Like the Stork?

We’re very matter of fact with the children about life and their experience in the world.   We discuss the cycle of life with them in terms we hope they can understand.   They understand all things grow old and die—and that it can be sad, but that’s what happens to us all.   They’re too young to understand their mortality, but we don’t want to shelter them from things by avoiding subjects.

We don’t sad, “someone has passed” or use other euphemisms, we say that the cat died, for instance, and that that’s what happens when we get old.   We talked about how our prior dog, Lucy, died because her heart wasn’t able to continue on.  We’ve told them they are very fortunate to have four grandparents who are alive and love to spend time with them.   They also know that they will live longer than their grandparents as well as their parents.   My son will ask about exceptions and we tell him that unless something unexpected happens, we as humans live a long life.

They know people can get sick and that usually we recover from the sickness.   Since they’ve been sick before with colds, fevers, ear infections, etc., they understand what we mean.   We always say how it’s sad when something or someone dies, but that’s part of life.   As a result, they’re not afraid of death in an unhealthy way, but they’re also full of life and want to live a long, long time.

I remember when I was a child.  I don’t know what the surrounding situation was but I was in our neighbor’s yard, playing with their children, Jeff and Joey.   We got to talking about dying and I remember vehemently believing I was going to live forever.   I wasn’t going to die—ever.   I just wasn’t going to do it.   That one little memory has helped me to understand what it might be like for my children when we talk about life.

We also talk about birth and reproduction.   All in terms the children can understand.   They each had different questions about why we were getting the dog spayed.   They both thought it would be wonderful to have little baby dogs.   But they were okay that we weren’t going to have any with Matisse.

I was talking to my son about this the other day and I told him G-Money (my best friend’s husband’s nickname my son has for him) was a doctor that delivered babies.   That the type of doctor he was was call an obstetrician.   My son said to me, “he delivers babies like the stork?”  I laughed and told him that yes, he delivered babies, but it was a different way of delivering babies.

I don’t know where my son heard the stork story, could have been anywhere.   It’s not a story we’ve told our children, but it’s a great mental image—even if it’s a nonsensical one as an adult.

The Big Boy Update:  My son got cranky last night about his screen time.   He lost the ability to track his time and is now dependent on us to grant and time his use.   He isn’t trying to cheat so much as he loses track of time when he’s engaged.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:   My daughter is very occupied with her friends and the, “conveyor” they have from the deck to the play structure.   Just a few small chocolate eggs are keeping them busy for a good period of time today as they haul the bucket back and forth.