Blindfolded

I've been trying to reach my son.  Trying to get him to see we're not favoring his sister over him.   It's been hard to get through to him that some things we're just going to have to help her with.   For instance, if she drops something on the floor, we need to encourage her to find it for herself.   The skills she has learned to sweep in a pattern until she locates the item in a predictable pattern is a life skill for a blind person, not a punishment because we think she shouldn't have dropped the item.   And yet when the dropped thing has rolled far away, it seems almost unfair to have her look for a long time, only to get dejected at not finding it—especially when she knows everyone around her can see exactly where the thing is. 

My son believes we favor his sister in other ways.  Some of this is only coming to light now, but he believes we spend more time with her.   In a way, he's right.  But it's because she asks, and asks, and asks to do things with us.   She is bored and she loves to do things with people.   She is a very social person.   We feel bad for her that we say no as many times as we do.   But to my son, he just sees that we're doing things with her more than him.

We try to do things with him, but he doesn't accept our offers much of the time.   Prior to the, "No screens until you read three big books" standoff, that wasn't as apparent to him we think.   He's now noticing more because he's experiencing boredom on some level as well, although he's been doing a lot of interesting drawing, LEGO, and creative work.   He's also been receptive to having us do things with him more. 

Tonight, I decided to try something to see if I could trigger some empathy in him.  He and I were folding laundry in his room.   I told him we were going to blindfold ourselves and see what it was like to do laundry blind, like his sister has to do so every week.   Maybe, I thought, he would understand why I helped her with certain things and didn't with him.   He wasn't seeing that even though I helped my daughter in some areas of her laundry, she had to do additional work in other areas, but this wasn't about that. 

Greyson was happy about putting on the blindfolds.   We set a timer for ten minutes and both sorted the laundry.   And we did well.   I was surprised, although not completely so.   We did the easy part at just dividing up the laundry into piles of the same things like shirts, pants, socks, etc.   My son wanted to do another ten minutes and I agreed.  He told his sister about the plan and what we'd been doing and I fumbled down the hall to hang her shirts with a basket in my hands and a blindfold over my eyes.  

I found her closet floor completely covered in soft things.   I had only just cleared out the mess to get to the hangers by the time my son came to let me know the timer was up.   I don't know how much of the message got through, but we're trying.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son played outside today with friends on the street.   They all played well together and my son seemed to have a good time without trying to show off and control all the play.   He likes to run the show, which not everyone enjoys, especially when he's forceful about his opinions of what everyone should be doing.   I think it was a good day for him.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has learned how to make that pop sound you can make with your mouth by tucking your lips over your teeth, pressing down and then pulling them out quickly.   She worked hard to figure it out, especially since she had to do so mostly on descriptions.   She was showing off tonight and said, "It's amazing what the human body can do."