Into The Woods

This post is not about the movie that's out right now with the same name as this post title.   This post is about what happened this afternoon.   I am going to warn you right now that you may well want to stop reading.   Come back tomorrow when I'll be writing about cute, funny things my little horrors got up to while I was on the phone.

This afternoon started well.  We had planned a long run at about two o'clock.  My husband had a home inspection to go to so we had a sitter come to watch the children while my neighbor, Uncle Jonathan and I went off on an eighteen-mile run.

We left almost on time and hoped to be back before it got dark.   You remember how I run slowly, right?   I do.   My neighbor does as well (although I suspect she is faster when I'm not around.)  Uncle Jonathan, well, he's sort of like a dashing lightning bolt when he runs but he said he'd join us for the conversation.

That's where this starts to go downhill.   Let me say first though that my neighbor has this problem that happens when she runs.    She used to apologize for it, but now she understand we don't mind at all.    Her problem involves tissue paper and a hidden spot in the woods.   And let me tell you, she comes prepared with the tissue paper.     For our eighteen-mile run she had not one but two ziplock bags full of tissue paper.

Having this problem when running is apparently not as uncommon as you might think.   Some people have a problem with their stomachs and have to be very careful what they eat or they'll get sick when they run.   I'm fortunate in that I can eat about anything before a run without issue.   So for me, I don't have a problem with things coming up or down while I run.    I'm lucky.

My neighbor has this whole thing down by now.    She had dashed off twice already while Uncle Jonathan and I ran ahead some and then back after a bit to reunite.   I really don't know how she does it, clambering over the logs, limbs, decaying leaves and other woodsy things to find a somewhat secluded spot.    We run on a fairly busy trail, so sometimes it takes a bit to find a break in the passersby to make your dash for the woods.

Today, something was rumbling on my end though.  (I told you it was going to be one of those posts, why are you still reading?)  I tried to ignore it, but we were seven miles in and we had eleven miles to go and I realized, for the first time, I was in trouble.    There are no bathrooms on this trail or anywhere close to our running path.

I told my running partners I was going to have to, for the first time, make my own trip into the woods.  I needed advice.   How did she pick a spot?  How far did she go in?   What should I avoid?   There were other questions but I truly don't think I can write them here.    What gets talked about on the run,  stays on the run.   And those questions needed to stay deep, deep in the woods.

Her advice was interesting though:  she said she went for higher ground rather than lower ground because she noticed people looked down at the trail when they ran or biked by and didn't look up often.   She told me what type of cover to look for and how far to go back.   I asked about a particular location and she said that would be ideal.  Then she handed me the bag of tissues and said, "use them sparingly."

I am going to skip the next bit of the story but suffice it to say I came back with less tissue than I went into the woods with.

It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

The Big Boy Update:  My son and daughter went to the bathroom with me at lunch today and we went into the large, family bathroom available.  My son went first and stood up.   My daughter wanted to stand up but couldn't, she said, because she didn't have a penis.   My son told me, "hey, I want girls to have a penis."

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is good at reading a book to herself.   She makes up a story that goes with the pictures and is quite satisfied with how she decides the story ends.

Fitness Update:  Eighteen miles and a special visit into the woods today.