How Are The Kids?

Any time you see or speak with someone after not being in touch for a period of time the typical thing people ask is, “how have you been?”   If you have children the second thing they usually ask is, “how are the kids?”  This is an innocuous question, meant as a general conversation opener that’s open-ended enough to invite any sort of response on what’s been happening since you last spoke.   It’s a good question, but it’s become a question I hate.

For a family with healthy, normal children it’s easy enough to say, “we’ve been doing great” or, “not much has happened around here”.  But when you have a child who’s going through a dramatic, life-changing medical situation such as losing ninety percent of their vision, the question that usually comes next is, “how is your daughter doing?”   Again, a good question.   A question that says the friend or family member cares and wants to know how things are going—a hopeful question for good news or at least progress.    The thing is, I hate that the question needs to be asked.

I never mind telling people the latest status, what the plan is from our doctors, what might or might not get better.  In fact, I like letting people know the latest news if it’s something they’re interested in hearing about.   I’m fairly good at doing a summary speech and then delving into details if the conversation goes in that direction.    But I wish it wasn’t necessary; I wish it didn’t need to be asked; I wish I had two healthy children living medically boring, normal lives.

We don’t always get what we wish for though.  So much as I hate the question, I’m glad people care enough to ask.

The Big Boy Update:  I mentioned a while back that my son loves the show Cosmos.  He was watching it last week, learning all sorts of things about the planets and our solar system.    When we took a break for lunch he asked me, “Can I not go to school or camp any more because I'm watching Cosmos and learning things?"

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  We may be going broke.   The problem is the fountain at the mall.   When my daughter is in Detroit her favorite thing to do after a procedure or office visit is going to the mall. Once there, she wants to throw coins into the fountain from different spots (it’s a big fountain).   She even drops coins into it from the balcony on the third floor.  I think she could happily throw coins into the fountain for hours on end.   If this keeps up, we’re going to have to invest in a penny farm and hope for a good crop this year.