Getting Past the Sentence

My son takes Adderall for school.   He doesn't particularly like taking it, but it helps him focus for school and he absolutely wants to take it then, although that's the only time. One thing that happens to him is he has a very low appetite.   He eats very little for lunch at school.   Usually, he's ravenous when he gets out of school but this year so far he hasn't been hungry until dinnertime. 

One of the other things that happen is the thought process, while very focused, is not straightforward when he verbalizes his thoughts.   My son is articulate, speaks clearly, and is very easy to listen to.   He has complete thoughts he can explain easily and without difficulty.  However, when he's first out of school and the Adderall hasn't worn off for the day, he has a challenging time getting his thoughts out without repeating himself.  

It's as though he's thinking at a different rate than he's speaking.   Sometimes you want to just finish the sentence for him.   He knows what's happening and it frustrates him just as much.   It's worth it for him to be able to focus at school to get his work done—which he is excelling at. 

Today in the car on the way home, my son was trying to explain something and he couldn't get the sentence out.   He said, and I thought this was a very good way to explain it, "I'm sorry, I just can't get past this sentence."  

The Big Boy Update:  As we rode home from school today my son said, "I'm in a very good mood.   For some reason I want to give a hundred dollars to charity...and then buy a new gaming mouse."

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Shelia, the massage therapist, came to the house today.   My daugher has been really enjoying it and looks forward to her coming.  Today, after my son had had a turn she said if I didn't want to have a turn, could she take some more of the time?   I said sure. 

Fidgets, Again

My husband is watching a show on Flat Earthers and as much as I try, I continue to be distracted by the things being said around the corner of the room from where I'm typing.   But let's see if I can get this post written. 

My daughter has a neighborhood friend, Ashley, with who she loves to play.   She asked if she could come over and play today.   She had a lot of reading to do, so she set to work, well reading with her fingers, and got done in time for Ashley to come over in the afternoon.  

She asked if Ashley could bring her collection of Fidgets over, something that's all the rage.  The two girls had a huge amount of fun today, despite my son's attempts to intervene, and at the end of the day, my daughter had an entirely new collection of Fidgets.  

What had happened, I asked her?   She said they had traded.   She was happy to have let go of some of her items and had gained some new things.   Next weekend, they want to meet again.  And of course, my daughter would like to get some new fidgets in preparation with her saved money. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son spent the entire weekend in pajamas I believe.   I can't say as I blame him, I like spending the majority of the weekend in my pajamas too.   COVID-19 has been bad on so many levels, but it has brought back pajamas as primary clothing that's acceptable, even in the yard. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter just might finish reading her book in time to write her report before presenting on Friday.   I hope so because the last project she was behind on upset her very much.  

Stomach Troubles

My son vomited yesterday morning.   Any type of illness these days, even if the symptoms aren't common for COVID-19, is suspect.   My husband took my son for a test but we had little to fear because, within the span of two hours he was not only fine, he was eating ravenously and had no additional symptoms at all.   

We chalked it up as a fluke, possibly food-related.   Today after dinner though, just after devouring a bowl of Mexican food, suddenly my stomach went nuts as I was eating dessert.   I'm still feeling bad an hour later, but not overly nauseated.   With COVID-19, not an issue, what illness takes two hours to run its course?

Hopefully, the Mexican and ice cream just weren't playing together well in my stomach.   I'm heading to bed anyway.

The Big Boy Update:  My son is 100% fine.  He's just glad he can spend time with his friends again outside. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I got three hours of sleep last night.  My daughter wanted to show me how she made her bed and when I lay down with her and the dog, she tried to let me fall asleep because she knew I was tired.   And I did.   She was very sweet. 

The Visits

My children went to visit my parents, Mimi and Gramps, recently.   My mother made sure each of their trips was packed with fun things to do.   When they returned she sent me a summary of all the things they did over the four days each of them spent with their grandparents.   Here's a list, so that someday when my children are older, they can look back and remember all the fun they had in the mountains with Mimi and Gramps during the summer of 2021 as written by my mother.

My Son's Adventures:

Tuesday

- Arrive in Blowing Rock at lunch time

- Roast Beef Sandwiches and corn on the cob for Lunch

- Mystery Hill with dad

- Mississippi Roast for dinner

- Heavy rain. Stayed inside, played Scrabble and read

Wednesday

- Shoppes on the Parkway to get school outfit.

- Ate Kilwin's ice cream.

- Played soccer with a family friend at Shoppes on the Parkway

- Ate lunch at Sunny Rock.

- Went to Broyhill Park.  Fed the ducks.  Found a nest.

- Lost a tooth.  Put in a plastic bag to take home.

- Read books and played Scrabble.

Thursday

- Zip Lining at Whistle Pig Sky Valley at 12:00

- Ate lunch at home.

- Marlene and John visited and brought gifts

- Dinner at Moon with JoAnn

- Read books and played Scrabble

Friday

- High Gravity with dad

- Back to Mystery Hill for Tomahawk Axe Throwing event

- Rode Bull Riding Challenge

- Departed for home, 4:30

My Daughter's Adventures:

- Broyhill Park, fed ducks

- Dinner at Egg Rollin' at Shoppes on the Parkway with JoAnn

- Horseback Riding with Tim Vines, Alex and Otoe the horse

- Lunch, Famous Toastery

- Visits by Cara, Marlene and John

- Paddle Boats, Chetola

- Zoom call with friends

- Bought headbands and belt at Shoppes on the Parkway

- Read book at beadtime re King Arthur, Queen Guinevere, Gold Dragon

- Lunch at Famous Toastery with dad

- Left for home about 3:00

Thanks for such a fun and memorable trip, Mimi and Gramps.  Both children are ready to come back tomorrow or any time in the future!

A Little Crooked

I've noticed in the videos I've been making that the first joint in my index finger is bent as though I had arthritis.   I don't feel like I have arthritis, but the joint does seem rather stiff.   I don't know if it would be painful or not, I have no pain in that particular part of me.

I think it would look more natural if my finger weren't bent though, so I've been stretching it, which will be futile if it's not something that's recoverable.   I'm going to try for at least a bit to see if it's posture or degeneration though. 

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Hurt Feelings:  My son said something tonight that basically said my daughter couldn't do something, "because she might hurt it" which upset her.   For the first time that I remember, she stood up for herself and tried to compare to my son what it might feel like if someone said something to him that had the same meaning.   He didn't want to hear it, saying he didn't mean it like that (I question that statement though) but we required him to.   It's tough, not being able to do things because you can't see and then being told you're not allowed to do things simply because you might hurt something because you can't see.   I was on my daughter's side, even though I'm guilty of telling her she can't do something without, "a tour" of the thing so she won't bump into and hurt herself or also, yes, damage something.   I suppose we could all be a little more sensitive.  

So Hot

It's that time of year that seems like summer should be over and the days should be getting cooler.   Only we have a good long while before we'll see any relief if all the past years of living in the south have anything to say about it.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son hasn't been wanting to go to Code Ninjas after his favorite instructor left but after today, he's decided he wants to keep going.   He's learning Java Script now, which is pretty exciting considering he's ten-years-old.  

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  It was raining after school. My mother-in-law came in after dropping my daughter off.  She and I chatted for a few minutes and then we realized she was outside in the steady rain, on her bicycle.  She is fearless.   

So Strange

I always hated what I would hear my voice on the tape recordings we would make when I was young.  The recording quality of the Tandy cassette recorder may have been questionable, but at the time, it was high-tech to my friends and me.

I had heard the reason we sound so different is that we hear our voices differently inside our heads and when we hear a recording, it just sounds wrong to us.   I thought that made a lot of sense.   Only as time went on and recording devices got better and more accurate, that level of, "I don't sound like me" went away.   

Of late I know this more because I hear myself recorded a lot.  We put out three main videos each week and I'm doing other videos in-between.  For everything that gets released, likely fifty times more has been recorded—which is a lot of listening to yourself recorded. 

It's strange though, hearing my voice coming out of my husband's computer as he works on the video or his phone when he's looking at it once posted.   And when I go into the social platforms to respond to the comments I hear it from my phone.  I'm getting used to it, but it still is uncomfortable. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son had a very good first day of school.  He is looking forward to the school year with his new teacher.  He got in the car and wanted to continue the work he had in his lap that he didn't have time to finish at school.   He sat down with his snack and kept working for the next while, telling me about this first day and the work plan he was making, and his idea of doing it in code like he does at Code Ninjas.   He said he might want to be a programmer when he went to college.  Maybe.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has a large reading project she is not reading enough hours for.  The latest is it will be a shorter, different, book.   But she's still got to get working on it or she will be out of time and will be upset at herself because she didn't complete the assignment in time. 

Fifth and Fourth

Tomorrow my son will finally admit to being a fifth grader, or "fifth year" as they call it at his school.   It will likely be the last year he'll go to the school he's known since he was eighteen months old.   Last year he said he never wanted to leave, but now, even before school has started, he's telling us he's ready to move to a new school next year. 

I think this in large part because most of his friends are or will be going to other schools.   He doesn't want to be left behind, even if it would mean he'd be one of the senior members at his current school.   For a long time, I was worried he wasn't going to understand how to socially interact with people in a positive way.   Now, I think he has friendship down, with friends from all around the houses in our neighborhood coming over, knocking on the door, and asking if he can come out to play.  

The Big Boy Update:  Today, my son and husband got his supplies ready for school tomorrow.  At this point, my son knows what he needs much better than we do.   He manages his own work at school and has been coordinating his weekly schedule of work with his teachers for several years.  He knows all the materials we should buy and for what class they'll be used.   He's ready for school tomorrow.  I think he's looking forward to being back and seeing his friends. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I forgot we moved Chelsea to Monday's for music therapy.  She and I moved the calendar around so many times we both have been messaging to make sure the other one didn't have another conflict and if so, what day would work for the upcoming week.   When Chelsea arrived today, my daughter didn't get mad, even though she didn't know ahead of time, she answered the door and went upstairs with Chelsea, talking all the way up the stairs.  

Forty Characters at a Time

My daughter's very expensive machine that generates braille dots was lost.   Or perhaps misplaced is a better term.   It is about the size of a fat, wide tablet and its main job is to take words from a Bluetooth connection, website, file, computer, etc., and give the content to her in braille.   There are buttons and a switch, but the buttons are few and the screen is nonexistent.   The only output on the whole device is a row of forty braille cells. 

Think about that for a minute:  We have computer screens, televisions, tablets, phones, displays in our cars, signs at restaurants plus many, many more locations that give us digital information a large amount at a time.   Blind people see with their fingers.   Anything on any of those screens could in theory be shown on her refreshable braille display, but since her input devices are her two index fingers, she can only take in the information as fast as her fingers can parse it.

So her Mantis was lost.   She hadn't been using it and it sat around at our house because her main teacher left on short notice last year.  Then there was the whole distanced learning situation.   At the end of last year, my daughter had a one-month break for summer, which was barely more than her quarterly break.  So when she was back and her new VI teacher asked where the Mantis was, well, confusion ensued. 

Long story short with a sudden move of the very full VI room, us not sure if we turned it in at the last year with her braillist going out for hip replacement surgery and my daughter adamant she had turned the Mantis in, we didn't have it.   We hoped they had it.   They said they didn't have it.   But they found it, which is the only thing that matters and we all collectively took a sigh of relief.  

So now my daughter is reading a 254-page book, forty characters on one line at a time.   Her fingers are getting tired, but she is building stamina with her fingers.   She doesn't want to develop pads, because she needs the sensitivity, but she needs to have enough tactile tolerance to be able to read more than a half-hour at a time. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son slapped his sister.  He didn't like a situation that didn't involve him but he got in the middle and hit her.   He knows it's wrong and when we were discussing it with him he slapped himself several times saying he hated that he did that but he didn't know how to control it (his anger.).  He is working on it but it's very hard for him. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter had an unexpected play date today with Ashley, her friend from around the corner.   Her mother had had a procedure and needed her out of the house for a while so she could rest.  Next weekend we hope to have her back for more outdoor play.   She and my daughter get along so very well. 

Not Two AM

For the first time in a long time, my husband and I finished the "Story" video we put out on three times each week.   We start eariler, plan ahead, decide to do more straightforward models and less complex videos.   But it still takes a long time.  

We add more things to the videos, which make them more fun or interesting.   I add additional variants to the models or other, related models because it will help make the filament more interesting or better to see print.   Sometimes we just come up with things that sound like a good thing at the time but turn out to be much more complicated than we anticipated. 

This isn't a bad thing overall, aside from the 2AM thing.   We tried today to get the video out before lunch, but there were about eleventy-twelve interruptions and/or complications between the time we got up and six o'clock when we had to break for dinner and then a movie with my in-laws who were coming over to watch it in the basement with us.  

We had gotten almost the whole video completed at that point so we were able to post...get this...before Midnight even.    And this is cause for celebration, which means I'm going to sleep early for a change. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son does not want to detox from video games, he told us.   Well, he didn't say that, he said he wanted to play video games and it wasn't fair.  He's starting school on Tuesday, so we said too bad, he wasn't getting on.   He told his friends, "I'll be back in an hour."   We tried not to laugh.  He wasn't happy when we did. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter decided to go home with Nana and Papa after the movie tonight.   The dog decided to go with them too.   The dog is always happy to go visit with Nana and Papa.   

Level Five

My daughter was very worried about the "EOG's" last year.   These are the End of Grade tests third-grade students take to see where they are educationally in math and reading.   She likely has a higher expectation for herself because she just happens to be in a class with students who are also doing well in school.   

Her first-grade teacher said at the last meeting with family and students before summer started two years ago that in all her years' teaching, she had never had a class who across the board was doing so well.   This is a good thing for my daughter because she wants to keep pace with her peers.  But it also put pressure on her because standardized tests are just pressure-inducing things. 

She was given an accommodation of extra time because it takes her longer to read than sighted children—something I think is going to be less of an issue as she does significantly more reading this year.  Watching her fingers fly over the braille seems quick, but when she reads aloud you can tell she's not moving at the same pace word-wise that a sighted child would be who's in fourth grade. 

An envelope came home with her on the first day of school with the results from the EOG's.   We went over it with my daughter because I thought it would be good for her self-image to know how well she did. There is a writeup for parents with the test scores stating basically that with the pandemic, education wasn't at the level it normally would have been and to take that into account when looking at your child's scores.  

With that in mind, I expected my daughter to do fairly well, but I wasn't going to be worried if she wasn't where she likely would have been if she had been in school with her braillist converting all her materials to braille and her VI teacher delivering in-person lessons including tactile materials to go with the concepts.  

Ohly she did well.   She did very well.   Scores range from level one to level five.   The first two levels indicate that you're behind and not on grade level.  Level three and four are considered On Grade Level with levels four and five are listed as, "On track for career and college readiness."    My daughter is being prepared for college even in third grade it would seem. 

How did she do?  For reading, the school, district, and state average in Level 3, with her school barely missing Level 4.   My daughter was well into Level 5 with the comment, "Your student's score is higher than 95% of third-grade students in the state."  So wow, yeah, she killed it.   

Math was similar.   She's in advanced math classes this year even though she thinks she's bad at math.   The school, district, and state again were in Level 3, but much lower down and surprisingly, her school was much lower than the state or district.   My daughter made it to Level 5 just barely with the comment, "Your student's score is higher than 87% of third-grade students in the state."   

When we told my daughter we said it was important not to talk about the scores with her classmates.   We weren't sure if we should be sharing them but we wanted her to know she did well (since she worried about it excessively last year) but it would be sad if she told other children and they didn't do as well.   How would that make her feel if someone said to you they got better scores than you did.  She understood.   I'm glad we decided to tell her the results.  It was nice seeing the smile of accomplishment on her face.

The Big Boy Update:  My mother called today to say my son was on the iPad.   She tried so hard to keep him occupied so he wouldn't want to do screens.   I told her that was quite the accomplishment.   He is on screens here.   He is managing his time appropriately so we're letting him have more time this summer than we will when school starts next week. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is really into the hoverboard these days.   There is nothing holding her up.  She's standing on a moving platform with wheels.   She could topple over in the street and hurt herself at any moment.   But I have to let her live her life.   So I just watch and hope all will be fine.   Bandaids on standby. 

Queen Savanah

My daughter likes drawing, although it's difficult because she does it without being able to see what she's already drawn on the page.  Keeping her place has got to be such a challenge.   She's getting more legible with her writing.  For instance, today during music therapy when Chelsea brought her two-year-old daughter, Ella, my daughter drew this about the things they played during the session.  

The first is a castle, which is brown.   She doesn't understand that she's drawing over her own words as she knows that colors can be underneath words on pictures.  It's a hard thing to explain.   This castle has "Queen Savana", "Princes Ela" and "King Chelse"

This picture has a chicken at the top with the word chicken below it.   The chicken isn't the air so much as in the yard and this is an overhead view.   The castle is labeled and the king has a crown on.  His head has come off, which is what she meant to draw, interestingly.  I didn't get the details.   Ella, is over to the left and there is a bug flying she's looking at.   Not bad for not being able to see what she's drawing. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son decided he didn't want to call to talk to us while he is with Mimi and Gramps, because he wants it to be a surprise when he gets home.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is reading a long book for school.   The main character was complaining about school and said, "school doesn't help with real life."  My daughter said to me, "she's totally right!"

Massage

We have someone come to the house to give the children and me massages.   It was recommended by our play therapist, Dhruti.  Reese really likes having a massage for a half-hour or forty-five minutes.   It helps her relieve stress and let out some of the tension she's holding inside, especially as she works through the anger and frustration she has with being bling.  

Her blindness is something she accepts some days while other days she's furious about.   She doesn't want to be blind.  But she also doesn't know what it would be like to see as all memory of sight has faded now.   I don't think there are any options that will return her sight.  Her eyes are far too damaged and weak from the malformations she has in them. 

She does love the massages though.   We have a massage gun tool thing.   It can dig into tight muscles and work out the toughest of knots.   When Reese has something bothering her, she will go get the massage tool and try to work it out herself.   If we're around we'll help her. 

Her favorite thing is to have her butt massaged though.   Which she finds funny.   It makes her laugh because it's just an odd thing to have your butt wiggle like that.   

She asked me if there were places that gave massages and I told yes.   She said she wanted to go, and was disappointed when I told her they probably didn't massage children because of legal reasons.   She does like Shelia coming every other week and she said that would be okay for now, but if we could go togeher and get massages, she wanted to do so.   Typically we get our nails done together when she wants to do something with me.  Maybe I can find a massage company that would do a massage with us both in the same room like a couples massage, only a mother/daughter one.   She would like that. 

The Big Boy Update:  I don't think my son is homesick because he hasn't wanted to call ever since he got to the mountains with my parents. 

 bI was putting a big bag of dog food into the bin where I keep it for the dog.  My daughter asked if she could help.  I said it was tricky and I might make a mess of it yet, so I'd better do it this time.  She said, "If you ever need anyone to help, let me know, I'm really good at making a mess."

Tyres

I'm printing some filament made with "tyres" or tires as the company who produces the filament calls it, which is reasonable since the filament is made in Italy.   It's been challenging to find models that show off or showcase each filament for Filament Stories. 

I could print the same thing every video, which one person suggested early on.   I didn't tell him but I thought that would be frightfully boring.   I don't think I could even watch my own videos if they were all the same.   

The balance is finding something that works well with the filament, prints well, is interesting and/or fun, and is available for other people to download and print.   The model(s) don't have to be free,  but people commonly want to print the thing they see you've printed.   

All of that adds up to a lot of research and test printing to get what I hope will be just the right model for each video.   I printed all for fun in the past.   And while the printing is still fun, it isn't always what I would want to print.   What is fun is reading comments from people who are excited to either get the filament or print the models. 

Tomorrow, there will be a video using the tyre filament involving a miniature of the Tesla Cybertruck.   It should be a fun video if all goes to plan.  Currently, my print room smells like roadwork when you drive by and get that smell of tar.   It is not my favorite smell but it does seem like the filament is truly made of tires.   

The Big Boy Update:  My mother texted us and said she got my son to read by saying she would read at the same time.   It turned out he wanted to read his book to her.   How wonderful!

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is reading A Wrinkle in Time, one of my favorite books from childhood.  Her father is reading it to her as he's never read it either.   I came into the living room and say on the couch to listen to him read.   

It's Not 2AM Again

Nope, it's definitely not two in the morning.   It's 1:57am, which means if I want to get to bed before two, all I have to do is beat the world speed typing record and I can make it with ease.   Or write a short blog post.   I'm pretty sure it won't be the first option.

The Big Boy Update: My son came into my daughter's bedroom tonight where I was reviewing her homework with her.  He's going to Mimi and Gramp's house for a few days tomorrow and he wanted to give us both a hug and tell us goodbye.  He has been so very caring and sweet lately.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is fearless I tell you.   She found the hoverboard that has been sitting in the corner of the garage, pulled it out, and was learning how to balance and move around on it on the driveway today.   She can't see.  This is a moving thing she can fall off of and scrape herself up.   She was wearing a frilly dress that went down below her knees.   Fearless, I tell you.

Bruh

It would appear, "Dude" is no longer cool.   The word you need to use if you're in the cool kids' crowd, is "bruh."   We don't know the spelling but at dinner tonight that's the consensus we came to on spelling.  I hear my son say this word a zillion times per day and now he has infected his sister.  

Another word is "boieeeeeeeeeeeeeee".   It needs to be drawn out to that length to be used correctly.   My daughter and son played this game at dinner that is a variation of a game we've all played: who can sustain a sound the longest without taking a breath.   

The children were having a good time seeing who could win until their father got involved and beat them by a long margin.   We told them not to feel bad, that dad had the advantage of the largest lungs in the house. 

The Bg Boy Update:  My son was so sweet when we called Gramps for his birthday today.   He said, "I love you and I can't wait to see you and I hope. you'll show me some magic."   He's looking forward to his visit with my parents in two days. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter goes from being regulated to being completely out of control mentally.   My son has had some hard times and she has too.  She's older and can explain better what's happening in her head, but she's still holding a lot in.  I asked her today when the subject came up if she wanted to see.  She said she doesn't even know what it means to see.   So would she want to?  She wasn't sure.   And that's interesting because I think she really wants to be able to see.   But perhaps not for the sake of seeing, but more for the sake of being normal.   I don't really know though.   It was an interesting conversation though.

Out of Practice

I used to be very good at taking notes during the day of things my children would say or do that would make for interesting writing when I sat down at the computer at night to write.   I used to be diligent at making sure I had things to put here.  Lately, I've felt a little like that chicken who had her head cut off and was running around, not sure what to do because, well, she'd lost her head. 

Who came up with that saying?  It's a terrible a thing for a child to have to imagine.   It was confusing when I was young, what that might mean, so my parents explained it to me.   That only made the mental image more horrifying.   Whether it's true or not, about the chicken carrying on even without a head, the mental image is enough, thank you very much, I don't need to know more. 

So, what did my children do today?  After my daughter's fit from yesterday, she came downstairs all sweetness and light, centered again after having some time in her room to reflect.   She is having a very hard time with tone, barking at us and getting angry when we don't snap to and cater to her every whim.  I don't think we ever catered to her every whim, so I'm not sure how she thinks being commanding with us is going to work, but she hasn't given up trying—at least for now. 

Perhaps it's part of a growth phase.  Her brother, possibly not without coincidence, seemed to be similar in his attitude towards us close to a year ago.   It also got him nowhere and now he seems to have mellowed. Hopefully, my daughter will get the memo that being rude and commanding doesn't work to her advantage.   If she would only ask politely without whining or going into full martyr mode, I think she'd be surprised at the results. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son has been coming downstairs every morning and finding me so he can give me a hug.  A real hug, like he actually wants to hug me.  Even as I write this I have a confused look on my face because I don't know what caused the change over the child who hated anything even close to a hug.   But it's nice.   I tell him how much it means to me. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My children are at Nana and Papa's house tonight.  My daughter didn't want to go initially because sometimes she needs to be alone to recharge, and last time we made a mistake and sent her with a dead iPad and she didn't have anything to listen to.   Tonight, she has an iPad with a new audiobook.   I'm looking forward to when she can read fully contracted braille more easily.  That will open up the entire world of books to her and I think she's going to love reading. 

Request For Training

My daughter has one breast nodule starting to grow.  The second is on the way, I told her, not to worry.   And she hasn't been worried.  But she definitely is going through some changes.   I can see her body growing in ways that look like she's less of a little girl than she was not even that long ago.   There is time to go before she's not, "my little girl" and becomes, "my little lady" but changes are afoot, that's for sure. 

Her best friend, Keira, is several years older and has moved into further stages of puberty.   My daughter spends time with her and I suppose is getting advice from her as an older, more wise pre-teen.   It was therefore very cute when she came to me this morning and told me she wanted a bra, um, there was a name for it she said, but could she get one of those for, "my one boob?" 

I asked if she meant a training bra and she said that was what she meant.   I told her she had plenty of time before she needed to wear one, but if she wanted, we could get her one.   I told her they had all kinds of comfortable options but the main thing about the training was that it was a new piece of clothing in a place she'd never worn anything before and that was going to take some getting used to. 

I let her feel one of the athletic bras I had that was about the most minimal cotton option possible so she would know what shape she could expect.   She minimally felt it before she exclaimed, "it sounds awful." I didn't want to point out she was the one asking for a training bra.   I told her we could try one out tomorrow and see what she thought, but for now, she could just enjoy wearing no bra for another few years. 

The Big Boy Update:  I just passed on a message from my mother to my son, asking what vegetables he liked so she could have them for his visit.  I was rather proud of him when he replied, saying, "cucumbers, broccoli, zucchini, squash, yeah, just most vegetables."   My son is playing a game called, "It Takes Two" with his father while I write this.   My son is very authoritative, telling his father what to do, as though his father has no idea how to play a video game.   My son is good, but he's also good at getting himself killed.  

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter turned in her project today at school, but not unlike most children, they resent it if you ask how it went.   She had a very hard time when she got home from school because she thought she was being blamed for something no one thought she was doing.   We tried several times to explain that just because we ask questions about a thing, it doesn't mean she's being blamed.  It means we're trying to find something that's missing and wanted to know the last time she saw it.   She finally calmed down, but it took a good while.   Some days she thinks everyone is out to get her.  If she could see facial expressions and know we were being genuine, or I guess she can tell from the tone.   But it's hard for her sometimes. 

The Very Long Nap

Ugh, I just woke up from a "nap" that went for six hours.   It is nice that I got some sleep, which apparently I needed, but I missed dinner and It's now past midnight.   I think I'm going back to bed and I will write more interesting then because if I stay up any longer I might start drooling on the keyboard I've fallen back asleep on.   And no one wants to see that.   

Free Things?

We're starting to get offers from companies for products.  The big question I think is do we want the products?  I love filament, but I don't want loads of red, blue, black or white.   But some companies have lots of beautiful filament and it would be nice to have additional filament from them.    

But then there is the subject of printers.   I have a good number of printers.   I have more printers than I have room to put them.   Being offered a nice printer is, well, nice, but what would I do with it?  There are some very interesting printers being brought to market that would be interesting to investigate.  But my time is already so tight I have people I owe things I haven't even gotten to with the release schedule I set at the start of this Filament Stories endeavor—a release schedule I'm doggedly sticking to.

The schedule I have us on is intense, but I think it's worth it.   When I started writing this blog, once per day seemed a lot but after a while, it was just what I did.   The video making is going to become the same, although at this point it's a lot of work and we have so much to learn to get our videos to the quality level we need to be at.  

Back to the offer for free products   And that brings up the topic of expectations from the company offering any products for review or free. Companies have different expectations and I don't want to take on anything that doesn't work well with our current plans.  

So it's dilemma time.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son was very disappointed I didn't title my recent video with, "Face Reveal."  He said if I had, I would have gotten a lot of views.   I don't know that most people realized I'd never been on camera before (other than my hands) so I decided it was easier to just post the video and act like it was a standard release, even though I was panicked inside as I pressed the publish button. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter was home today as she had vomited several times last night.  We suspected it was stress, and today she admitted when she talked to us tonight that it was.   She has been having a difficult time with a friend at school—causing a lot of discord between them by challenging her to do things my daughter knows she'll win at.   So her friend started taking shots back at her.  My daughter admitted it was because she could see more than she could and that it wasn't fair.    I told her it wasn't fair. Her being blind would never be fair.   We talked about how to be a good friend and I think she's feeling better about her friend now.  

Sleeping in the Bathroom

My daughter isn't sleeping in the bathroom, but she's sleeping with something from her bathroom.   She and I were shopping and she found a soft bath mat and desperately wanted it.   The ones she had in her bathroom were circa before she was born so I said we could get one.   She had it on the floor of her bathroom for all of a day and then it was on her bed.  

I asked her why it was up there and she said it was her friend.   And that on her bed is where he belonged. Children are really interesting in how they become attached to certain things.   For my daughter, it could be anything, a blanket, a stuffed animal, and don't even get me started about the rock from Hawaii.   That rock will live on for years to come I suspect. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son seems to be going through a phase of, prepare yourself for this, niceness.   He's been nice to both his father and me.  And understanding, and he listens, and he doesn't complain.   Someone has clearly absconded with my son and brought in a robotic replicant. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter forgot to work on her homework project after school again today. She tried to pressure me into helping her when she remembered and then tried the hystrics tactic, but nothing worked.   She actually went to her room and was feeling sick from the stress of how she'd been putting the project off, not being interested when I offered to help and then when she finally remembered, she was so upset it made her feel sick.   I told her I was still going to help her, but that she needed to take initiative.  It was her project, not mine, and she was old enough to be responsible to get the work done. 

Oops

I’m in bed, about to go to sleep and I suddenly realized I didn’t write a post today.  I put up some content today that took me a long time to get done mostly because I did a whole lot of takes.  I got three hours of sleep last night and wow, I just forgot.  My brain is a little fried so tomorrow I will update, well, I’ll do an update of something I’m sure.  I hate when I forget to write a post.  

The Longest Playdate

My daughter has found a friend two streets over who is the kindest, most generous little girl.   Her mother is on the neighborhood board with my husband and they've talked about how much fun Ashley had with my daughter when they had seen each other in the pool.

Today my daughter had a play date that went on and on with my daughter.   They even went to the pool.   It was so wonderful for my daughter, having all that time to spend with someone her own age.   We're going to try and have Ashley over next weekend.

The Big Boy Update:  My son got home from an overnight trip to Nana and Papa's and ran downstairs to hug us.  It really made my day when he grabbed both of us and pulled us in for a three-way hug. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is not liking wearing socks.  I told her if she could hold on for just a few more days the scabs would heal and she would be okay to not wear socks.  This is to combat the scab-picking habit she admits she's recently started. 

Heartthrob Red Metallic

Whew, we worked late on another video which turned into two videos.  Here they are below.   The children are at my in-law's house for the night.  I'm crashing per usual after a long day of working on 3D printing things.   I really love it, but it is definitely a lot of work. 

Set

When I started Filament Stories I was fairly terrified of being online in some sort of public form.  Initially, we were going to present videos with no spoken words at all and just provide information about the filament as we showed some models.  Thankfully, I have some good friends who have large to huge social media followings and they gave me some advice: you need to be in the videos. 

We went with me speaking as a result and I'm glad we did because people have made a connection to the person talking and not just the models and filament.  It makes sense though, I watch lots of things online that I don't have any intention of doing personally, but the content is entertaining and for that reason alone, I watch them.   

It was easier though because I wasn't me so much as just a voice.   What I've resisted though is actually being in the videos as a person, which goes back to the whole terrified thing.   But the longer we do the videos and the more comments we get and the more things I think about that would be interesting topics to cover, the more I'm realizing I'm going to have to get in front of the camera. 

For the last two days, I've been working on what a "set" would look like.   I abandoned a whole collection of options while also realizing how very little I know about the new camera we have.   But I also learned a lot of things.  

So soon, I'm not sure how long from now, but fairly soon we'll be releasing longer-length videos on YouTube with more information about 3D printing things.   I have so many ideas.  There is so much to talk about.   But I'm hoping this different approach will be received as well as the filament stories themselves have been.

We'll find out if I can get on camera and not look like a deer frozen in bright light.   As long as I pretend no one is really there, maybe I can do it.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son's hair is so very long.  He's gone through phases of wanting it cut but then, the next day, he says he wants to let it keep growing.   It's adorably shaggy right now.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  The first week of school is over and my daughter is in a much better mood than she was at the beginning of the week.  I think she was very worried about how things would be with a new teacher, a new braillist, and a new VI teacher.   Almost everything changed on her.  The one good thing is all her friends are still in the same class.   That was a big comfort to her.  

Contacted

I heard this would happen, but I didn't think it would be this quickly.   There are companies asking to work with Filament Stories.   It's just interesting and I'm not sure how to handle it yet.   And that doesn't mean they want to fund us or do anything major, just collaborations.   But it's interesting that with the very small size we are (and we are vanishingly small in comparison to most of what's out there on the Internet) that it's happened already. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son has never been allowed to eat in the living room.   We have new furniture and he is comfortable on the new couch he swore to hate when we got rid of the old couches.   And he seems to want to eat and drink on it!

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has homework in the middle of August.  She isn't upset by having to do it, she is a conscientious student.   But from someone who was out of school every summer, it's an odd thing to be doing homework when it's not getting dark until after eight at night. 

The Dress

My daughter likes comfortable clothes.   She doesn't want to be in frilly or fancy clothes.   She far prefers things that feel soft and she can move around in with ease.   She also likes something even at nine years of age, that she can sit on the ground and get dirty in.  She has never minded being dirty.  I keep wondering when we're going to see a change where she wants to be clean, but so far, that hasn't happened.  

Only now, suddenly, my daughter wants to have frilly dresses.   Or maybe not dresses, maybe dress.   When she and I were shopping for end-of-season shorts because she'd grown so much during the warm months that her shorts were tight on her and they even looked uncomfortable for me to look at her in them.

So we're at Target and my daughter finds something that is soft and voluminous.   And she wants it.  I thought, "I know how this goes, she says she wants it because it feels nice but then won't ever wear it," so I shuffled her on to the next area of shorts that also were unavailable in her size.  

But when we got home she talked about wanting that dress, or any dress for that matter.   And I got a distinct impression that she really wanted to wear a dress.   She has no idea that her neighbor friend, Nora, wears dresses all the time.   They don't have physical contact really.  Maybe they've talked about it, but she hasn't mentioned how Nora wears dresses and she wants to wear one too.   But the desire is coming from somewhere. 

 Today, my mother-in-law got my daughter from school while my husband was taking my son to another activity and I was having an injection in my spine.  They went to Target and when they got home I was instructed to close my eyes and ears and...surprise, she had on a fluffy, soft, and silky dress.   And she is thrilled.   

Maybe I'll have a little dainty, delicate girl soon.   Okay, I could barely write that without laughing.  I love my daughter and her very practical ways.   But it was nice to see her in a cute little dress with a big smile on her face. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son found out today that the Sensei at Code Ninjas that he likes so much is leaving.   He's going to go to the goodbye party for him this weekend.   My husband suggested he model something and 3D print it as a goodbye gift. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I told my daughter if she really wanted to make her dress look extra nice, she could wear the tights she has in her drawer that she sometimes mistakes for pants and put on her ankle boots.   She thought it was a good idea.

Second Day of School

Yesterday was a hard day for my daughter.   There was a lot of rebelling and a lot of silliness and none of it made sense.  She was getting into more and more trouble and she wasn't backing down, even though she knew it was only getting worse.   I know defiance from her and believe me, she has a lot of gumption, but this was something else. 

At the very end of the night when she'd lost miserably and had lost so many privileges she had very little more to lose, she gave in mentally and told us about her day.   If she had told me in the beginning, things might have been different.  But when she got in the car from school she lied about multiple things, making it sound as though the day were very bad, and then said she was joking.   Which was a good thing, because some of the stories weren't good. 

We had a conversation about how she got accommodations for her visual impairment but that hers were not the same as her classmate, Aditi, because Aditi's needs and vision was different.   She was thinking she was being treated unfairly and her blindness was being used against her.   This is a common phrase with her, and I can understand her worry.  

She's talking about it though, which overall is good.  We talked about how Aditi getting to sit at the front of the class on the carpet was probably something Aditi didn't want to do, but she had to ask and had been told to self advocate so that she could see what the teacher was doing.  This wasn't being treated special just because she was the teacher's pet, and it was something Aditi probably would prefer not to have to do. 

There were other things but it was clear she was very worried about school this year.   Today in the car on the way to school things weren't much better.   But when she got home today boy were things a whole different thing.  My daughter was happy and giddy and she talked about school and I think, thankfully, she's going to really enjoy fourth grade. 

The Big Boy Tiny Girl First Night Out Event:  There is a bounce house and Kona Ice and other fun things over at the clubhouse for First Night Out.  My son helped with the sand bags to hold the tents down.   We're heading over now.  My daughter will probably spend the entire time in the bounce house and will be drenched from the rain by the time we leave. 

Reading Ahead

My daughter was reading to us tonight when I realized something: she has to read ahead to know what magnitude a number is.   We do this without thinking and I suppose sighted children have to do this when they first learn to read numbers.   It struck me though that she will always have to read ahead to the end of the number with her fingers before being able to start saying or understanding the number, even when it's in the thousands, like the numbers on this page:

The Coin Flip Unhappiness:  The children agreed to abide by the results of a coin flip today.   My daughter lost.   She did not like the result and threw a mournful, wailing fit.  The results were not changed.   When she insulted someone as a result, she lost social privileges for the rest of the day.   She was even more unhappy.   Sometimes, losing is hard.  

Where is Mom?

I woke up in the middle of the night and I was alarmed.   Mom wasn't there.   I thought about it, my husband had come to bed, so dad was there, but where was mom?  And then I thought about it.  Wait a minute, when was the last time mom had come to bed because I couldn't remember.   

Maybe she came to bed late, my husband did, but, no, I don't remember her coming to bed at all.   Which meant where was mom?   I started thinking more and I realized I didn't remember her around the house either.   The children's father, my husband, had been there and I was there, but where was mom?   I didn't remember her being there at all. 

I remembered my husband and me making the decisions and taking care of the children, but if we were doing that, where had mom gone to?   She was just gone.  And that wasn't right because I know the children didn't seem to be missing their mother. 

If this is all sounding confusing, it was to me too.   I had gotten mixed up in my head that my husband was the children's father, and my mother was my mother and somehow in the middle of the night I'm not sure what role in the family I fit into in my head, but my husband was "dad" and my mother was "mom" and she hadn't been around and no one seemed alarmed that mom just wasn't there.  

There was a strange sense of fear that no one had noticed this and no one was upset by it.   It was about this time that I realized my mother was *my* mother and not the children's and that is why she wasn't coming to bed because I was the mother and I was already there.  And as it always goes with dreams like this, I was very relieved. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son has been so kind to me lately.  I don't know what's going on, but he comes in and hugs me.  And not a little tap hug where he tries to keep the rest of his body away from me, but a real hug.   I don't know what changed, but it's nice. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter wanted me to get a recipe for her online yesterday for chocolate chip cookies.  I found a long article with the recipe at the bottom.  It explained all about why the different ingredients were in the recipe and how they made the cookies better or softer or why you needed to refrigerate the dough or have the butter melted and the eggs at the same temperature.   She read the whole thing and has been making the cookies with her father today.  they just came out of the oven and boy are they delicious. 

How is it that...

It's now one-twenty in the morning and I feel like I was meaning to get some dinner, after meaning to lie down for a bit, after meaning to get some lunch?   The days are really stacked here.   And tomorrow is the last day of summer for my daughter.   How that happened, I don't know either.  

The Big Boy Update:  My son had intestinal cramps worse than he's ever had them before, tonight.  He was moaning and holding his stomach for the longest time and then I thought maybe something hot would help, microwaved my shoulder heating pad thing and gave it to him.  He hugged it for five minutes and then looked much relieved, saying, "heat is very helpful."  It may have been the heat, but it could have been timing too.  Either way, I was glad he felt better. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I thought my daughter was excited to get back to school but today she lashed out at me saying, "I hate school.  The only reason I don't get in trouble more is I'm afraid to go to the principal's office."   I don't know if it was school impending or her being frustrated at me at the time, but I hope she's looking forward to school.   I do think she's looking forward to getting back to see her friends.