Your Job is Silence and Smiles

Lots of people like babies.  When you have a small baby or a toddler or a young child who's being cute, it's not uncommon for another adult to want to interact with your child.  It can be very sweet to see your child respond to another person and it can make you smile to see your child—who is obviously the cutest kid on the planet—making that other person grin and ask follow-on questions.   Without children, I never noticed this happening much; with children, I see it happening all the time. 

These type of interactions strike me as a hard thing to do right as a parent, though.  You want that person who is talking to your child, or asking for a high five, or a hand shake or other interaction request, to know that your child is smart and friendly and knows just what to say and do.  "Yes, my child knows that's the moon up there and he knows what a dog says, but for some reason he's being shy or quiet right now," you think.  So what do we do?  We answer for the child.

Or, we might explain to the person that he or she is having a quiet day.  We might even encourage the child to respond appropriately by adding more words into the conversation.   But here's the thing, as an adult, you're not part of the conversation.

Sure, you can make yourself part of it because you're the parent and it is your job to protect your child.  But that nice person who is talking to your child isn't really talking to you.  They're talking to your child most likely because your child is cute or interesting or funny, not because you are.

I find it difficult, and yet important, to just sit there and smile.  Smile because you approve of the interaction and you know the person is being friendly.  Smile and say nothing, because any helping you do at this point is reducing the learning opportunity for your child to forge through the conversation himself.

Does that other adult know children rarely perform, or are commonly shy, or sometimes don't answer at all?  Most assuredly they do.  So I have been trying to sit back and enjoy the interaction, without inserting myself in the middle of it.  I've been surprised how much nicer it is to watch my children with other people and how impressed I've been at how they've handled the situations.  And also how cute they can be in the process.

The Big Boy Update:  Behind the scenes.  He tried to get behind some built-in scenery at one of the Disney attractions the other day.  He didn't fit, but his arm did.  And out from this wedged space came an old bag of Doritos.  Whups. "Can you take that over here to the trash can for mommy?  Thank you."

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  "That red baby is cute."  We were at a mammoth excavation site (sand pit for children) at Disney and both children were having a great time digging through the "almost sand-like substance."  My daughter was in red and another little girl around age five was beside her for a while.  When they left, the father leaned over and told me his daughter said, "That red baby is cute."

Someone Once Said:  Avoid making irrevocable decisions while tired or hungry. N.B.: Circumstances can force your hand. So think ahead!