Wait to Fun Ratio

I haven't spent much time at Disney in my life.  Very little time it seems when I talk to other families and friends.  I don't feel like I missed out on Disney as a child.  My family went on a summer vacation every year to a different city because of my father.  He's a magician and every year for the fourth-of-July week, the International Brotherhood of Magicians has their annual convention.  We went wherever that year's convention was and explored the city.  Each evening, there was a magic show to cap off the day.  I had family summer vacations, they just weren't at Disney.

Every year I love to go to the state fair.   I love the state fair but I'm not a fan of the crowds.   There are definite times that will be very busy, like Saturday and Sunday.   But there are times you can get in, get everything done and not have to deal with the hassle of line, crowds and slow-moving traffic like Tuesday morning.  With the Sate Fair, there are less-busy options and I know how to maximize the fun in a given amount of time.

Disney is not quite the same.  First, people from all over the world are all trying to determine when the best times are to visit.   I don't know many people who love long lines and big mobs of people.  Apparently, the week we're visiting Disney is one of the better weeks.  But it's still busy, packed and hectic.

I have a certain tolerance.   It's what I call the "wait to fun ratio."   I'm willing to wait a certain amount of time for a certain level of fun.   But at a certain point, I would rather miss out on the fun, because the wait time or travel time is too high.   I remember one trip to Kings Dominion with friends.  Three hours drive there and three hours drive back for a day trip.   Wait times on each ride were over an hour-and-a-half.   Food?   Mediocre at best.   It was Halloween season and the park was extra busy.   I believe in the entire day we rode four rides.  It was close to five hours of, "wait time" for each two minutes of, "fun time" and I vowed never again.

The first day here at Disney we went to Epcot and enjoyed lots of little bites of food and drink at the food and wine festival.  The ride lines weren't to bad, but we didn't ride much, In the evening we went to Hollywood Studios and had a so-so meal of pizza and two of us got to ride one ride while my husband watched the children.  Ideal fun?  No, but the parks weren't that packed, the weather was nice and the children didn't seem too terribly bored.

We do have a problem with the smallest child though.   She doesn't walk more than a few steps, so you have to carry her when she's not in the stroller.   So even an attraction with a twenty minute wait involves holding her for twenty minutes in line.   If you put her down on the concrete or other floor of questionable cleanliness she will either a) scamper off across rows of people or b) try to eat whatever is on the floor.  She is not trilled about being held for long periods of time either and she lets the entire line know it by complaining (crying) loudly if she's just had enough.

We've done several shows that are 3D and require 3D glasses.  My son cares not too much, but he likes to see the great big screen and there are surrounding effects like wind blowing, bubbles appearing, water splashing to make the effect even more realistic.   My daughter, after waiting in the boring line, is just looking at another television screen and she doesn't care.   One show, she threw her pacifier on the floor three times. The nice lady beside me kept helping me find it.   (I forgot the pacifier attachment that time but won't next time.)

We had to leave one line because she was just too angry, tired and mostly tired of being in one seat or lap or set of arms after another all day with no chance to move around and get some exercise of her own.  It was late and it was after bedtime and I didn't blame her.

But wait, the next day's park was going to be the Magic Kingdom.   That park is targeted towards small children.  Surely she will have a wonderful time there.  Can you sense the sarcasm?  Do you hear the impending mommy breakdown?  Fear not, it's coming.

The day started out well as we got into the park early and went straight to Fantasyland and got in three rides before both children fell asleep for a morning nap.   It's a Small World was charming, the Peter Pan ride was floaty, dark and fun and the Philharmonic Disney experience was a nice 3D show, even if my daughter was determined to get out of my arms.

With them napping we had a snack and then met our friends.   Wait here, closed ride there, bathroom break all around for twenty minutes, and we have two antsy children, one who just wants to be active and not constrained.  Time for lunch.  Counter service and we have to leave the stroller outside.   Note here that you have to leave the strollers everywhere.   The only use they really are is for getting from one area to the other.   There is lots of carrying and holding and getting a toddler to walk when he wants to make you drag him.

Long line at the counter service.   Very long wait.   My daughter is screaming and I drench her in sticky apple juice giving her a juice box she can't quite drink so she'll calm down some.   My son is playing in a puddle of goo on the floor and when our food is finally being delivered I try to drag my son and daughter out in the mob to find our friends and get a seat, any seat, because I don't think we're going to get eleven of us at a table together, even if we managed to all find each other.

My son doesn't want to walk.  Thank you again to one of the nice parents at Disney (and these nice parents are everywhere and they are always kind and you just want to hug them,) who bent down, told my son to be a big boy and walk with mommy to go eat.  He listened and we found Jen.

My arm is about to drop my daughter and my son is being incorrigible.   Jen asks how things are going and I explode and say, "I hate Disney!"  At that point, all I wanted to do was go home to the house.   The wait to fun ratio was so heavily weighted on the wait side that I would rather be anywhere other than Disney right then.

We made it through lunch and eventually got back to the house.  It's important to add here that even though your house might be, "ten minutes from Disney," it is going to take an hour to get in and an hour to get out from door to park gates so factor that time under, "great exercise pushing the stroller but not so much fun for anything else."

From talking to some of our friends we're here with, Magic Kingdom is one of their least favorite parks because of the crowds, the large amount of small children and the narrowness of the pathways.

Somewhat refreshed, we went back out for dinner to a restaurant in Epcot and both children slept through the meal.  Today, we went to a grandiose buffet at an Animal Kingdom Resort hotel and are going to spend the afternoon at the house, in the pool and daddy is making baked ziti for dinner for everyone.

Add some years, independence and mobility to the children and I think Disney will be a more enjoyable experience for the whole family.  Overall, I don't hate Disney. But Magic Kingdom is certainly not on my list of relaxing, fun experiences with two toddlers, either.  I am fairly certain with the food and wine and beer and giant, "bast-et-bawl" at Epcot that my son can see from almost any direction, it's going to be my favorite park, bar none.

The Big Boy Update:   He likes stickers.   He's been given stickers recently while at Disney and he understands you peel the sticker off and then you put it on your shirt.  Or your arm.   Or your hair.   Regardless, you put it lots of places and as soon as you've put it one place, you must immediately remove it from that place and try it on another place.  That is, until the sticky loses it's stick or you wad it up. He got a sticker after lunch today and went over to Shealyn, who is eight, and asked for, "help, help" because he doesn't know how to peel of a sticker yet.  What he also doesn't understand is that only one side is a sticker.   After he puts the sticker on his shirt, he likes to try and put the backing on his shirt.

The Tiny Girl Chronicle:   Flamingos.  After lunch we went to the pool area to look at some of the wildlife. There was a small area with lots of flamingos.   My daughter held on to the bamboo bars and looked at them, turned around and smiled, and then looked some more.  Then she did the bounce up and down happy stand.

Fitness Update:  Four to six miles each day with a stroller is working my leg muscles in a different way.  It is not working off enough calories to merit all I'm consuming.  I may be the most food-driven person I know.

Someone Once Said:  Mama told me gently that logic had little to do with keeping a husband happy and anyone who “won” a family argument had in fact lost it.