That’s the plan. Some of you, I’d venture most of you, know how children don’t always want to follow the plan. Sometimes they’re not happy about the plan because it’s not what they want to do. Teaching our children to think of others and not be selfish is an ongoing process in our family here.
My son got home from three days with Nana and Papa this afternoon to get his splint changed out for a cast. He arrived with his splint in tatters. It wasn’t much better when we sent him off a few days ago as the wrappings weren’t prone to staying still. His arm was wrapped above the elbow and locked in a ninety degree angle but it was held in place by the wrappings alone, and those kept slipping. Before he left I’d wrapped a secondary bandage around his arm which would have kept it immobile, only it turned out to be infernally hot and he couldn’t bear the sweating and itching so it had to go.
After lunch, at which my son got hot sauce smeared on the bottom of his wrapped arm, we went to the orthopedist. They unwrapped his arm and took a follow-up X-ray. Good news, active bone growth was clearly visible around the buckle fracture. And that meant he could get a regular cast.
It also meant he didn’t have to have the cast above the elbow—and the cast could get wet. And to add to the good news, it would likely be only four more weeks, instead of five or six. The most difficult thing about the whole appointment was picking the color cast he wanted. He settled on blue and fifteen minutes we walked out of the office with his arm swinging by his side.
We got home and I told him he could play Fortnite if, and only if, he, without complaints of any kind, or delay tactics, stopped playing when Mimi and Gramps arrived because he and she were going to the store to pickup dessert for Gramp’s birthday dinner. He has promised. I hope all goes to plan, because I don’t want to exact another consequence on him today, he already lost his Switch ten minutes after he got home for name calling.
And how does all this relate to Gramps dying? I’m getting there. Another thing my mother did was message us saying Gramps was going to bring some magic over to show to my son after dinner if he would be interested. Here’s the thing: my son is very interested in magic. My father is quite an accomplished magician. I had the rare privilege of growing up in a house with magic all around me. Magic and science and math. Maybe those aren’t subjects everyone is interested in, but for me, all three were fun.
I went on to get a Math/Computer Science degree but I never picked up on the magic. I love watching magic and find the skills behind pulling off an illusion or some sleight of hand much more impressive than the “trick” itself. But magic wasn’t something I was interested in pursuing myself.
Enter my son, who is eight now and is interested in magic. He’s done some simple tricks up to now but he hasn’t had the maturity to do more meaningful magic yet. He’s getting to a good age though and my mother, father and I would like to nurture his interest in magic. To that end, my father is bringing some magic over tonight to show my son (in secret from us non-magic folk).
My son is one track mind when it comes to Fortnite right now (I think there’s a new “Season” out) and he’s prone to being rude to anyone and anything that might get in the way of procuring that precious screen time to play it. So I had a talk with him.
I explained that today was Gramp’s eighty-third birthday and he was bringing magic over to show him, and only him, tonight. That it would be a special birthday present to Gramps to be able to teach his magic to his grandson. I said I knew he’d been interested in learning more magic from Gramps and today Gramps had prepared some things just to teach him. I told him he would have time tomorrow to play Fortnite since it was still summer and that (and here’s where I laid it on too thick) Gramps wouldn’t be able to teach him magic for many more years.
My son burst into tears at that point and said, “I don’t want Gramps to die!” I hugged him and said, I never wanted Gramps to die either, that he was my dad. I told him what I meant was that Gramps had arthritis and it is getting harder for him to demonstrate the magic as he gets older. Then I got to explain arthritis. You’d think that as an adult I’d think these things through before I said them. Is it any coincidence I picked the phrase, “Age does not bring wisdom, but it does give perspective” for the title of this blog? I don’t think I’ll ever be wise. There are too many mistakes I have yet to make.
So Happy Birthday to Gramps today. Let there be many more birthdays and magic tricks to come.
The Big Boy Update: My husband picked up my son at Nana and Papa’s house today and called to tell me they were on the way to the Mongolian restaurant to meet me for lunch. My husband told me I was not to hug my son when I saw him. When I met them my son reminded me about the no hugging and I asked him why? He said he wasn’t ready yet. About five minutes later he was ready though and came over to give me one of those, as Olaf calls them, “warm hugs”.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: We’ve had a lot of cab drivers since Kindergarten. We’ve liked most of them, particularly the ones who drove her for the longest. My daughter’s new driver is one of my favorites though. My daughter and she like riding together and she told me a story today how my daughter helped her with a particularly difficult child who did’t want to get in the cab. My daughter said words that made me laugh when Ms. Grimes told me, because I could completely tell where she got them from, namely me.
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