The Only Thing More Awkward Than an Umbrella...

Is two people and an umbrella.

I dislike umbrellas.  I always have.  I realize I'm in the minority when it comes to this opinion, but I dislike them nonetheless.  And I shall count the reasons why.

First, you have to tote it around with you, just in case it rains.  I would rather risk getting wet.

Second, you stay dry on the upper parts of you, but the lower parts still get wet.  Since I don't have coiffed hair or wear makeup, getting wet upstairs isn't that much of a tragedy for me.

Third, you have to store it somewhere when you arrive, or get to your car.  I dislike the whole dripping wet umbrella contraption.  When they collapse, it's a guaranteed way for them to stay wet for days to come.

Fourth, when you leave wherever it is you brought your umbrella to, you have to remember to take it home with you.  The number of umbrellas left at my house over the years is a testament to how frequently they're forgotten.

Fifth, you are a menace when you're carrying one.  I have a special hatred for the extra large, super-duper, gigantic umbrellas that keep you and the surrounding county dry, while taking up the entire sidewalk and incommoding other passers by.  Large umbrellas aside, they all look like eye-pokers to me and I try to steer clear whenever I can.

Sixth, most of the time, the entire distance you need to go, say from the restaurant door to the car or the car to the house, is short.  By the time you deal with an umbrella, you could have gone the distance more than once.

And seventh, the sharing of the umbrella.  People are being kind in their desire not to get wet and it must seem like a weather catastrophe to see someone out in the rain, not seeming to mind getting wet.  I find myself frequently declining offers to share an umbrella, something I find frightfully awkward.  It seems to distress people that I don't want an umbrella, that perhaps that lady is off her medication, or maybe she had head trauma.  Either way, I sometimes have to decline an offer more than once.  Really, I'm fine.

Bottom line is, I don't mind the rain.  If I get wet, my body heat will usually cause my clothes to dry in a reasonable amount of time or if I get soaked, hopefully there's a dryer or towel in my near future.  I like the rain.  I dislike umbrellas.  But thanks anyway to everyone for trying to take care of me in the rain.  I appreciate the thought.

The Big Boy Update:  Big boy fan.  We went to friends of my parent's last night for dinner.  There was a six-year-old there named Ben who was the complete and total object of affection for my son last night.  He immediately looked up to this older boy as both a fun play mate as well as someone to admire.  It was very cute, and yet a little oppressive with all the adoration and smothering of affection my son lavished on Ben who was a good sport.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Roulette obsessed.  There is a roulette wheel at my parent's house.  She likes the wheel, but she loves the ball.   She will spend hours playing with that ball, bouncing it on the glass table, spinning the wheel and chasing it around the floor when she invariably drops it.