We're at a critical time with our children. They're not old enough to have traditions they remember or expect. We can set a precedence for drinking soda, or having candy at the end of a meal, or how many birthday presents they'll get each year and if we're good parents and we stick to our decisions and don't give in, we stand a good chance of not letting our children's expectations run a meal or holiday or family event situation.
I attended a school discussion on Purposeful Gift Giving in which we discussed how gifts shouldn't be expected or demanded by a child. The theme, and the advice from the experienced parents was that less is always more. A child with seventeen gifts isn't seventeen times more appreciative than a child with one gift. In fact, the child who is lavished with too many presents can become less-appreciative and sometimes even become ungrateful.
I remember being a child and getting to an age where I expected more and more from Christmas presents. It's an embarrassing thing to remember as an adult, but I was a kid, and Christmas was all about me at that age. But how do we do an appropriate job of placing presents, the holidays and Santa Claus in the lives of our children without going overboard?
We talked with one family who does not have Santa Claus at all in their holiday celebration. We talked to another mother who celebrates Santa Claus with her two young boys, but has Santa in a more diminished capacity than he is in many households. My husband and I had been talking along those lines the days before, so it was nice to hear how that worked in her household.
She said the focus in their house was on decorating. Her children love to decorate. Every day after Thanksgiving they put out a few more decorations. Her boys love to rearrange the decorations. They also go on Holiday lights drives. They go and get hot chocolate at the coffee store and drive around town looking at holiday lights. She said if you ask her boys what they love most about Christmas, they'll say driving around to see the lights and drinking hot chocolate.
We've also been considering the power of Santa Clause. You can maintain a list of things you want all year and when Christmas time draws close, you can decide which things on your list you want to ask Santa for. It's a great way to defer gratification for a child and help them understand waiting.
Santa is someone who expects good behavior. And Santa is wonderful in his ability to arrive while you're asleep and deliver gifts to your house for the morning when you wake up. So don't make Santa disappointed in you, you don't want to miss his presents. Santa is a great system moms and dads can use. But how much of Christmas should be Santa, and how much should be sharing and giving with family?
My husband and I both agreed we remember the excitement of Santa from our childhoods. But we also agreed we don't want Santa to be the main force of gifts during the holidays. I think we're going to try and have Santa bring one or maybe two gifts and fill stockings while keeping the focus of the holidays on gift giving between family members.
And on the front of purposeful gift giving, we're going to try and keep the amount of presents down to a reasonable roar. We know it's fun to give a child a gift and watch them light up and smile and laugh. I am, without a doubt, the worst offender of this. But I am going to make an effort to not buy too much and give too much for the holidays. I'm hoping we can share this message with our family members and they'll like the idea too. They're always supportive, I'm sure they wouldn't mind going the "less is more" route. Last year my in-laws asked that gifts to them be donations to a good cause and my parents are always saying they want to keep Christmas small.
The Big Boy Update: Differentiating "this" and "that." He says, "this this this" a lot to indicate he wants something. "This" is an all-purpose noun for him. It's interesting to note that "this" means something that is right here, in close proximity, while "that" means something over there, out of reach. I've been trying to help him understand when something is a "this" and when it's a "that." It's impressive to watch a child under two comprehend and incorporate abstract concepts into their vocabulary.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: Soft shoes. She needs "slippers" or soft shoes to wear at school when she's inside. It's a Montessori thing. We've only had one pair of shoes for her so far, and she delights in taking them off. Constantly. So I had little hope for the Roobies I got used at the used clothing store. But she loves them. They're soft and leathery and she doesn't even try to take them off. She's walking better in them it seems to me, but then again, she's walking better every day this week because she's decided it's time to walk above all other baby activities. Her single mindedness is paying off.
Fitness Update: Scheduling snafu. We decided to go out to a very nice, expensive, gourmet dinner with good friends tonight. We had the reservation, the plans and then I remembered, whups, it's the night before the half marathon. And it's the night of daylight savings time. Out late for dinner, missing an hour in the middle of the night and arrival time, dressed and ready downtown at six am and I'm concerned I'm not going to get more than five hours sleep. On the up side, I can eat as much as I want and every single bit of my food because I'll need the calories for tomorrow morning's run. On the downside, I'm not drinking any alcohol. On the reverse side though, I'll make an excellent designated driver.
Someone Once Said: Natural laws have no pity.
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