Having Been There Helps

I had a meeting today with someone I've known for the past two years.  We're only casually friends, but he and his wife are the kinds of people you think could be better friends possibly in the future. Today, he told me something unexpected. 

We were meeting to discuss something related to a project we were both working on.  I had been concerned because he hadn't been responsive to my emails and more than one other person had become frustrated with his lack of communication.  We weren't sure if this was normal and his workload was overtaking his free time or if he just felt like it was okay to ignore our reasonable requests for communication and information.  In short, we were getting frustrated with him.

So when we sat down to discuss business, I was completely taken aback when he said he needed to catch me up on some things that were relevant to his situation.  What I didn't expect him to tell me was that for the last four months, he and his wife had been having issues, were now living separately and were getting a divorce.  

I felt terrible.  I was concerned because he wasn't getting back to me on my emails, and he was trying to hold it together while his life fell apart around him.  I told him I'd been there, as I'd gone through a divorce too, and for some reason that seemed to be a bonding thing. 

He told me more and more about the situation--more than I would have expected him to tell me given how well I knew him, but I didn't mind.  I know what it's like to feel like you've failed at something you made a commitment to.  It doesn't mean you did something terrible or you or your partner are a bad person, it just means things didn't work out the way you planned them.

And it hurts.  I suppose he needed to talk about it some and I was not only sympathetic, I was empathetic because I went through it.  Bottom line, our situations were fairly dramatically different in many ways, but feelings are still feelings and they can be hard to deal with. 

The Big Boy Update:  "The cars are racing after the other cars."  We were at a restaurant tonight and our booth looked out towards a large street.  He could see rush hour traffic speeding by in both directions.  I think he thought it was a big car race.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  "Owie!  Owwww!  Stop!  Stooooopp!"  My daughter messed her pants up just as we got in the car tonight.  Apparently it wasn't comfortable in her pullup because she tried to exit her car seat violently the entire ride home while yelling at us the whole time.   Usually, she doesn't care.

Fitness Update:  Cold.  Congestion.  Cough.  Three C's that don't make exercising fun.  But we made it anyway.  At least I can't smell when my daughter's diaper is dirty and we're ten minutes from home.  My husband had to roll down a window.