The Biggest Burden?

I had a conversation with a friend the other week about my daughter’s needs and how we hoped she would still be able to function and be successful in her classroom for now while she goes through the multiple surgeries she’s likely to have to hopefully improve her vision.  

We don’t know what her ultimate vision will be and it seems like her vision is declining more and more as we take steps to help her.  At the very least, it is going to be a while longer until we see improvements given what her doctor is thinking may need to be done to correct the low pressure and retinal detachments.

So with that said, I had a concern about what kind of burden my daughter would be in her classroom for her teachers.   We are less concerned about her educational advancement at this time and hope for her to have meaningful and happy time in the classroom with her peers and friends.   We want that time to be something that is low stress for her that occupies her mind and stimulates her intellectually, in whatever way she is currently able.

What worried me was the thought she would be too difficult to deal with in the classroom for her teachers and that she would take too much time as a single student.    When I spoke to my friend, who has several children at our school, one of whom is a special needs child, she told me something I hadn’t thought about.

She said, “you substitute in the classrooms.   Think about which children take up more of your time.   It’s not the ones that need help, it’s the behavioral problems.”   As she and I talked about it, it made me feel a lot better.   She was right.   It’s not the child who is interested in working but needs some guidance or help, it’s the children who don’t want to work, who want to bother you again and again for the same thing because they don’t like their choices.   It’s the child who doesn’t listen and has to be redirected twenty times in a morning to go back to their place and continue with their work.

There are a lot of reasons a child might need more than their share of attention in a classroom.   Many of those reasons aren’t ones my daughter has.   She likes to work and when she’s working she is usually well-focused.  She understands the routine and cleans up after any given work.   She listens and enjoys being part of the classroom routine.  

So yes, she is requiring more help now because of her visual impairment.   And yes, it may be that our school may ultimately not be the best place for her.   But for now, I’m less worried about how much of a burden she may be simply from a vision standpoint alone.

The Big Boy Update:  Stupid is done.   My son has been using the word ’stupid’ a lot lately.   Commonly it is about a thing he doesn’t like and sometimes it’s about a person.   Today he was told the word ’stupid’ was no longer allowed in our house.   If he uses it again he will be sent to his room and there may be additional consequences (snack, screen time, etc.).  I’ll keep you posted on how this one goes down.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  I played the keyboard with my daughter last night.   She sat on my lap nd told me she was making up a song.   Because she doesn’t know how to play the piano mostly everything sounds off key, minor, un-harmonic and even sad.   She said to me, “this song is called ‘Sad to Life’”   I tried to get out of her what the song meant because I wondered if it had anything to do with how she was feeling but I couldn’t get more than it had to do with having someone to be with when someone was sad.