Saturday, February 16, 2013

It's Easy to Be Nice When You Have Money

There are many things you can do to do a kindness to someone else.  You can hold the door for someone with a cane, you can give up your seat on the bus to a person who looks like they've had a tiring, tough day.  You can be a listening ear to a friend who needs to talk out a difficulty in their life.  Or you can just give someone a genuine smile in the hopes you'll make their day a little brighter.

But if you have money, and by that I don't mean if you have a lot of money, I mean if you aren't living paycheck to paycheck, it's easier to do something nice for someone.

You're at a restaurant and you see a waitress who is working hard and people around you walk away from the buffet dinner and leave nothing for tip on the table.  Adding an extra two dollars to the tip you were going to leave in the first place will hopefully be appreciated by someone who might have children and pets to feed at home.

We had a new sitter come over the other week.  She's sixteen and moved to our neighborhood recently.  We met her parents at a neighborhood social and her mother said Morgan would be very interested in sitting.  Then, her mother did something I didn't expect: when asked her how much I should pay her daughter, she told me, "Oh, don't pay her that much."  So, we pay her what her mother suggested, but I add one extra dollar in per hour because I appreciate Morgan being available, sometimes on short notice, to come and help out.  It's three extra dollars maybe, but hopefully she appreciates it.

For school, we have opportunities to thank our teachers.  It's been well-established that teachers aren't paid highly.  So any time we have a teacher birthday, holiday gift giving, teacher appreciation day, or other chance, I try to come up with something extra I can add in to let our teachers know how much we appreciate them.   This year for holiday gifts I made earrings for all the female teachers and got gift cards for the male teachers.  If I was worried about being able to pay my gas bill or rent, I wouldn't have been able to do this small, but extra thing.

The lady who cleans our house, who has been with me since 1997 and is, to me, one of my extended family members, works so very hard.  She cleans my toilets and the mess we make and she does so while being happy.  She's never bothered when my son tries to "help" her with the vacuum hose.

A few months ago she was going on a vacation for the first time in many years.  Her daughter had asked her to go to Disney with her and her granddaughters.  I knew she was looking for extra work because she was having to take a full week off work for the trip, which meant lost revenue, and there would be extra costs associated with the vacation as we all know Disney isn't cheap.

She arrived late one day, looked very tired and was trying her best to keep a positive attitude while cleaning.  When I asked her how things were going I heard that she was leaving in five hours to drive, overnight, to Disney.  And she had two more hours to clean at our house.   I went to my "rainy day" envelope in my bedroom and got a hundred dollar bill to give to her as a special "have a wonderful trip" gift.   When I gave it to her, I didn't expect her to become almost hysterical in thanks.  She was overworked, and anxious about everything coming up.  And she needed to finish packing and take a deep breath before she started driving all night.  I told her she needed to stop cleaning right now and go home.  I told her not to worry, our house would be absolutely fine until we saw her after her trip.

Our house being spotless wasn't the most important thing at that point.  And that's a kindness anyone could show someone.  Having that saved up "mad money" made it an even nicer way to do something special for an important friend.

Money can make it easier to be nice, but taking the time to make something for someone like a handmade card or a special note telling them how special they are to you takes more time than spending money.  It's nice though to have the ability to do both.

The Big Boy Update:  Mickey Mouse dirty.  Mickey Mouse wash.  I told him he couldn't have his Mickey Mouse toy while he ate because it would get dirty.  He then told me while he ate his meal that Mickey Mouse was dirty and that he needed to be washed.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I can not get comfortable in this bed, but trust me, I'm trying.  I watched through the crack in the door the other day while my daughter tried and tried to go to sleep.  She tossed and turned, she tried various positions in the bed including putting her legs through the slats and almost falling off the edge, standing with her head on the mattress and lying on her back kicking the wall.  Eventually, she got off the bed and I almost ran in and put her back in when I saw her go over to the corner behind the chair.  Then she got on the floor, wiggled under the chair, lay in her favorite pike position and went straight to sleep on the carpet.

Fitness Update:  more skiing. I think I went down more steeps (you skiers would call them "slopes") in vertical descent than any of the prior days. I am feeling more in control, doing turns, going faster and navigating around people and obstacles. We even did a small blue slope section today. Tomorrow, our last day of skiing, I plan on doing a real blue slope; the easiest blue slope. I hope I survive...

Someone Once Said:  The more you love, the more you can love—and the more intensely you love. Nor is there any limit on how many you can love.   If a person has time enough, he could love all of that majority who are decent and just.

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