Do you ever have those days where you feel like you're doing everything wrong, that everyone else is getting their life in order and you just can't seem to get anything right? I have those days sometimes. Today is one of those days. I wallow about in self-loathing. It can be a positive thing. It makes me want to be a better person. In fact, I probably make "New Day Resolutions" more than anything else.
I say I will be an easier-to-get-along-with wife. I will treat my children with more kindness than firmness. I will not yell at my children. I will do more than my fair share of the work. I won't begrudge other people for what they are or are not doing, do or do not have. I will like people for who they are. I will be less-critical. Okay, perhaps not all in a single day, but those kinds of things.
They seem like little things. Why would you yell at your children? Well, you've told him to not touch the button on the receiver three times. You've counted one, two, three to him and you've put him in time out. And he goes right back and does it again. So you yell. And then you feel like a crappy parent. And you SAID you weren't going to yell today, so you're a failure as well. Sigh.
I am still feeling very poorly. I am on two antibiotics right now, one of them double dose because of the abscesses I had. I didn't mention, but I had another abscess that required another trip to the emergency room so I've got four holes healing on my backside. Combine that with the cold/flu/flold and I expect my system is just taxed.
My husband has been taking care of the children and doing so many things. If I didn't have children, I think I wouldn't feel so badly; but I have to lean on his help because I need to lie down. And he already does so much.
About the flu: my parents both caught what we had (we expect) and we think it's the flu. My mother is in the emergency room right now getting some intravenous fluids because she's had trouble keeping food and liquids down. I hope she will be okay. We're not sure if she'll be staying overnight.
I dislike the self-loathing feeling that I'm not pulling my part as a person, mother, wife, parent, friend. Tomorrow I will make another resolve to be better, I'm sure.
The Big Boy Update: Touch screen TV. In our bonus room there is a TV at the level the children can reach and touch. They have touched the iPad before, and they know it's a touch screen. This morning, my son would try and touch logos as they popped up in the corner of the screen because he thought they were buttons.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: She came home from school today clean. First day in a long time that's happened. Although, it was a shortened day at school due to weather delay. Maybe they never made it out to the playground.
Someone Once Said: A committee is the only known form of life with a hundred bellies and no brain.
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