One Thing to Know

I started a new game with my daughter today called, “One Thing to Know”.  It was an idea I had after yesterday’s experience with the my daughter’s lack of knowledge on where the milk was located every single day for years in our refrigerator.  How many other things in our house does she have no recollection of?   She says she doesn’t remember seeing anything, ever.   What does her mental map of our home look like?  I’m guessing it’s only things she’s touched and had direct experience with.   And I want to change that.

This morning I said I had a new game called, “One Thing to Know”.   When we played it, we’d learn one thing about our house.   She wasn’t exactly sure she wanted to play the game with me because it sounded boring I suppose, but I told her we should try it and see what she thought.

I took her into the dining room to the buffet cabinet and asked her if she knew what was on top of it?   She didn’t know.   That told me that in her mind, there was a simple rectangular box in the dining room with no details at all.   I had her start at the right side and feel.   She found a bust of a child’s head that was very heavy.   I pulled it down so she could feel the head, face, shoulders and clothing carved into the sculpture.

Next she found a long glass tube with five inset tea light candles.  Behind that was a tall, fluted thing that seemed to her like a large wine glass but inside it was a pillar candle.   Then in the middle of the cabinet was a pottery bowl.   After that she found some of the same items, positioned in a mirror image fashion on the left side.   There were more tea light candle and another pillar candle in a tall candle holder.  At the far left end there was a tray in a metal carrier with some little items in it.

I had her come back to one place she had missed and told her this was the most special thing here.  I pulled down a crystal decanter and had her take out the stopper.   I said inside there was some wine Papa had bought the year dad was born in 1977.   I asked her if she could figure out how old the wine was but she was more interested in getting the stopper back into the decanter because she didn’t like the smell of the wine.

Then I said to her, “oh, and I almost forgot, we have this displayed as well” as I brought down a poster board that was in the back, leaning against the wall.  It was of a tactile snowman she’d made before the holiday break.   I didn’t tell her what it was, but she recognized it as soon as she touched it, going over it with her hands and telling me about what all the different parts were and where they’d come from such as the arms that were sticks from the playground.

I told her we could play, “One Thing to Know” any time.   She giggled and said, “we could look in your underwear drawer.”  I said, “I think that’s a great idea.  I could show you how I have my underwear drawer organized.  It’s different than how yours is.  And do you know what?  Your brother has no idea what’s in my underwear drawer.”

I think my goal is to have her go through the whole house and learn what’s in it.  There are so many things that I imagine are just blanks in her mind.  She loves finding out things and trying new things.

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Dirt In The Mouth Incident:  My daughter came in this afternoon covered in black dirt on her face and shirt.   She was crying.  I yelled, “stop, don’t move, let me help you.”  I walked her into the bathroom and lifted her into the tub and then I brushed it all off her.   She was upset but told a story of how her brother and friend had told her to do something like throw the ball and hold her mouth open.   And then they threw dirt in her mouth.   They had definitely taken advantage of her inability to see—which is something I’ve never seen them do in a negative way before.   And knowing my daughter, she was probably frustrating them in some way.

Her brother came in later and I had him come to see all the dirt in the tub.   I had him explain, in front of his sister, what was going on.   He admitted to doing it, and it was in part because my daughter was irritating them.   I worked on the guilty angle and asked him why he wasn’t protecting his sister?  I asked if it was revenge?   And I knew in part it was to look cool in front of his friends.   He admitted to being frustrated and even said it was probably in part revenge.   And he apologized to her.   She didn’t accept the apology, which upset him, but I told him that was okay, that was her choice and I didn’t know if I could forgive him if he’d thrown dirt in my face.  All ended well though as they were friends a few minutes later.