Table Manners

I remember as a child learning from my mother how to set a table.   I found out which utensils went on which side of the plate and how the knife should be faced.   There was some confusion on my part because I’m left-handed and while I know where the glass should be placed, it was always the wrong side for me.   But I remembered and it was good to know how to set a table.

My mother also taught me table manners including how to use the utensils to eat: how to hold a fork, use a knife and fork and ladle soup into my mouth.   Later, my father taught me how to use chopsticks and how to eat sushi, which was also a good thing because my love of sushi has only grown since then.

Today, how often do I use those table manners?  I was thinking about this while we were in Las Vegas as the group of friends who went together to run in the race met for brunch at one of the large, casino buffets the next morning.   I was eating, they were all eating, and no one was paying any attention to how people were using their utensils.   To be sure, no one was shoveling food into their mouths with their hands alone, but barring that, it was really anything goes.

I think my generation is a much more casual one than that of my parents.   When we have people for dinner we don’t set the table, we have people get their own utensils out of the drawer and stack the plates on the island.  The food sits on the island or stove, depending on what my husband decided to cook for the day.   Everyone serves themselves and selects what and how much of whatever they want.

If someone wants seconds, they get up from the table and get themselves more most of the time.  Everyone has picked out their own beverage and if they need more or want something different, they typically go get what they’re looking for.  No one minds or thinks a thing of it; everyone is self-sufficient.


We should, but we don’t, adhere more to the, “ask to be excused” model of a group dinner for the children.   This part is something we need to work on.   The children like to get up and down and sitting still is always a challenge for my children.   If it’s a special dinner we ask them to wait with us and wait until everyone is ready for dessert—even though they’re always ready for dessert first.

It seems to work well for my generation.   But I did think about it, wondering if my peers really are using proper utensil usage.   Do they put their elbows on the table?   Are their napkins in their lap?   Do they ask to be excused when they want to get up?  

One thing my peers do is always say thank you.   Everyone is complimentary and generally grateful for a meal served to them at our home (well, that they self-served).   There isn’t a lot of judgement that I’ve noticed, mostly because there are so many less, “rules”.   I have Emily Post’s manners and etiquette book on my bookshelf in the living room.   I haven’t pulled it out in years, maybe I should review it and see how different we are culturally today.  

The Big Boy's Chronicles:  My son is excited about the, “Cap and Map” session he’s going to have next week to map his brain for upcoming Neural Training we’re going to do for him to help with his focus and processing speed.   I told him (truthfully) that the cap Dr. Dan will be putting on him is like what the astronauts have used under their space suits.   He was disappointed he has to wait until next week; he wanted to go today

The Tiny Girl’s Update:  There’s a game on Alexa called,  “Freeze Dancer”.   Alexa plays a song and then says, “freeze”.   Then she tells you what to do for the next song (hop, spin, plod like an elephant, high knees, act lie a monkey, etc.).  One time Alexa said, “close your eyes and dance.”   My daughter told Alexa back, “but I’m blind…”.  Then she offered, “I guess I could close my one eye” (since she has only one eye she can see with.)