He Nailed Me

My husband and I met with my son’s play therapist yesterday.   We haven’t had a chance to speak with her in a while, which is mostly because my son has been working with an integrative therapist instead, suggested by Dhruti, his play therapist.   And while Liz has been very helpful in many ways, recently she’s questioned if she was the best fit for his current needs.   She suggested having Dhruti see him for a session or two to get her take on where he was developmentally.

Dhruti hadn’t seen him, or the evaluation results we had from this summer’s testing but she got up to speed quickly, asking after two sessions to have a meeting to discuss.  She said the evaluation made complete sense and explained what was happening in school with him.   She said she’d explain, but first, she wanted to tell us about something that happened with my son that has never happened to her in all her years as a therapist.

She said my son was sitting on the bean bag chair, reclining back, and said to her, “so you just play and figure me out?”  She said, “he nailed me.  A child has never done that before.”  He followed up with, “you use my play to learn about me?”   She told him that was what she did, yes, and that she took what she learned to help the adults help him.   My son said he was okay with that.

So from a conceptual standpoint my son understands things.   He gets the big picture.   His working memory is great.   Scientifically, he’s being held back because his executive decision making is poor and his sensory regulation isn’t high.   Making sense of things is slowing him down, which is incredibly frustrating to him and manifests as a sensory regulation issue.   That’s fancy for is causing it to look like he can’t focus and is distracted and/or actively avoids doing the work, which can also include disrupting his friend’s work.

His work at school isn’t difficult for him—he even told Dhruti he didn’t find the school work hard.   But he can’t get to the work because of the executive functioning issue.   Basically his ability to process things doesn’t match up with his intellect.

So we have a new plan.  One that will rewire his developing brain on two fronts.   The first is Theraplay, which sounds mild-mannered as a word, but is very specific and adds specific skills to the child’s brain without the child even knowing it’s happening.   A parent is present and participates in the sessions and then we have “homework” to continue to build on what’s done in session.   It’s about twenty weeks and then it’s done.

My son has done, “play therapy” before with Dhruti.   This is talk therapy for a child who doesn’t have the words to talk.   The child plays out things and the therapist is trained to understand and interpret the play.   This kind of therapy is completely directed by the child, because the child needs to, “speak” what’s happening in their mind.   Theraplay, consisting of almost all the same letters but rearranged is entirely different.   Each session is directed one-hundred percent by the therapist with specific goals—goals that will help strengthen his brain in the areas he needs.  

The other facet to helping my son will be to add in some neurofeedback, which is like playing video games for your brain, without using your hands to control things.   I’ll write more on this when I know more, because at this point I know very little.   But it’s video games (of a sort) so my son is going to be pretty excited if I’d venture to guess.

The Big Boy Update:  My son wanted to play Fortnite with my husband tonight.   After dinner my son went to the bonus room where the Nintendo Switch is.   My husband was in the basement on his computer.   They were playing together well, with my son sending messages to his father through the Alexas that were in each of their rooms.   I don’t know how well they did, but my son had a great time.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter reminded me we needed to make treat bags for her birthday party.   Fortunately we have lots of candy from Halloween.   I asked her what things she wanted to give away (four pieces of candy is a plenty, I told her).   She selected smarties, Nerds, Milky Way minis and Laffy Taffy.   Tomorrow we’ll stuff the bags and put something else fun in them for her friends before we go to the indoor trampoline park for her party on Sunday.