The “Other People’s Children” Quote

I was at a parenting support group meeting tonight.   This is done a few times during the school year at our school.   It’s hosted by one of the parent families and attended by one or more staff/teachers.   Tonight’s event was hosted by friends of ours who live in our neighborhood.    The event was well-attended and our hosts were gracious, as always in their food, wine and hospitality.

I had failed though.  I hadn’t read the book.   I got there to find out there was no book this time, but a TED talk instead.   And as a bonus, we were going to watch the TED video after some social time before we had our group discussion.   Score!

The video was appropriate to our group in many ways and our discussion was robust.   But one of the comments from a teacher has been present in my mind all night.   She tells the story and says as a preamble that this particular story she’s told countless times.

She was at one of the first teacher support meetings after being hired by our school.   She had made the comment—one I’ve said myself many times—that it’s easy to remain calm when dealing with children in the classroom and yet it’s so challenging to keep your calm when dealing with your own child.    It was at this point a teacher who had been teaching for many years said something she’ll never forget.   She said, “other people’s children aren’t a reflection of you.”

That just about sums it up, explains it all and helps makes me understand in one short sentence.

The Big Boy Update:  He was the bad guy.    At the parenting book club meeting tonight I talked to another mother and mentioned my son talked about her child.   She said her son talks about my son too and how he’s “the bad guy.”   For the longest time my son insisted on other people being the bad guy but apparently he’s not the self-appointed bad guy on the playground—or so her son tells it.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter’s appetite has abated and is back to a relatively normal amount, even though she’s still taking oral steroids daily.   She has gained over four pounds though, which for a thirty-pound child is not a small amount of weight.   She doesn’t seem to mind weighing more though.