We went to get pizza at my children's, no, my husband's favorite pizza place. My son was having one of those difficult days. He didn't like anything, didn't want anything, was angry at everything and was being one very ornery little boy. I told my husband to take my daughter (who was having a find day mood-wise), order the pizza and I'd bring him in in a few minutes.
I tried multiple things, none of which involved letting him have his way—even if he'd known what he wanted—and got nothing but wailing, protesting and arguing. I thought he was okay so we went into the pizza restaurant and it was suddenly apparent that he was not okay. I turned around and fairly dragged him out (because while he didn't want to be in the restaurant, he also did not want to leave the restaurant).
We tried to go look at things next door at the pet store but that lasted only a few seconds so I had to resort to sitting him down in a chair and telling him he had to stay there until he calmed down and that this was not a choice. He was miserable. He was hungry and he was in the middle of an amygdala tantrum he had very little control over. So we sat and eventually my husband came out with the food and my daughter.
He told me, "there are some ladies in there that congratulated us on how we were taking care of the children, saying that was the way it had to be done and that they should know, they're educators."
Sometimes it's hard for parents to deal with their children when they're in public. No one wants their child to be seen having a tantrum and it's not uncommon for parents to try and mollify or placate the child in any way they can so that the situation is more socially acceptable.
I got over that a good while back. I would far rather someone see me being a parent who isn't letting a tantruming child get their way versus be the kind of parent that people say, "they've just spoiled their children, it's a shame."
If at all possible, I try to keep my children behaving respectfully of other people's space in whatever public locations we go and that may mean removing them from the situation if necessary. But I do expect them to always listen and hear our words and respect both my husband, me and any other adult figures with us too.
We have good kids who are learning how to navigate the world both physically and socially. They're doing well, even if we have tough days.
The Big Boy Update: At three o'clock in the morning last night I heard the door to the children's room slam and someone (by the sound of the thumping, my son) run downstairs and into our bedroom. He climbed onto the bed and said, "I'm scared of the monsters." This was a first. I hugged him and he got under the covers and I explained that we didn't allow monsters in our house and he could feel safe because his room was a safe place. After a few minutes I carried him back to his room and he went back to sleep.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: We ordered a child's plate of macaroni and cheese at a restaurant the other day. I know adult portions can be big sometimes, but this plate was huge. We were assured it was indeed the child's portion. My niece remarked that the plate was as big as her head. We took the remainders home and I think three people ate it for lunch the next day, including my daughter, who thinks macaroni and cheese is one of the best foods in the world.
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