I got you on that last one, didn't I? Boobs? This is one of those catch-up posts where I need to get several things out in one post so I don't get more and more behind on topics. So let's get the boobs part over first. I had my first mammogram today. I'm old enough to have had one by now, but I was busy being pregnant or nursing so I got to skip a few years. As it turns out, if you have stopped nursing, and then lost weight and have reduced the size of your chest by a large percentage, the mammogram isn't that uncomfortable. But I'm now a member of the mammogram club.
Spray-on Pants Season
I went through my closet and tried on my pants today as well as some of my shirts. Many of the pants were too large because I bought them for the last several years when I was not pregnant, but not at the size I usually am. So too big in the waist area. I went to the mall to get some pants. I had twenty-five minutes because I was on a tight schedule but hey, I'm an efficient shopper. I was excited because I could get some of the new styles. I got a few pair of pants, happy to note that the bell bottom style is out now. Got into the dressing room and could barely get the pants on over my legs because they were tight from the ankle to the thigh. And they were the right size for my waist. Hrm, maybe this is the style for the young kids, I think. I head over to the more mature women's section and look at the pants they have their. I have two pair in my hands when I look up at the models and see the same skin-tight pants on their plastic legs. So I put the pants back on the rack and head out. Spray-on pants aren't my thing.
Dreams and Nightmares
Have you woken up from a dream, or rather a nightmare that shook you to your core? You know the memory will fade, because that's how dreams work, but at the point of waking, that fiction you were dreaming was as real as your true reality. Last night I woke up as I was holding my daughter who was dying in my arms. All I wanted was to have the memory fade so I would stop feeling the false reality of loss. I pulled out my iPad and wrote myself an email about the dream. It was, as dreams usually are, quite strange. Here's what I wrote:
My daughter is injured. Creation is being wielded and shaped in the
new earth by an entity known as "Heal." Bringing my freed but wounded daughter to Heal and asking
for help because if he is portent to shape the earth then he could heal her.
But he is locked in motion, in a creation dance in a slowly building process.
He cannot refocus or provide the solution my daughter needs. He is sad this is not
part of his plan. But it is what must be. My daughter screams and then says she is
getting cold. I comfort her as I know she is dying from internal bleeding. I
know I must accept and not be angry.
Sugar Cravings
We went to Golden Corral for lunch. They have a huge dessert section. I love sweets. I love dessert. I've been working on removing the amount and percentage of sweets from my diet lately. I found that I didn't really care that much about dessert. I ate a small amount of ice cream and fed some of that to my daughter. I did not get a whole plate of little tastes from many of the items on the dessert bar. There may be hope for me yet.
The Big Boy Update: The No-cry drop-off. He's gotten accustomed to the school drop-off now. He is more interested in getting out of the car than he's worried about leaving us. For the last several days he hasn't even noticed me and he's had a nice conversation with the person getting him out of the car as well. He frequently asks for "Arden," who is one of his friends in his class.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: Pea Pea. No no no, not pee pee. Peas. She apparently likes peas, one at a time. She ate a lot at lunch today. And yesterday, she helped with the laundry. She pulled items out of the hamper and placed them into the trashcan. We had much less laundry to do after she had paired down the baby wardrobes via the trash.
Fitness Update: Five Miles before sunrise, in the cold. But the new fall running clothes I got yesterday kept me warm. It was great.
Someone Once Said: It’s amazing how much “mature wisdom” resembles being too tired.
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