The Bouncy Ball Observation

My husband and I go back and forth between being hopeful and being dismally depressed at my daughter’s vision situation, outlook, future, etc.   I can go into all the unknowns and variables at this point which boil down to somewhere between, “completely blind” and “will never have perfect vision.”

When we see signs and behaviors to indicate things are worsening on a daily basis it’s hard to keep hopeful, even though we know what’s happening in the right eye might be improving but can’t yet be taken advantage of.    Suffice it to say, roller coaster—you get my meaning. 

We have been thinking positive things like, “what if the right eye is capable of seeing things somewhat okay, but what if the lack of lens makes it hard to tell what the retina is seeing?”   That’s a positive thought.   That’s a hopeful thought.   Tonight my husband had a different thought and I wish he’d never had it because now I can’t stop thinking about it. 

We found a bouncy ball when cleaning up.   It was clear with glitter sparkles in it.    He said, “put it as close to your eye as you can.”   Folks, I couldn’t see anything.   I could tell my eye was open, but the information coming through wasn’t useful in any way at all.   I wouldn’t have been able to navigate around an elephant in front of me and I couldn’t discern a green shirt versus a white one.    

Then my husband said, “but look directly towards the celling light.   Can you tell it’s brighter?  Yes, I could easily tell where the light was and it was much, much brighter.   Then he waved his hand in front of me and said, “can you see me waving?”   I could barely tell, but I was definitely able to see movement.  

He said, “what if that’s what her vision looks like?”   Those are the things she can do now, but what if that’s what she’s actually seeing?  We just don’t know because she can’t tell us at this age.  I hope it’s better than that.   Tomorrow marks one month from when Dr. Trese performed surgery on her right eye.   Hopefully things are healing and vision is returning.   For now though, we just don’t know. 

The Big Boy Update:   My son got upset because my husband made breakfast for him this morning instead of me.   This is typical morning for him: the smallest thing can set him off.    He was fuming though as he said to me in a cross voice, “can you get me a pen and write a sign that says this is the door that dad needs to go out so he can no longer be a member of our family?”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has been listening to audio books at school during rest time.   We thought she wasn’t going to take to it well, but from talking to her after school teacher today she seems to be enjoying it.   She asked to listen to the “Gingerbread Man” story again today.