When Did I Change?

There are times in life when something happens that your brain isn't ready to accept yet.   I remember going into the halls of my high school and not feeling at all like a high school student.   It wasn't long before the thought of being a mere junior high schooler was far beneath my mental age and maturity.  

Later, the same thing happened when I went to college.   I think the difference from being single to being married was a much bigger one.   All the preparation of the wedding made no difference on the impact that was one day being single when the following day I was a "Mrs." with a husband.   I marveled over that simple change the entire honeymoon and it wasn't until probably a full year that my mental image in all ways was of someone who was married.   

Now I can't imagine being single I'm so ensconced in my mental image of someone who is married.   Parenting was another one that took a bit to get into, but not long.  You're so busy being a parent it happens pretty quick in your mind. 

What took a long time to become one with thought was being the parent of a blind child.   There was the complication that we had a child that was first plagued with a serious eye injury.   Her vision declined gradually even with heroic measures but we remained hopeful it was a temporary thing.    Eventually, when it was clear she would never regain her vision, it wasn't suddenly a single incident that classed us as parents of a blind child.   It was, rather, a lot of little things.

There are a lot of things that happen in life that we're not prepared for.   Many of them we're not equipped to handle.   But we're learning, adapting creatures and like countless other people on the planet, I muddled through it until I figured out enough to get by.  

Then at some point, suddenly I was.   Suddenly having a blind child, being a parent, being a wife and sometimes, on occasion, even acting like an adult, was just who I was.  

The Big Boy Update:  My son asked if he could have the iPad or my phone or something the other day, long enough to create and update some playlists of songs for playing on the outdoor speakers while they're outside playing.   He's got a good sense of music.   He reminds me of his cousin, Kyle. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter was frightfully upset that she wasn't allowed to leave the table after yelling at us, using angry words, complaining and wishing she could just go fold her laundry so she could go back outside.  I told her she wasn't going anywhere until we had polite conversation at the table for dinner.   She sulked until she realized I was serious.  Then, suddenly, her mood changed.