Saturday, July 21, 2012

Does It Matter if He is a She?

You're out with your son or daughter in a public place.  Someone says, "Oh, he looks so cute asleep," or some other comment.  Does it matter if the person just mis-gendered your child?

My initial thought was that it shouldn't.  If your daughter is wearing pink and the person uses a male pronoun, you can just chuckle to yourself that the person wasn't paying much attention.  Or, you can be concerned that your little girl has male features, and worry about it all you like. 

But we do tend to gender-correct people when this happens.  I was set to write this entry and as I got started typing, I changed my mind.  I thought it was silly that we would correct random strangers.  Who cares?  And then I realized why we do it. 

The event that caused me to think about this was when two ladies commented about my daughter (and thought she was a he) in an elevator.  It was a complimentary comment and I accepted it, agreed, and didn't bother to let them know he was a she. 

In this case, once we exited the elevator, the conversation and interaction was over.  It didn't matter.  But it can matter.  And that's why I think it's so common for people to correct strangers about their child's gender.  For example, if you don't let the person know your child is the other gender immediatly and the person doesn't move along or you find yourself in a longer conversation, do you belatedly let them know they've been refering to your child incorrectly for the last ten minutes and that you've been intentionally using generic pronouns because you didn't intend to get into a long conversation?  In short, we correct in order to avoid a possible future awkward situation.

Sure, some people correct because they may be offended that you couldn't tell their little precious was whatever gender little precious is, but I suspect now that I've thought about it, we do it proactively instead of reactively.

The Big Boy Update:  Hands.  Are terrible right now.  His eczema is on a flare up on his hands.  He's scratched them and they look like little scabbed sores in some places.  He also banged his thumb at one point and the nail has finally fallen off, but the thumb still looks like it was chewed up in a saw mill.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Not so tiny any more.  She has been putting on the plump.  She has stored all kinds of plump in her legs.  The Bumbo seat will be retired tomorrow because we can't wedge her legs into it any longer.  But she's still my tiny baby, even if she is pudgy.

Fitness Update:  Don't run in a belt.  It is not comfortable.  I went walking in the mountains yesterday and decided to do a little bit running.  I walked some of the longer, steeper parts, but I did most of the way running.  In street clothes, not running clothes.  Oh, and there was a belt.  I appreciate my running clothes ever so much more now. 

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