I’m Behind In Almost Everything

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Thank Goodness We Have Professional Help Update:
My husband and I had a meeting with our play therapist for the children today.   I also had some interesting exchanges with my son and as a result his occupational therapist today as well.   It’s all interesting, and it’s all fixable, but it’s clear and present in the lives of my children right now.  

First, Dhruti, our play therapist said my daughter’s play has dramatically changed.   She was able to visually see some more things, but she couldn’t invest her attention into anything during their session.   She didn’t have an evolving story.   She wasn’t anxious, it was more like, “what’s the point?”  

She thinks my daughter is looking for control but it’s more that she’s bored.   She’s doing a finger drumming thing she describes as caterpillars on her fingers that means she’s restless, she’s bored, she wants something to do but doesn’t know what to do.    So we got homework from Dhruti to help her.

We have some activities we can send my daughter on that we can assign to her that she can do by herself.  Create a list of how many socks you have.   Weighing things to see which potato for dad’s dinner weighs more, making a paper chain for the upcoming birthday at the house, etc.   Things with no consequence—things she can be successful at that will keep her mentally occupied.  

My son is also having his challenges.   I picked him up today to go to his occupational therapist.   On the way to see Liz I had a rare conversation with him in which he gave me insight into his mind.   I asked him if he had had a good day today.   He said yes, only he would have not gotten good marks on, “focus on work during work cycle”.

He told me, “I’m behind in almost everything” which he elaborated to mean where his first year peers were at this point.   He said, “everyone works faster than I do” and then, “they think I get distracted but it’s not that.”   He told me that school was boring—“aside from the Mesozoic era and the one after that”.

And then he said, “I think it would help to see Liz more than once a week.”   Did I just hear a child as to have more occupational therapy?   Sometimes it’s fun, but it’s not always, and he has to think hard and talk about how he feels and what he can do to be successful in the classroom and with his peers when he’s with Liz.  

So I walked into the session and he and I together told Liz all of the above.   And she was proud of him.   She and he had good hour together and at the end we talked about having a parent teacher conference with both Liz and my son there (at the end).   He didn’t want to be in the conference because I think the only other conference he’s been in was one he was told he couldn’t go to a field trip due to behavior.   But he was interested in going to this one, because he’s starting to understand what’s happening in his brain.

He and Liz talked about his amygdala and how it was hijacking his thoughts.    She asked him how he felt at the beginning of work cycle when he had to start work.   He put his hands on his head and spun around quickly twice.   She asked him if that meant he was feeling anxious or unsure.   He nodded.    It’s not intelligence.   It’s not lack of ability to focus.   It’s anxiety that’s causing my son to be, “behind in almost everything”.  

We just got his progress report for the first semester and he’s not behind in almost everything, he’s doing fine.   But he’s judging himself against his peers, which can be a tough thing.   We’ve asked for a conference.  Hopefully with Liz we can help him with his anxiety and he can focus more easily on his work.