Hiding

I have this blog.   It was a while before I was comfortable telling people about it.   It's still not something I advertise.   Then I foolishly went and created a podcast.   That was even more uncomfortable.  Now people would be not only hearing my words, but they would also be listening to me speaking them.  

Compound the uncomfortableness with a YouTube channel that also involves posts on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.   Suddenly I'm all over, "the socials."  People are hearing me and seeing, well part of me as I only have my hands in the videos.   But in this case, we're tagging companies, creators, and manufacturers. 

I'm telling people in the 3D community I know and their channels/groups/etc. about Filament Stories.   I cringe, cover my eyes, and press enter when I send a message about the new YouTube channel.   I don't think I would do this without my husband; he's been instrumental in so many steps along the way.   None of this seems to bother him.  I just want to hide. 

He tells me if there's been a subscription or subscriptions to the channel.   And that's the point in doing all of this, announcing it, and sharing it with people—to have them subscribe or like or comment.   But it is uncomfortable to me.  I love filament.   I love sharing that information and helping people understand what a great filament such-and-such from this-and-that company is.   I like sharing and being enthusiastic about things I'm passionate about.  

My ex-husband said one time that I don't like the limelight.   He said I'm like the ringmaster in the circus.   I introduce things, build up excitement, and then handoff with, "here come the clowns!"  I've always remembered the time he said that.  

I'm so excited about making videos showing off filaments.   I just want to sit in a corner and do that.  So far only a few people have subscribed, which is fine by me.   If only I could find the social media equivalent to the clowns to hand off to. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son admitted to me last night that he gets embarrassed a lot.  I told him it happened to me all the time when I was young.   I talked about when and why I got embarrassed and how much I hated the feeling.  I told him when he got older it would go away.   He was very interested that I got embarrassed.   I think he thought it never happened to me. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has made up so many games on the stylus of magnetic balls she keeps in the car.   We've played her version of Life and today we did variations on Tic-Tac-Toe, multiple of which involved singing as part of the game.   I had her take it into the VI room at school because it's been so interesting.   They hadn't seen it before and thought it could be helpful in things beyond games, like making bar graphs.  It was very inexpensive on Amazon so I ordered one for the VI room as an end-of-year gift from our family.