Children want you to do things for them...unless they don't. They like for you to hold them and hug them and put their clothes on them and then, suddenly, "I DO IT" happens. We're in the middle of the, "I do its" at our house.
Children also like choices. They want to make their own decisions and something as simple as asking, "do you want strawberry yogurt or do you want peach yogurt", can make the difference between a happy child and a tantruming one. Children like to have choices and it's up to you as the parent to pick times and things you can offer as choices.
We've been going to a buffet for lunch or dinner for a long time now. Usually, we go when someone is visiting and my children enjoy the meal and company very much. A buffet offers choices and we have met with good success in picking lots of little things to put on their plate. Of late though, they didn't seem that interested in the food selection there.
Today in the car I had an idea; I told my husband we should carry them into the buffet area and let them choose what they wanted to put on their plates. We asked them what they thought about this in the car and my son suddenly started talking about all the things he wanted to eat...and many of them were good, healthy choices.
When we arrived, they picked their own beverage and then went to the buffet line with us. They each picked things I didn't expect them to select, including things they had downright declined to eat in the past...and they ate them. They ate happily and quietly and they enjoyed the entire meal.
When it was time for dessert, we let them pick what they wanted and they each selected something reasonable that they also ate quietly.
It was one of the best meals we've had there in a long time. It seems letting them make their own choices was the better choice for us all along.
The Big Boy Update: My son wants to, as he told me, "be a leader". I agree with him because he seems to want to lead almost everything and everyone around him. He sometimes wants to be a leader in a negative way though, like pushing his sister down when she's going to make it to the potty first. We are working on appropriate ways my son can be a leader.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: On the way to lunch my son was upset. I offered him my soda water and he declined. I offered it to my daughter and she accepted. The fact that she now had the can of soda water infuriated my son into yelling and screaming that my daughter shouldn't drink it all and that he wanted it. She calmly drank the soda water and smiled and told him, "Greyson, when you're quiet, you can have some", which was exactly what we would have told him.
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