Do You Wish You Weren't Blind?

My daughter and I had some deep conversations tonight.  She was asked today by her friend, Grace, at the choir performance after the ice cream party how she became blind.   My daughter was so young, I really thought she knew, but she remembers only parts of things. 

She and I talked about it, and at the end, I asked her if she wished she wasn't blind.   I would have expected a quick answer of yes, but she thought for close to half a minute.   Then she said, "I think it's a good experience being blind...but it would also be nice to be able to see."

I said I thought it would be interesting for sighted people to be able to have a day like hers.   I then asked her about her vision and if it was getting better or worse or changing, and she gave me an answer I didn't expect.   She said she didn't use her vision often and mostly looked down.   She tried looking to see what she could see in the grocery store while they were in Florida, and she was able to make it all the way down the aisle. 

I told her it might be interesting to use her vision and see if she could start to learn some things from it.   I told her my own artificial lenses were that way: if I didn't work on the muscles to keep the ability to focus, I would lose some of the vision—until I started working on the muscles and training them again.   That's how artificial lenses work.  Because you don't have hardening of the lens, you're not subject to needing reading glasses as long as you keep the muscles in shape that are responsible for doing the focusing.   Mine needs some more work, I think. 

Then I asked her if she was okay with being blind or if she was angry or how did she feel?   Again, she thought about her answer.   She said after a bit, "when I was three and four, I was confused.  Then when I was five until I was seven, I was sad.  Then I was really angry.  Now, it's different.  Some days I'm okay, some days I'm not.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son was sick earlier.  He said his stomach hurt, and an hour later, he vomited.  He does not have COVID-19, but we're not sure why he wasn't feeling well.    We're not sure about school after vomiting, but it may be food-related and have nothing to do with illness. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter sang in the Capital City Girls Choir today along with the college choir at the chapel at the college I went to and grew up around.   I have some videos I need to upload to send to my mother.   She did a good job.  We even heard her voice carrying all the way to the balcony at two points in one of the songs.