We had a gathering this weekend for contributors to our children's school who donated over a certain amount. This gathering, like so many other of our school gatherings, was mostly an opportunity to get together, but in particular to have our Head of School and Board Chairman thank everyone personally...with wine.
I'm on the Fundraising committee so we were going irrespective of our contribution level, but just like all the other school events we've attended, we had a lovely evening socializing with our fellow parents.
I had met the mother of one of the students in our school at one of the other events. She and her partner have two little boys, the second of whom will most likely be with my son or daughter in their toddler classrooms in the near future. She and her partner were in the corner talking with one of the other mothers who has twins, one in each of my children's classrooms currently. They were talking about IVF, the frustrations of becoming, and staying pregnant, the "irreversible skin stretching" that takes place when you have twins among other fun pregnancy and baby topics.
I sat down and joined the conversation and really liked both "Mommy" and "Mama" as their children call their two moms. And it struck me, they are members in a society fraught with people who may disprove of their way of life, who they personally chose to love, their personal, not bothering anyone else, choices. How do they know when they're going to meet with a stern lecture, ugly comments or even disgust from someone else?
I can't understand that world because I've always, boringly, done the "standard" route of going to college, getting a job, finding a husband, having children, blah de blah blah. No one subjected me to those choices, that's just the type of super exciting, breaking the mold, rebel that I am. Boring.
At any rate, I sit down to chat with these two ladies and the mom of a downs syndrome twin (that my daughter loves playing with in school) and I want to blurt out, "Hey, I'm on your side. You go. You be happy." I want to remove any thoughts they may have that they're going to have to defend or explain their personal choices and way of life. But I don't know how, and more importantly, I don't know if it's appropriate.
On our ski trip, I was taking lessons the first day with my brother-in-law (which is what I think of him as) when our ski instructor found out we were on a family vacation. She asked how we were related and I--let us use the word "blurt" because it is appropriate--blurted out that he was my brother-in-law. Thus followed questions about his wife, did he have children, etc. Ugh. I had messed it up.
When we had a bathroom break later, I apologized to him and said, "I am so sorry, I should have kept my mouth shut, I don't know enough to know what to say." He said it was not a problem and that he didn't mind explaining, and he would if it came up again. Still, I felt like a uncouth moron with no tact.
Back to the two moms on the couch though...we just kept talking and it became apparent through our conversation that I was aware of their family situation and they hopefully got a feeling that I found it nothing out of the ordinary. We got to laughing as we talked about further children and how just keeping up with the ones we had so far was tiring enough. It was a good evening.
I just don't understand why someone wants to push their personal beliefs onto someone else, expects them to behave as they may believe is morally just, appropriate or correct when it affects them not one bit. The good news is, our children attend a school which supports diversity of all kinds. It makes me proud we made the choice we did to send our children to school where we did.
The Big Boy Update: "Mimi's car gone" "Walk away momma" Yesterday with my mother (Mimi) left, he looked out the window after she'd driven off and said, "Mimi's car gone." He likes her car. It means she's visiting. This morning, while I was busily doing something apparently he didn't want me to do, he used a phrase they use at school to indicate you need to leave their "work" alone. He said, "Walk away Momma."
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: Cracku Omnipresent. Cracku is her number one word. It means food, it means juice, it means, well anything. Daddy just called and said on the way home she's said, "Cracku" about eight-seven times. She needs to find another word soon. She's extrapolated cracker about as far as it will go.
Someone Once Said: The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility. And vice versa.
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