea pigs.   She handles it well, but I wish he would look at things more positively sometimes.  

Fourth Of In Bed

There was celebration across the country.   I celebrated in bed almost all day long.  My favorite thing was the Geography Now YouTube channel's video on the United States.   He's been creating excellent videos about countries one at a time for ten years now.  His videos are so good they're used in classrooms in some places.   

In all this time, he hasn't done his home country.   I wondered how the video would cover everything and if it would receive negative feedback.   It was just right and it has been very well-received.   It was an hour long, but well worth the watch.   Especially if you're stuck in bed on the Fourth of July. 

The Children: are scared of me.   My daughter asks every time she hears my voice, "do you have your mask on?!"   If I don't and she's coming in the room or if I'm eating I tell her.  My son just makes a big display of sucking in a big breath and running away. 

July Three Blurred Together

I know things have happened.  The Guinea pigs cage needed cleaning, I was able to work for twelve hours one day, possibly this day, but I also did a lot of not doing much and sleeping or lying in bed falling in and out of sleep. 

My Children: are very sweet.  They want me to rest and feel better.   I'm tired of resting. 

Up at Five o'Clock

I got out of bed at 5PM today.   It wasn't a bad day considering, but I've had better. 

The Children Are Afraid of Me:  They run screaming from the room after making a big show of holding their breath when they run into me.   I was told I wasn't aloud out of the bedroom.   I have to eat, I told one.   My daughter just hid in her room all day.   I'll see them next week I suppose. 

It Could Be Worse

I have good times and bad times with COVID-19.   Or is it COVID-23 now?  Prior to COVID-19, I thought there was one every year; it just turned out the one in 2019 was particularly awful.    At any rate, I have it, and I'm doing fairly well. 

Considering three years ago, I would be fearing for my very life right now, it isn't bad at all.   I'm resting until I get a good wind, and then I get up and do things for a few hours.   

Then, I go back to bed.  There has been a lot of being in bed and doing sleeping things. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter was very insistent I help her with things yesterday.   I told her I was feeling bad and that it could be COVID.   I got to the point that I was unstable on my feet and was pretty much delirious, and everything felt terrible.  Every single joint.   So far as of July 3rd (I'm writing this from the future), she is clear and doesn't have it, which is a relief.

The Big Boy Update:  My son is the only member of our family who hasn't gotten COVID yet.  He is very fearful and wants to stay far away from me.  Good.  I fully support him avoiding me.

COVID-19

It's not really 19 COVID anymore, is it?   You don't hear people saying, "I got COVID-23 this weekend". Regardless, I have it.  I went all this time and thought I was going to make it through without contracting it, but today, it got me hard. 

I felt like the words flu-like pains in all my joints.  I wasn't stable walking, and really needed to lie down.   I had to do some things around the house though that couldn't wait.  My daughter wanted help and me play with her, but when I said I was almost certain I had it, she decided she didn't want to be near me.  

The 1% Battery Boy:  My son can wear out a battery.  He'll get it down to three percent and only then think about charging it.   I should write a whole blog post about it.  

The Bored Girl Updates:  My daughter is bored, wants us to play with her, wants help with this or that thing, and the list goes on.  She doesn't want to clean her room and put up her laundry.  I said I would play with her, but she had too put up her folded laundry from the hamper.  All she had to do was put them in drawers.  Suddenly she was sleepy and her leg hurts and she kept on about it.   So she didn't get played with today.   

3:30AM

My flight in the morning is at 6:15, which is early enough.  My husband and daughter's flight is at 5:15.  What in the world?  That's new and earlier than ever.  Yikes.   

I have to go pack.  And sleep.   Whew, it's already 10:30.  

MRRF Planning

We have so much going on.  I should be packing for MRRF, planning everything so that I can head to the airport, knowing I planned everything and got it all ready in good time.   Gone are those days.   I don't know when I'll pack, but tonight it's not going to happen.   I really feel like I'm a mess sometimes.  

I am trying to get details on another trip I'm taking in less than a month.  I'm going to help another company and they're sponsoring my trip in part.   It's a big event with 3D printing a small part of it.   I don't know the hotel yet, I don't know the schedule aside from very vague general blocks of time things are happening.   I'm okay with a lot of things being unknown but the lack of hotel bothers me because I don't want to have to stay somewhere far from the venue without a car.   They are sure it will all work out.  I hope so

I'm trying to coordinate a time to see my sister-in-law and I think we have a confirmed time the day I arrive.  I'm going to corner the company when I see them at MRRF this weekend and get some facts, darn it.   That being said, I'm very excited about MRRF.  Now, I have to go do something to get ready

The Boy At Home:  My son is staying with my in-laws this weekend and coming back to the house to take care of the guinea pigs.   He says he doesn't mind being left at home with them. 

The Daughter In The Finals:  My daughter and husband are off to Las Angeles so she can compete in The Braille Challenge Nationals for her second year running.  We are so proud of her.  She has blue hair for the event.  It looks wonderful!

Umbrelda

I don't like umbrellas.   In theory, they have a good purpose.  In practice, you're dealing with the umbrella far more than the umbrella is helpful to you when it's raining.   I was a staunch refusor of umbrella help for much of my life.  I would rather get wet than deal with an umbrella. 

Then I found an umbrella I love. I keep it in my car.  It's black and red and opens ut upside down.    Today, coming back from getting groceries for the special Father's Day dinner my son wanted to make for his father, it suddenly was pouring.  I had groceries, and I had to film, and I didn't want my hair to get drenched, which would mean frizzy after it dried.    

I have named this umbrella "Umbrelda".  I have never named an umbrella before.  I must really like it. 

The Big Boy Update: In the pouring rain at the store this afternoon, I sent my son to the car to get the umbrella.  He was so sweet to get it for me—especially because he didn't know where it was, and I had to mime how to get to it in the under-storage area.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter's hair is the most gorgeous shade of blue now.  It is just so beautiful.  I had Sue bleach out two little bits right at the top front (where bangs would be), and they just set off her face with that amazing blue hair.   I love it so, so much.   

Gardenias

I wrote about these recently, I know, but it's the season of the gardenia flowers around the house, and I love how they smell.  I'm not sure if the kind I have here is the same as what my parents had at their house when I was growing up.   Mine seem to last only a day after picking them, no matter how much water you treat them to.   The ones my parents had seemed to last much longer.  

They also don't seem to have a very long season here, so I try to make the most of them while I can.  If someone could capture the true smell of gardenia flowers in a candle, I would buy stores of them.  One time, years ago in an airport I smelled exactly that: a candle that truly smelled like gardenia flowers.   It was expensive, and I didn't buy it.  I regretted that decision but I knew I would be going back to the location soon and I'd buy it then.  

When I returned, the candle was gone.   I looked every time I went back in hopes of finding it.  I've been looking for years and have never found one.   Maybe someday. 

The Happy Angry Children:  The children play so well together.   They get along and are making up games and really having a nice time.   Until something goes wrong.   And then they end on very bad terms.  They are particularly angry at us when we won't solve their problems for them.

The Father's Day Dinner

Dinner was delicious on Father's Day.   This was because we all went out to The Melting Pot and overate together.   My mother- and father-in-law were there with us, and we had our friend JC come join us too because he was down working with me on some things in preparation for the Midwest RepRap Festival coming up this weekend. 

My mother-in-law and I are there for the cheese.   I love the cheese.  I could eat cheese the whole meal while other people cooked their meats, had a salad and ate the chocolate fondue.   I could happily watch them do all of that while I ate more and more cheese.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter likes the meat part of the meal the best.  Which is interesting because she still contends that she's a vegetarian.   Some days. 

The  Big Boy Update:  My son could not stay in his seat.  He had to bop around and move while we ate.   The interesting thing was that the restaurant was almost empty.  On Father's Day I wouldn't have expected that.  So it was okay for him to move around since there were no people to bother. 

Father's Day Preparation

My daughter and I have a Father's Day present/surprise planned for my husband tomorrow.   Only I don't know if the thing I got for him won't work because because it's too small.   I'll see if I can get her to help me in the morning, but even if it doesn't work, it will still be a cute present.  

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is well-prepared for Father's Day (she's always prepareed for any holiday that involves being grateful to a parent, grandparent or other person in her life.)  She loves doing complicated things to say she loves you.   I do love seeing her get excited about her gifts!

Cracked and Crumbling

My son broke his iPad screen.  It was bound to happen, and for the amount he wanders around with it, I'm surprised it hasn't happened before.  What he's been doing though has been worrying me:  he's still using it.  I was hoping the cracks would start to bother him, especially if the glass started to shed sharp little fragments.   A natural consequence of sorts. 

It did not bother my son, who has continued to use the iPad.  Tonight I noticed it was in much worse shape than I had thought.  I've taken it away.  He'll have to pay for the screen to be replaced.   He knows this.  I think we're going to have him pay for a case as well.  

Lexulous

My daughter and mother are going to play Scrabble together online with the Lexulous website.  I'm very excited about this.   My daughter loves Scrabble, and my mother loves it as well.  Setting them up to play a game together was lots of fun. 

My daughter wants to win, but what she wants to do more than win is play a word she's gotten in her mind. She simply must play.   She will hold off the letters and play small points words so she can hopefully get the letter(s) she's missing and play it the next round.   

This will only work for here with a friendly opponent, which my mother is right now.  Hopefully, she'll pick up some tactics from my mother.  She's already beating me at Scrabble.  I'm afraid to play her after she's been playing with Mimi for a while!

Paperwork Priority

I've had a lot of paperwork on my desk.  Every time I tried to get to it, something would come up.   It was possible to get things done, but other things just took higher priority.   It grew and grew until, finally, I had to shut the world out and get things filed and documented.   None of it was hard; it was just a lot of little things that all needed to be managed without interruptions.  

But today I did it!  I got it all done, save for a few things that need extra attention.   It just made my day.   

The Children Going Out To Dinner:  You would think we'd asked the children to go for a week without audiobooks or something with the fit the two of them put up when we said we were all going out to dinner.   Unfortunately, they didn't have a choice in the matter.   What happened when we got there (to the surprise of neither of the adults) was they had a good time.   I do like spending time with everyone when we're all happy and happy to be together. 

Capstone Day

Today was my son's last day at his school of eleven years.  Technically, we were supposed to have this completed a few weeks ago, but there were a few complications so we did it after school was out, which sort of turned out to be a nice thing because no one was in a hurry and we could take the day at whatever pace we wanted. 

I think in a different time, my son would have done a trip and this whole Capstone trip would be more than a trip to the Natural History museum downtown with his teachers and parents, lunch at Char Grill and then an escape room event with the five of us, but it worked for us and we all had fun.   

It was a lovely day.  I was sad when it was over.  

 

Family Foursome

My son was in his first golf tournament today.  He was the fourth in a foursome of his grandparents and father.   He wasn't into the event at first, mostly because he didn't have much experience in golf, but he did get into the game and had a good time by the end.   If he became interested in golf, I know he would have a lot of support from his grandparents and father.  I'm not sure how much he liked it, although he did do an after school golf group for a while last year and seemed to like it. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  In the car today, the first thing my daughter said when the door shut from school, "Can you take me somewhere to go to the bathroom?"  So we stopped to get smoothies.   Then she asked if I could take her to the same museum she wanted to go the day before.  They closed in less than an hour and it would take twenty minutes to get there.   We're going to have to make a trip soon; she really wants to go.

I Almost Did Nothing

I did get up and do some things, but for a decent portion of the day, I tried very hard to do nothing.  And by nothing I mean nothing useful, meaningful or on any list of things I needed to do.   I was fairly successful.  

The Big Boy Update:  My son loves to have all the lights on.  He wants all the lights on at max brightness.   I don't think we live in a dim land in the house here, but he seems to think we do.  Perhaps we're too concerned about energy consumption and turning lights off when you're not in a room makes sense, or maybe some of the overhead lights are harsh and we never turn them on.   My son likes them all on, regardless of brightness or harshness. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My son asks to go to a place that takes preparation to go to at a point in the day when it's not a good time for anyone.   Then when you say no, you feel bad for it.  We always tell her to plan ahead with us and yes, we can go to the children's museum or trampoline park or wherever, but last minute, right now just doesn't work well. 

Thick Toothpaste Lines

My daughter had a friend over today who is also blind.  They will be going to the same school next year, which will be very nice.   They had the best time playing together and eventually asked if they could continue it as a sleepover, which we said would be fine.   They didn't need any interventions by us; it was just a great day. 

I was busy a lot of the day on a live stream with a special printing mode that showed a nearly clear filament with loads of rainbow glitter coming out of a huge nozzle that almost looked like toothpaste.  Everyone thought it was crazy and exciting looking at the same time.   It was interesting to have the filament company on the live stream as well, talking about their filament.   We all had a great time. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son has screens.  Lots of them, all day.   It's the first day of summer, why not, right?

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter's friend had had a seizure the night before and became worried she might have one again and decided she wanted to go home.  Her parents had gone out to dinner and their other child was on a sleepover too so I hated bringing her back home, but I assured them to not hurry, no one was upset, in fact, we were all having a great time.   She was worried about the sleeping part.   The cutest thing was she said to my daughter, "I want you to know I'm reliable when it comes to sleepovers.  I've only ever bailed two times before."  We said she needed to listen to her body and if she felt safer at home, then going home made sense. 

School's Out (I'm So Not Prepared For This)

After eleven years at the only school my son has ever known, he is now a graduate of what is considered sixth grade in all other schools aside from Montessori.   Montessori has different names for things, but everyone knows the translations. 

I can't believe it.  I'm sort of confused about not having to go back to that school when the new year starts in the fall.    My son will be going to the same school as his sister, which is probably a good thing, although it's not what he wanted.  There will be benefits I'm sure, although the other school was certainly nice. 

I suppose it's happened, and the time has come.  We have said goodbye to our family's first school.  In two weeks we'll say goodbye to my daughter's school in the same way 

The Big Boy Update:  My son was in a horrible mood when school was out on Friday.   Was he upset?  We don't know, but he did not want to go to the after-school party in the park with pizza and threw a fit in the car.  We wanted to see the other parents and didn't understand. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I got a message that my daughter's pants had a hole in the crotch and could I came bring her more pants.  I left before going to the picnic only to find they had given her loaner pants at the office and she was eating lunch and I didn't need to come.  

Cookies, Cookies, Cookies

My son's "passion project" as a sixth year happened today.   There were going to be cookies given out to the families at school as they came for pickup.   My sweet daughter to the rescue.  She made cookies after cookies for the whole school aside from those that needed gluten-free or were vegan.  Those we bought to make sure we met all qualifications.   

My daughter cooked not only loads of cookies for her brother's event, she even brought me a little bowl of uncooked cookie dough—my favourite.   I do love my children.  Even if they're about to be middle schoolers!

So Sleepy

I have no idea what happened to me today.  I couldn't stay awake after a long morning meeting.   I was so asleep that when my husband woke me up to get the children, I was so groggy I had to blast the cold air on me to wake up when I started driving.  

I got home, told my daughter I was still tired and went back to sleep.   I'm fine now, But I don't know why I was so tired.  

The Most Understanding Children:  My children don't think I'm lazy when I sleep during the day.  They know I need to take a break, usually because I'm in pain.  I wish they didn't know I was in pain, but I can't hide it from them at this point.   Still, they're very sweet. 

Mouse Up!

Okay, it's still a trackpad, but it's working again.  Apparently, it was at 0% battery, and the charging cable I plugged in wasn't charging it.  When I put a proper cable in it, it started working straight away. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son went to school for career day in slacks and a button-down white dress shirt.   He wanted to be a Real Estate agent just like his father.   Two generations of real estate agents in the family.  I am so proud.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter loves those little eggs or plaster blocks that you pretend to be the archaeologist and dig things up.   She got a dozen eggs from Aunt A for Christmas, and she loved them.   She got her father to get these big gold blocks of yellow sand, and you could get actual gold for one in twenty, it said.   She bought several of these things, and I fear the table is permanently marred from the fiercely stuck-together sand that made up this block.  She got three, and it's taken her the better part of a week to get them opened.  Wouldn't you know it, the last one had the actual gold in it.   A teeny tiny bit of gold protected in some cardboard paper.   She was thrilled. 

Mouse Down!

Well, it's not a mouse, it's a track pad or touch pad or whatever Apple calls it.   It just died.  I thought perhaps I'd missed the messages about the battery being low on charge and could I please charge it up overnight.   It's plugged in now and nothing is working.   So I'm trying to use as few motions and clicks as possible to get this post done since the laptop is way off to the side from the monitor and keyboard. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter ended her year with the Capital City Girls Choir by singing the national anthem for a baseball game here.   We ran into her music therapist and she might want to do some work with her to train her voice if she's going to try to do some voice acting. 

The Angry Big Boy:  My son was so furious all day today.  Then tonight he felt horrible and had a stomach ache.   He had multiple fairly major things he needed to do for the last week of school.   He made it to eleven and got it all done with the help of two adults hovering over him trying to help

My Daughter, The Older Younger Child

My daughter is very mature for her age.  She has to be given all she's been through.  She takes care of her homework and anything else she needs to know for school, although she can be forgetful about things and then panic when she remembers.   But she is also my youngest child by a number of years in many things.   

If she's uncomfortable in a situation, like this most recent visit with her psychiatrist, she sat on the floor and played with trucks, and I mean played with trucks like she was a toddler.  She can be thrown off by things and it reverts her.   I suppose we can all do this to a degree.   I know she's really uncomfortable when this happens with her. 

My son is similar.   He is super mature when he's thinking about the friends he has over all the time.  But sometimes he acts like a little boy in bed who only talks in baby talk.  Not that my son has any less reasons to feel insecure, but I always feel more for my daughter when it happens to her.   The world is much harder on her in a lot of ways.    

About My Daughter—Questions

When I get in a call or in a meeting or anything online with people the conversation of late is almost always about my daughter first.   People have questions about different things, number one being if she's completely blind, why does she wear glasses? 

All of the questions are valid and I've told my daughter the next video we do is going to have to start with a Q&A discussion.   It's been very sweet that people are asking questions and worried they're going to offend us or her or that it's an inappropriate question.   We all need to learn and the good news is we're not easily offended.   

Hopefully we can educate people about  blindness, or at least our experience with blindness.   

300 Plus

My son was very happy today.  For his Passion Project, they have sold more than three hundred dollars to go to the American Cancer Society with his Luminary event.   It will be at school the night before the last day.   We're going to have something to eat and drink hopefully to have children and families come to see the event and say goodbye. 

It will be the night before my son leaves his school forever.   He's been there for eleven years.   It's all he really knows.   I'm going to miss the school a huge amount myself too.  

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has a smattering of new canes.  She didn't want to go to a tapping cane until we found one from another company that was very light.   But it didn't fold up.   Now she has some folding canes that are so tiny and light.   They'll fit in your back pocket.  

It's a Mess

My life is a mess.  Something I never would have thought would be that I would be so overwhelmed with things to do that I just give up and don't get some things done.   The house has been those things of late.   Which I find really strange.   Something I loved that would give me joy was going to sleep at night knowing everything in the house was tidied, all the dishes were up, things were prepared for the morning and my papers were in order.   

Of late, even my desk is a wreck.   I'm trying to adjust to the new life I'm leading, but it's taking some getting used to.   I don't think I like it as much as the orderly, tidy all the time me of the past.  

Maybe the me of the past is still in there, in here.  I don't like the me of the now.  I want to have everything spit spot like Mary Poppins said.   For now, it is my hope. 

The Big Boy Update: my son has sold a good number of luminaries for his Passion Project.   He is very happy.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter told her VI teacher that she really didn't know what she could see. The doctors said she can't see much at all.   She said she doesn't really use her vision much though because she has such a great imagination.  That's so my girl. 

Passion Project

My husband and I are very worried about my son's "Passion Project" that he's doing for his final year at school.   It's a luminary project but things about it seem all wrong.   It doesn't seem well-thought out.   He didn't seem to know what was going on, including that he was supposed to be at school early this morning for his own project to sell luminaries at drop-off.

We helped him understand how the luminaries work this weekend and I got him to record a video to tell his classmates how to set them up.   They were planning on preparing things in advance (which would have ruined the luminary bags and the whole thing would have been a big mess).   

We hurried around and I went in to talk to his teacher.   She said my son had talked to the head of school three times, did I know this?  No, we didn't, because he doesn't like to tell us anything.  At any rate, she said it's okay if the selling doesn't work out because there were added days in the scheduled to look at a second option for selling them,  

She said it was intentional that they weren't involved, because it was okay to have setbacks and learn from them.   So I hope it will all be okay and my son will be happy.   He thought we were messing up his day.   Before I left he ran back that they'd sold one.  One luminary.  He wanted to sell three hundred.   I think they sold a few today.  But he was excited he sold the one.   Which was all I needed to hear.   I need to let him figure it out.    

I just don't want to fail as a parent by not being there for what he needs.   Hopefully we're doing enough.  And not too much.  

The First Random Item

We are using a post office to have people mail things to Filament Stories.   We have that address posted on the website in case people want to mail something with information saying there is no guarantee anything sent will be used on our social media or used at all for that matter.  

Companies for the most part want to negotiate a contract with us which means we don't receive much to our P.O. Box that is unexpected.   

I got something today that I had heard was coming.  I didn't know what it was for, and it didn't seem to make much sense, but it was magnets and I love magnets.   What it was was a fidget using some strong magnets, for my daughter.   It's very nice to move around with the little clicks a magnet does.   And it's a solid little fidget. 

My daughter likes it.   Although she was confused as to why someone would have mailed something to her that we didn't know.    

They Understand

Some days I feel like a terrible, horrible, lazy person.   I get up and work pretty much every day of the week, because that's what I do.  I do love the 3D printing and Filament Stories parts of my life.   I take time to do things with the children and a good chunk of the day making sure the guinea pigs aren't living in filth and that they have enrichment in their lives.   

It's a lot of time at the computer, something I would never have been able to do without the spinal fusions.   But despite the help that brought, I am still dealing with pain and degeneration.   So I go and lie down every day. I feel like the biggest loser, having to lie down.  But it helps the pain and I can get other things done like responding to messages from people or catching up on other videos from peers or that people have sent me.   Or I can just take a break.  

Do the children understand that I'm not a complete slob and I choose looking at videos over them?  Do they understand that when their father takes a break it's in a chair downstairs in front of the television or at his computer.   He doesn't lie down and sometimes fall asleep. 

I asked my son today about this very thing.  He said, "Mom, we know.  We understand."   He nearly made me cry.   

Every Night This Happens

I say I'm going to finish things early so I can go to bed.   We are going to get that content produced early and be done and I can go lie down and my back won't hurt so badly or I'll have time to get to the eleventy twelve other things on my to do list. 

Tonight it's 11:40 and we're just finishing principal filming on the video, which means we're far away from betting the video completed.  Sigh, we try every day.  I started printing as soon as I got up.   The prints were done but we went to dinner with the children and had games with them and then when they went to bed we started work, but I had to get it all organized first, so that pushed things out a bit longer because I have to have more than just some prints slapped down on the workbench.   I need to be completely prepared and we have to get the information ready for the posts as well because people want that information. 

Damnit, I did it again.  I came here and whined.   I hate that I'm whining.  My husband doesn't beat himself up for not getting more done.  He's so good about being level-headed and reasonable about everything.   I am always trying to be better, and maybe that's actually making things worse. 

The Big Boy Tiny Girl No Contact Dinner:  We went to dinner with the children to a sushi restaurant they like that we hadn't been to in a long time.   We kept them far apart at diagonals of the table so they wouldn't get into the touching thing where they pester each other.   We are working on kindness.   Is it so much to ask for kindness?  The dinner went well and we had a good time playing cards afterwards/.  Ot was a gapped day with them. 

Family In Town

We got to see Aunt Kelly and Uncle Eric tonight.  As well as their dog, Daisy.   We had dinner with my in-laws and caught up and the children were pests because they were bored when they weren't being involved but then wanted to be in the middle of things and tried to force their way into the conversation.  

I was young once, I remember what it was like when the adults did that "boring talking thing".

The Children Fighting:  After everyone had left, we went upstairs to play card games as a family.   The first game went fairly well, although my son and daughter were bugging each other.   We dealt the second hand out and the children were just rolling around, trying to bother the other one more and then it got physical where they were trying to hurt each other.   My husband lost his temper and we both decided we were done.   My daughter was upset.   It makes no sense.   Why do they do this?  I can't understand.   I never had a sibling. 

The Sidetracking Marathon

Some days I feel like I can't get anything done.  There are so many ways to communicate: email, Discord, text message, voicemail, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, YouTube, Twitter, FilamentStories website, Patreon.com, Any of the model repository sites we download models from, and I'm sure I missed some others that I'm on regularly.   Keeping up with it all is a maze of being sidetracked.  Here's a very reasonable scenario of a typical morning's start:  

It's the start of the day and I've gotten home from dropping the children off at school and procuring coffee.  I need to find things that have come in and handle them.  But if it’s not slapping me in the face, banging on my forehead, or sounding a gong, I’ll miss it when it arrives.  I feel like I'm bombarded all day.  For example, I start by going to Instagram to respond to someone when I see a post in the Instagram feed that I had been meaning to comment on.  I comment and then see the next post which is amazing and I want to consider printing it for an upcoming video.  I go to Cults3D.com to download the model I notice on the front page, a model is being featured—a model I’ve already printed for an upcoming video—so I click in to get the information I'll need when we record the video.  "Now where was I," I think, "Ah, yes, responding to that person on Instagram."  I go to Instagram messages and there are some messages I can handle very quickly, so respond with a heart or smiley face.  Then I see a message that's concerning so I click in.   I need to look a few things up to confirm the facts before responding.  I grab a sticky pad to write down some numbers and there is something on the top page that I was supposed to have done two days ago, so I go check to see if I have an email about it.  When I open email I see I  didn’t respond to Reese’s teacher about the upcoming IEP proposed meeting date.  I need to respond so they can coordinate with the other eight attendees.   I open my calendar to add the meeting to it and see that today, "Hm, I was supposed to do that today?  Gah! I’ll add it to the to-do list for today, which includes yesterday's list of incompleted items.    I'm now how many sidetracks in?  I can't even remember where I started.  I'd better write down what I remember.

There are just TOO MANY ways to communicate and too many ways to try and organize everything but since I’m using multiple, because Protopasta uses this, and Asylum uses that, and Chris isn’t Mac, so we coordinate.  Looking at my text messages I think, "Oh no, I didn’t see the message from the dog groomer: she was waiting for me all weekend to let her know if she could come to groom the dog.  I see a prescription is ready to be picked up.  So I don't forget, I write "Prescription" on a sticky note and stick it on my purse to get it on the way to get my daughter.  At this point I think, "where was I?   Sigh, I got lost in sidetracks...again.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter's first video has not only had a lot of views on all of the platforms, but people are also commenting and saying the nicest things to her.  There are only a few outliers like the one person who said how did we really know if she was blind she could have been looking.   People jumped all over him about that.  Another person said if she was blind, why was she wearing glasses.  My husband responded that they aren't corrective, they're for protection.  People also jumped on that commenter saying there were "Legally Blind" people who had glassed which in no way changes the fact that they're blind.   But forget those people.  Thank you so much to everyone who has been so supportive and kind!

The Big Boy Update:  My son had a very bad day yesterday, he said.   He has very sweetly apologized for the things he said in the car yesterday morning.  He wasn't even hoping for a change in my decision.  He is upset it's a three-day weekend.   I don't know what to do to get the children to understand that flat out insulting a person is not okay.  My husband and I talked and wondered if they were getting this behavior from us.   We don't think so, we don't resort to insulting someone if we're angry at them or if we don't get what we want or any number of things along those lines.  We never talk about the person as a whole, we talk about the specific action.   At least we hope it's not behavior they've learned from us. 

First Solo Video

My daughter wanted to do the Filament Stories video of the day.   She stood there at the table and did the entire video in one take.   Can I do a video in one take?  No, I cannot.   She was so relaxed looking too.   

I am really proud of her. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son cannot be kind.  He can't say positive things about people and when he doesn't like something you say, he insults you in a way that caused him to lose screens for the whole weekend.   And I'm not backing down from it.   I don't know where we went wrong. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I discovered today that my daughter hasn't been taking her antidepressant.   She has always known she can stop whenever she's ready.   I just told her to let us know because you don't want to just stop taking it.    I need to contact her doctor, but first, I need to find out how much she has been skipping first.    She said she's fine without it.   That's a good thing, I just don't want her to have a backlash. 

HotMakes Firetruck!

This morning I told Clockspring I'd forgotten to tell him I was going to be on the HotMakes podcast/stream tonight.   I was also going to ask if he'd possibly consider making a model I could unveil on the stream that was specifically for them, with HotMakes on the model somewhere. 

Somehow, we made something work.  There were two things that made this impossible thing possible.  First, Clockspring is amazing.  He designed a model from the ground up in less than four hours—including prints that took over an hour each, during which we had to wait to see how they worked before he could make changes for the next iteration with three test prints in all.

The second thing was the Bambu printers.  They are so fast that it was possible to get the model printed in time to iterate.   Without those two things, the HotMakes Firetruck (with ladder kickstand!) would not have been possible.  Clockspring is so nice to make this model especially for us and then to release it free to download to everyone.   Here's a link to the model:

https://www.printables.com/model/488109-flippy-ladder-firetruck-filament-stories-and-hotma

The Big Boy Update:  My son doesn't want to watch "good" things, usually preferring to watch YouTubers playing video games so he can learn strategies and "glitches".  Today he asked if he could watch the Lemony Snickets: A Series of Unfortunate Events series.   We gave him permission.   I wished I'd had time to watch them with him. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Last night my daughter came into the stream with a guinea pig in her arms.  We were going to have her say hello.  I told her to put the stuffed guinea pig on her head and come into the area where I was.  We'd wait until she was in view and I'd say, "nooo!" and then she should tip her head over and we'd see the guinea pig drop.    She totally got me with this trick and it scared me almost to death.   It worked perfectly, only she and I couldn't keep a straight face.  But people agreed it was quite the trick to play on someone.

First Livestream

I have back-to-back livestreams over the next two days.  I've been invited to be the guest on both.  The one for today is a lovely lady who had me sign her husband's shirt since he couldn't make the RMRRF show we were at a month ago.  

She wanted to ask a few questions about what was okay to ask.   I said anything was fine.   She wanted to make sure.   Like was it okay if she asked what my favorite filament was.   Why that wouldn't be okay to ask confused me.   She said she didn't know if I had exclusivity deals with any companies.   Oh no, we can't do that, I told her, that would defeat the purpose of showing you all kinds of filaments if I had to show only certain ones. 

She had other questions about what was and wasn't okay.  I said it was all okay and I think she eventually was comfortable with the stream coming up at the end of the day.   We had a very fun time chatting (this was TikTok only) and towards the end we had more people join the stream with us as participants.  

Three hours was how much fun we had talking.   People are really so nice in the 3D printing community is what I've said countless times.  Everyone on the stream agreed.

The Children Understand:  I've done this long enough now that my children know what, "mom will be on a livestream starting at seven" for instance.   They are so very understanding.  

So Touching

I haven't been reading the comments, or looking at how many likes the videos have gotten.  I've tried to do very little to see how they've been received other than checking view numbers across platforms.   I'm just too scared.  

Why am I scared?  I have no idea.   People are nice.  In this case, they're being incredibly nice.   My husband, producer, and Clockspring have told me how really positive everything has been.  And I know there are some comments I need to answer specifically, but I can't right yet.  

It is something to do with how heavy a topic it is in my brain.  How important it is to me, perhaps.   It's such a relief and a feeling of success that I got the project finished that I need to take a break from it for a while.   That, coupled with me not wanting to know if people didn't find it as important as I did.  

But bottom line, I can't explain why I want to run and hide as soon as we put out a heavy hitting video.

The Big Boy Update:  My son is off on an overnight trip to the lake with four other boys for a birthday party, staying at the lake house of one the birthday child.  My son was very happy to get out of here and go off with friends.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has been at Busch Gardens all day long. ALL day long, since six in the morning.   They were in a choir competition and then they spent the day at Busch Gardens, with the day ending with an awards ceremony.   Their group got a trophy for winning something.  My daughter told me everyone won something.   It was a nice way to end the season.   She loved the rides, of course.

So Close

I've had a video I've wanted to get out since I started Filament Stories: the introduction of my daughter and the story of how I got into 3D pricing, which was because of her. 

I'm tired, she was amazing.  I can't wait for the videos to come out.  There will be more than one, which was unexpected, but she was so cute and great with the camera. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son sneaks up on us and says hello.  His voice is light ad quiet.  When his voice changes it is going to be a big difference in how he presents himself, just from the lower register alone.   I think it's going to be great.  

Lumbar!

What in the heck did I do to my lumbar back region?  It is so bad I can barely think straight from all the pain right now.   Nothing is touching it.   I went to the chiropractor's office today and felt much better when I left, which isn't usually the case; usually, it's after I leave that I start noticing things improving. 

I need to go to bed.   The children are cute and sweet and my daughter does what she wants to do even if you're standing over her saying, "do not touch that button!"   You know she's going to push that button.   My son agrees to restrictions or punishments as he likes to think of our consequences.   He's starting to catch on and may well moderate his behavior.  But he may also be about to double down and get worse by rebelling more.   And to think they're almost teenagers!

My Own Deadline

I've forced a deadline on myself that is going to be tough to meet.   I did it intentionally because I'm going to be on not one, but two live stream shows and I have to have the video out before them.  They expect it will be out, I said it would be done.  Now I just have to do it.  It's been too easy to put off. 

The Children Aren't Babies Anymore:  My children put themselves to bed, and both want to stay up much later than I want them to.    They seem to be fine with less sleep.   It was going to happen in this direction.   It's not like the days when they slept twelve hours out of the day.  

Holding My Email Breath

I have decided to pick my battle.   Or rather my next battle.   I am going to try and get all of my inboxes under control.   For the majority of my email account owning years, I have had a tidy and under control inbox, but this is not the case currently and hasn't been so for two years or so now.  And I hate it. 

There are lots of things I need to do, but I am just tired of it being a black hole of emails coming in.   I have been yelled at by my husband because I didn't know when something had come in via email. The thing he yelled at me about was almost exactly one year ago.   He doesn't yell often, but this time he did.   Why didn't I just read the emails and handle them?   It's not that hard.  

It isn't that hard.   None of the things I need to do are that hard.  There are good reasons I haven't put email as a higher priority and not-so-good ones.   But I'm fed up.   I want zero-count inboxes again.   I've made progress over the last few days.   I hope I can keep up the pace. 

The Son That Doesn't Learn:  He snuck the Switch tonight.   He is so not even clever about it.   I took it and said that was fine, he had traded Monday for Friday.  I'd let him have it back on Saturday.   He wanted to make it up.   He wanted a do-over.  He wanted to swap time (for time he would be out of town with a friend on Sunday) but none of it happened because he had already made the decision.  I told him I'd keep the Switch so he wouldn't make another bad decision and lose the rest of the weekend. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Choir practice for the year is over.  They have a national anthem to sing at the local baseball game and another performance on the way up to Busch Gardens this weekend.   My daughter said she wants to keep doing Choir.  I'm so glad she wants to stay after her other VI friend decided to leave. 

My Mother's Day Song

My daughter's teacher sent out to the parents this morning a Happy Mother's Day message with a hint that there was something our children had made for us coming later.   Here's what my daughter gave me when I got in from getting coffee and biscuits: 

This says "I love you mom" in the small cream area.  She's blowing hearts to me.

The Big Boy Update:  My son cracked his iPad screen quite badly this morning.   I have to say, for all the time he carries it around with him, it's impressive it's gone this long without breaking or being dropped.  He knows he'll have to pay to repair the screen.  He's okay with that.   He didn't even grumble.

Why Do I Apologize?

I don't know why I apologize so much.   I remember when I was working one of the very first jobs I had, present wrapping at Hudson Belk's, and how apologizing was brought to my attention there.  

There were lots of ladies I worked with, typically there would be three or four of us working in a row, with a line of people waiting to have their presents wrapped free of charge (for the basic wraps, there was a charge for the more exotic papers).   I would move behind the other ladies to pull off a section of paper from the huge rolls hanging on a vertical wall rack. 

In the course of moving back and forth or anything that might have happened in that small space, I would apologize.   They said I didn't have to apologize every time, that was just the working conditions and everyone understood as well as didn't mind.   I had a very hard time not apologizing for every little encounter though. 

I still apologize for everything.   I don't know other parents, including my own, who say they're sorry for not being there in the afternoon to do things with them, or lots of things I think I say to my children, mostly because I think I'm not being the parent I want to be.  I should be there more, be nicer, be firmer, be in less pain, be better. 

It's not something I should saddle them with but I also want them to know I'm trying.   I don't know if any of this is a good thing or a bad thing.   I figure something must be wrong with me if I'm the only one I know who does this.   Maybe I'm not alone.   My husband does a job good enough for the both of us, he really is a wonderful father. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter went to a birthday party for her next-door-neighbor.  She had other girls there who apparently didn't like my daughter.   That did not stop my daughter from going.   She found another person to be friends with and stayed late.   I talked to her about how those other girls wanted to be mature and grown up as opposed to being silly.   I told her that may be what middle school is like next year.  She said she's mature at school a lot.  I just don't want her hurt too much emotionally with this big school change where none of her friends are the same and no one understands her blindness.   She's tough, I hope she's tough enough.

The Big Boy Update:  My son got mad and didn't want to eat dinner with me because I told him he had to stop chewing on the metal tabs of the seltzer water cans.   It will tear up his teeth.   He doesn't care.  I was there once, I do understand not caring what your parents tell you.

A Teen Party In the Backyard?

I was lying down after while it was still light outside. Someone turned on the music outside, turned up the volume to a very loud point and put some sort of very dance music, heavy beat song.   The next thing I noticed was what sounded like twenty or thirty people at a dance club bouncing around my back yard.   Girls were laughing, boys were I assume doing what boys do at these club sort of events and in general there was a lot of loud, happy children that I suddenly realized were...teenagers.

But are they?   I have a twelve and eleven-year-old which makes them more tween than teens.   But there are friends they do things with that are teens and those friends have friends come over.   And we have the back yard everyone seems to want to come to. 

My son stormed in after a while saying, "the girls are being inconsiderate and rude.   They aren't sharing the trampoline at all!"   He was stopping the music and getting cross at the girls, who were not being bothered one bit by him.   

My son went back inside to play the new Zelda game after the lights went off and the girls went home.   It's not even summer yet, I wonder what fun we'll have in the backyard this year now that the pandemic seems to have abated for the most part. 

Fourteen Hours and Still Tired. Maybe

After I brought my daughter home from school yesterday I lay down because I was not feeling that great.   And by that I mean I was in pain and needed to lie down to calm down some of the things that were hurting. My intention was to get up in a few hours and do some work but I woke up at nine-thirty and still felt bad.  Possibly worse.   

So I went back to sleep, didn't write this blog post and didn't wake up until it was light outside.   I slept for fourteen hours and this morning I still felt pretty crummy.   But I got up, and I got moving around and I felt pretty good once I was up and taking the children to school. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son was so excited today because it's the release day for the newest Zelda game: The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom.  He is such a Zelda fan

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter was excited to go to school on Friday because it was Ottercise day in which they spent over half the day outside doing games with her friends.  

Interesting Appointment

Today was an interesting appointment.  The message keeps being that I'm being referred to another provider that happens to do the same thing they do.  I get different information from different people, and ultimately I don't want to be at a practice that doesn't want to have me as a patient.   

When I was walked back today by the tech, she took my weight and got me into the room to take my blood pressure, temperature and heart rate.   She said, "so I see you're going to be transferring to another clinic?"   Again, another person saying that information that is so surprising to me, because I haven't asked to be transferred.   I said that to my knowledge, I wasn't, but I am continually concerned because I've been told this on multiple occasions and I don't understand why they would be trying to terminate my care there.   

She backed down immediately and said she didn't know what was going on and that maybe that wasn't what was happening and she would let me talk to the doctor.   Then she told me my heart rate was high.  I said I wasn't surprised it was, because coming in her has been extremely stressful recently because I keep getting information about other clinics your office wants to refer me to for transfer.   She left hurriedly.  

I had a nice conversation with the doctor and he is saying they aren't trying to "get rid of me" there are some things in play though.   And I understand all of those things from a position other than looking at it from my own personal healthcare situation.   We will figure it out.   The good part is at this point the insurance company is working with them now so more people will be looking at it.   I hope that's a good thing. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter today wanted to play with the guinea pigs while we had them outside eating grass in the back yard.   She was not being kind to them. She wasn't intentionally being unkind to them, she was just wanting to interact with them in a way that I found not safe.  Jumping (even gently) on the trampoline with Cheerio, even though he is very understanding, is not okay.   I just worry about them.  They are so little and can get injured easily.   She would be devastated if she hurt one too, which also worries me. 

The Big Boy Update:  As of tonight, my son is now an orange belt at Code Ninjas.   That's a decent accomplishment.  He's been working on building his code writing skills for several years now.  He started with visual code builders but he's getting into the more complex things now.   I'm proud of him.  

Not Looking Forward to Tomorrow

I have an appointment with a physician tomorrow who is trying to get rid of me.   That might sound dramatic, but it's pretty much what is happening.  They tried to refer me out for something without telling me beforehand.  Fortunately when I balked, the PA called and explained what was happening—perhaps explained too much.  

I asked the following month for more clarity and explained my confusion.   I had gotten a call at that point from the other physician's office and had talked to someone very understanding with a lot of knowledge.   Unfortunately, they didn't take my insurance.   I could come self-pay, which given that they're a specialist, was high.   She said it didn't mean my insurance wasn't covered, they just didn't file with them. 

My doctor's office followed back up and I explained the lack of medical coverage at the other office.   I got another phone call later saying there were two other offices they could refer me to in that case, and they both took my insurance.    "For what am I being referred?" I asked.    For the same thing as I was seeing them, which I said.   I asked if they were trying to discharge me?  Oh no, they assured me.  

So then I asked if my doctor had had a specific conversation with the doctor at these other two locations to confirm that they would be able to help me, or, was this just two other clinics that my insurance took?   She didn't know.   "I think I'd better ask the doctor about this in that case.  Let's make sure I have an upcoming appointment."   She didn't even want to do that.  

I haven't done anything wrong.  There is nothing wrong with me that's outside the scope of their practice.   They aren't even admitting they want to transfer me to another clinic that does the exact same thing as they do, for the same reason I'm seeing them.   "Oh no, you would still come to us."  For what? I asked, because you're referring me to them for the reason I see you here.   What would I see you for?  "procedures" was the answer.   "And do these other offices also perform those same procedures?"  yes, they do.   Hm, so what exactly makes this look like you're trying to discharge me through finding another medical provider to take me?

I called my insurance to discuss it.  Unfortunately, I can't even self file with this other doctor they originally were referring me to, which would have been a good option, I had to agree.   The insurance person said, "They can't just do that.  We need to open a grievance and investigate."   I am supposed to go tomorrow and say we're working on things from the insurance side of things.   

I don't want to be seen by an office who doesn't want to see me.   But I'm not going to just be handed off to another doctor without understanding why and making sure where I go won't have the same issues. 

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Wrestling Late Night:  It was 10:45PM when I went upstairs to check on the guinea pigs and found my son and daughter doing some sort of wrestling on the floor in the bonus room—whilst holding a guinea pig.   I sent my son to bed, told my daughter to kiss the guinea pig goodnight and then get to bed herself.   We are getting to the age where they just do not want to go to bed early, but then are tired in the morning.  

What's The Point?

My daughter had choir practice tonight.   She was not excited about it, citing it as, "boring."   This is a word that is black listed in our house.   It gets used, we just give them pushback.   There are plenty of things that will keep a bored person not bored for the foreseeable future.  What I think my daughter meant was she'd had enough of choir for the week. 

She had dress rehearsal on Saturday, concert on Sunday and now another rehearsal on Monday—but this time it's to prepare for their trip to Busch Gardens, and that's a place my daughter wants to go, because there are roller coasters!

And that sparked a conversation with her: what does she go to choir for?  Is it the practices where they're learning the songs?  Or is she looking forward to the performances?  Or something inbetween.   It's hard to say practices are boring if you don't like to rehearse for the concerts.   But if you aren't going to go to the concerts, are the practices just boring anyway?

She came around to the conclusion that all of the parts are good, just too many days and too much in a row is not good. 

The Big Boy Update:  For Five Minutes—my son lost screens with his friends for the entire week.  We heard him dash across the carpet to find the iPad and take it upstairs.   He fell asleep almost immediately after getting it.   But that didn't decrease the punishment.   He still is unable to weigh the impact of one decision against the result that will happen if he gets caught—and he's caught a lot. 

Trees: Save or Remove?

We went over to the lot today to look at the current placement of the long driveway that will get to the house will be.  My husband and I walked through the entire driveway path and around the marked perimeter of the house  (spray paint on the ground and bright ties on the trees or branches.   

There are a lot of old growth trees.   I didn't want to take any down at first, but we'd need to build a tree-house to avoid tree removal altogether.  We talked about what we can shift a bit here or there to save a large tree.  But that brought up other questions. 

If a ninety-foot tree is saved but his peers around him are gone, hoe does that affect it?   What about if the elevation of the land changes there?  If it's three or five feet lower the tree can't drop down with the surrounding land. If it's a higher space then the ground around the tree would have to be raised up.  The additional weight to the roots may cause a problem.  

The trauma underground of losing peers for an elderly table has consequences I wouldn't have thought about until they explained it.  Now, it makes complete sense.  

The Tiny Girl Chorus:  My daughter performed in the spring concert today and they all sounded beautiful.  There are three levels of the chorus, going all the way through high school.  Her friend, Grace, decided she didn't want to go anymore, but my daughter says she wants to come back next year. 

The Convenient Childcare:  My son does get very angry if he has to get off screen when he thinks he is entitled to them (every single hour of the weekend, including dinner and walking around with it.).  This is not the case, but my son is trying hard to push back on anything and everything that involves a break in screen time.   We're trying, but we're also busy and they're in their rooms doing things or getting food or even spending time down here with us.   It's not a terrible thing.   He just needs to learn what moderation is. 

So Rude!

Something was up with my daughter today.  She was happy to go to the choir rehearsal today which was long but included lunch and dessert.   Tomorrow is the concert where they will do a song that has sign language in it that she absolutely did not want to do, but she decided she did and she's learned it although that's been hard from the start. 

Today after the rehearsal, I picked her up and then we went to pick up her friend Grace who is also blind.   I don't know what was happening because she was very self-centered and self-focused.   She loves the guinea pigs and feeding them but for some reason she left and went to her room, saying she was bored and she didn't know it was going to be so looooong Grace would be feeding them vegetables. 

I went to have a word with her and had some stern words at that.  She came back into the bonus room and told Grace I said she had to go home.   I said that wasn't what I'd said and made sure Grace didn't think I was saying bad things about her.  What my daughter was doing was making me look bad and calling me a liar.  I got them playing again but those were only a few of the issues I had with her during the three hours Grace was over.

When Grace left, I told her she was grounded.   She had right at the end shoved by Grace and me because she wanted to pet the guinea pig too, which disrupted the quiet petting Grace had been doing, ruining it for her.  My daughter insisted Grace was done petting Cheerio and several other things that made no sense, but she insisted I didn't know what I was talking about.   So I said she could go to her room and write an apology for her behavior.   And not a short one.  

She came downstairs not that long later and read out to her father and me a well-written, point for point  apology that showed she knew exactly what she had been doing.   I asked her if she could tell me why she had been so impolite to her good friend, Grace.   She didn't know, she said.   I believed her.   I wish I could have helped though.   I hate when she's upset or angry. 

The Big Boy Update:  We all had to leave close to eleven this morning—all except my son.  Just like a teenager (which he will be in a half year) he is sleeping well into the day on the weekends. 

ChatGPT Taking Over

I don't feel like it's taking over, but it is so very interesting how useful it has become.   I'm hearing stories daily of how ChatGPT has helped someone.  For instance, my producer runs his wording by ChatGPT for tone and level of professionalism depending on who he's sending the letter to. 

I have another 3D printing friend who was going to ask me for some advice on how to work with a filament company and any contractual things I should suggest.    In the end he didn't ask me at all.  He asked ChatGPT.  

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Mean People:  My daughter is a pest sometimes.  She really wants to play with the boys when they're over and they do humor her some, but she gets so annoying and it bothers my son to no end.   He says very mean things to her about being blind and other hurtful things.   They both hurt each other's feelings.   I don't know what it's like because I never had a sibling.   I don't like it though. 

Not Like the Others

I've been catching up with another content creator today.  I had a question I thought he might have the answer to (he did) and it sparked one of those, "we haven't talked in ages, how are things going" conversations.   

He's fine, he had an update on their son, who had similar sorts of behaviors like our son did when he was younger.  They have made progress with getting their son some support at school.   I updated him on how our lives were going and the we got into technical things. 

I have tools I need to investigate now, one specifically called a "Mind Map" which apparently he uses to build all of his video scripts with.   I have a video I need to create that is more complex so a mind map might be the ticket. 

We talked about how our relative success was going with our social media.  Success mostly meaning are we being successful with generating the kinds of content we want to create and are people finding the information valuable?  Which rolls into growth, and are we seeing the growth we had hoped for or expected?

We broke off and talked about other content creators.  Two people specifically who are my friends now, that I have met and spent time with.  People who are the nicest folks you could meet, who are also very, very successful in social media.   Millions of followers and subscribers.  One of them has over five million now and he continues to conquer platforms and build a following in lighting time.   

My friend and I talked about that.  Were we jealous?  What did they have that we don't have?  We know the answers and we're okay with it.   They are generating formulaic content that is targeted at entertainment, not education or sharing of information about products or other things in the 3D printing space.   They play to the algorithm and it works very well for them.   

But it's not what we want to do personally.   It sounds tempting, but when you find out less than one percent of the followers do 3D printing whereas the majority of your followers do and it's not even a consideration.   I want to make content for 3D printing, not to entertain random people.  

He and I decided we liked where we were, with our much smaller audiences

The Big Boy Update:  When my son's friends come over he is SO LOUD.  HE YELLS EVERTHING AND IT FEELS A LOT LIKE THIS.   I don't know why it works that way in his head but he is one loud child. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has to finalize the motions on the sign language song tonight.  I have to finish this and then go teach her the last bits and see if I can get her to do the other parts more in line with how a sighted person would move through the motions.   She is trying though.  I'm proud of her.

Not As Exciting

I'm tired.  I'm still three posts behind from the weekend at RMRRF and I just want to go to sleep. 

My daughter was excited to tell her friends and teachers about making it to the Braille Challenge nationals.  When she got home she wasn't that excited anymore.   It wasn't a bad thing, I think she just realizes it's the same thing, second year.   Everyone was happy, but it wasn't ecstatic like it was last year. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is NOT having the learning of sign language for the song she'll be preforming this weekend.  She has fought me all the way and I'm having to fight back because everything she's saying is to say she doesn't need to know that, already did it, she did that once already, on and on and she really does need to practice.   She's getting there, though.

The Big Boy Update:  My son is doing toddler walking this week.  He started at the school eleven years ago as a toddler and was walked in by the Upper Elementary students.  Now he's walking the toddler's in and soon he'll be graduating to middle school.   He is maturing.   And growing.   It can't have possibly been that long ago that he was born?

Braille Challenge Finalist, Year Two

I got a phone call from the LA area today and answered it without hesitation because I suspected I knew what the call was.  My daughter has made it to the Braille Challenge finals again, which is one amazing accomplishment followed by another. 

I gave the person calling the time my daughter would be on the way home as my husband was on the way to pick her up.   She was so excited.  So very excited.   I'm very proud, and excited for her too. 

Out Of Control

I'm at an odd point in my life.  I don't think I've ever felt so out of control of things before.  I remember when I first started working at IBM as a co-op I had a hard time because I had things that were being added to my list of things to do.   I got to the point where I couldn't do them all with the hours I was working.   My manager met with me and told me something that was so foreign to me at that I never forgot it. 

He said that my workload may change over time and I'll find that I'm not able to do everything.  At that point I would evaluate everything and decide what thing or things I would decide to not do so that I could focus my time on the other things.   

Not do something you were told you had to do?  That made no sense.  That wasn't how things worked.  You were told to do something and you had to do it.  Things weren't optional.  But his advice made sense when I thought about it later.  There were "busywork" sorts of things I'd been given to do until I was up to speed with the project and could do more meaningful work.   At that point, there was no benefit to doing the other work, which benefitted only me from an educational standpoint.  

I find myself in that position a lot these days.   The frustrating thing is I'm already eliminating all the things I feel I can plus I'm not able to get to a lot of things I really want to do that will build my knowledge which will payoff in the long-run. For now, I keep thinking some day I'll get caught up.   I'm starting to wonder if that's going to happen when I'm a grandmother. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son could have gone to the beach for an overnight trip with his friend from school.  He didn't want to because he would be away from screens.  He didn't say this, but we suspect it.  He said he'd been away the entire last week and he just wanted to be home. 

The Tiny Girl Terror:  My daughter is reckless and cautious at the same time.  She had Kix on her shoulder and was running down the front, wooden stairs today.  It scares me to no end when this kind of thing happens because it could be the death of one of our guinea pigs.  Tonight she handed one off to me and we did a clumsy transfer.  Cheerio fell four inches and landed on his side on the metal grid wall, fell forward and  hit the hard desk and then bounced on the carpet.   She and I screamed and I got him and he made a strangled sound.   My daughter was terrified for a few minutes. I had to calm her down and let her hold Cheerio to be okay about his fall.   I told her that was minor and we'd been very lucky, because running down the stairs and one falling to the hard floor from a shoulder could be very bad indeed.   I think I got the message across. 

I Was Going To Sleep In...

But I woke up and made the mistake of getting out of bed early to do "just one thing" at seven in the morning. It is now midnight, and I'm tired, and I don't think I've sat down to take a break.  This means at this point in the day (or night), the Guinea pigs are clean, their cage has had its weekly overhaul, the children have done things with us, and we've gotten a video ready to release tonight.   

I think most of those things have happened.  I was trying to get caught up on my blog posts from this past weekend.  I've finished Friday, but I'm still missing Saturday and Sunday.  I'll get there.  I remember what I want to say.  

The Tiny Girl Pet Caregiver: my daughter wanted to wash the Guinea pigs tonight.  While she waited for us to be finished our video, she relocated a lot of the cage internals to our bathroom.   She helped me wash them and then decided she was too tired to help clean everything up.  She was a real help, though, and they definitely needed their lower halves cleaned. 

The Big Boy Update:  I wrote this down when my son said it, and he got mad, thinking I was going to be picking on him in the blog.   I had a hard time convincing him that I thought what he said was very clever, and I wanted to share it.  He said this afternoon while he was looking out the windows in our backyard.  

"There are too many deciduous trees here."  His grandfather was a scientist and loved botany.   I see him in my son.   

He's Home

I have really missed my son.   I left for RMRRF, and while I was gone, he left for Acadia National Park with his Upper Elementary class.   He was scheduled to come home late evening tonight, but as things tend to happen, they were delayed.    He's in now, and I'm happy he's home. 

He doesn't smell like my son.  That might sound odd, but he doesn't smell like he normally does.   He smells like a great aunt's house.  I don't have a great aunt that I'm referring to, but this smell is how I imagine it would be if you had a great aunt that wanted to have you over for the summer vacation.   It's not a bad smell, it's just a musty, older house smell.   Some people love the mystery of old houses.  And I have to admit, the times I spent with my grandmother over the summer were interesting times indeed and the smell was part of what made it so memorable. 

The thing my son said when he got home though.  The bit that was so heart-warming, was after I'd calmed down the bouncy jumpy dog who was just beside herself with happiness he was home was the first words my son said to me as I sat on the floor, hugging him.   He said, "I want to play video games."   It just melts a mother's heart. 

The Grown Up Girl Chronicles:  Aunt A sent some adorable stuffed guinea pigs for my birthday.  Their names have been up in the air until recently when they have been settled upon.  This is not unlike what we went through when picking Cheerio's name.   The new siblings are Trix and Fruit Loop.