Necklace Removal

Six, eight, or maybe even more months ago my daughter gave me a plastic heart necklace.   it was to help me not to yell.   We talked about how it had magical powers and I have worn it, not taking it off at all, all this time.   It was a little elastic band and I assumed it would eventually break, but it held strong and tried mightily to do its job.

Since it's only us adults here, I was ready to take the necklace off some time ago.   I liked it for the first few months and enjoyed telling the story to people.   My daughter and I talked about it as well, one time even having her "refill" it with more power.   But the tine had long come to move on to other, non-jewelry methods of managing our heated family moments. 

This morning, in a what was frankly fit of rage, I took it off and said that was it, it wasn't working anymore.   My daughter was understandably angry with me.   She wouldn't talk to me on the way to drop off my son at school.   After he was gone though, I had a conversation with her, explaining how I wasn't sure if the necklace was truly magic, but what I did know was it reminded me to try and take a deep breath before I got angry.   And that while it had done its job at first, since I'd worn it for so long, it wasn't the same and I wasn't thinking about it because I always had it on. 

She was very hurt that I'd taken it off.   I said we had to find another way and that we all needed to find ways to be kinder to each other.   She was thinking of other necklaces or bracelets she could give me.  Instead, I asked if maybe we could come up with a word we could say to each other that would be a reminder to think twice and try to take a breath and see if things were really all that bad?

She thought we could do that and by the time we got to school, she was working on a new story and practicing by telling me all about it.   I did wear that necklace longer than I believe I've ever worn a necklace before without taking it off.   I told her I would always keep it.

The Big Boy Update:  My son hasn't asked for screens back.   We changed his medication around a bit the last two days for school because he was having some potential tolerance signs.  This evening when he came home, he was still affected by the long-acting version we give him in the morning.   It was interesting to see his focus be on other things.   He spent the evening on Friday night upstairs in the bonus room, drawing and listening to audiobooks.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter wants to be a storyteller.   Perhaps a writer too, but at minimum, someone who tells stories in an interesting way to children.   She told a story one time and then we talked about what she could do to make a few things better, as well as what she did that made the story interesting and exciting to hear.   She took the feedback and told another, similar story next and did all the extra things I'd mentioned.   Now if we could only find a group of young children she could tell these stories to.