Nothing

My daughter has been singing, "Do You Want To Build a Snowman” from Frozen the past few days.  She’s about the right age and she has that little tinkly voice.   I wrote about this song before, way back, not long after my daughter lost the bulk of her vision.  

My daughter saw Frozen when she could still see.  We had gotten the album and I was playing it in the car for the children.   "Do You Want To Build a Snowman” came on and when the interlude came in the middle of the song my daughter knew the movie had a scene with a boat and a storm.  She wanted to know what happened and I explained how there was a terrible storm and the boat had sunk and the parents had died.

So for the past few days as my daughter sang the song, she’d get to the middle part and tell me this was where the storm with the boat part.   And I got to thinking.   It’s been over three years since my daughter lost her sight.   She was just shy of four-years-old at the time.   What did she remember of the movie?

I asked her if she remembered seeing the movie Frozen.  She said no.  How did she know about the boat?   She’d known for a long time about the boat.   Then I asked her what she remembered seeing.  She said, “nothing”.   I asked her twice, the second time a little differently but her answer was quick and clear and didn’t sound like she was avoiding a subject she didn’t want to talk about.   She doesnt’ remember seeing anything at all.

Later, after dinner I brought it up again when my husband was around in a casual, “let’s catch dad up on what we talked about” kind-of-way and her answer was the same, “I remember seeing nothing”.

I didn’t expect that.   I wonder what her memory of colors is, for instance?   We think she can still see a little because she can do a few things with the iPad, but we don’t know what what she sees looks like at all.  Maybe I’ll ask some additional questions to see if I can get more information on what she can see now.  It’s hard to find out though.   If she was a fully sighted person who lost their vision when they were an adult, they could describe what their remaining vision was like.  She has no framework for what things should look like and with all memory of prior vision gone, she’s not going to be able to explain what she can see.

The Big Boy Update:  Tonight I was hugging my son before bed.   I told him he smelled good.   He asked me what he smelled like.   I told him he smelled like Greyson.   He said, “I usually smell like poop or bacon or eggs or pancakes.”   I couldn’t stop laughing.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is either a shark or a bunny.   She is kind and sweet and lovable just like a bunny.   Unless she’s threatened or smells blood.  Then she’s a shark.