And So I’m Scared

I’m going to cut this short, mostly because I’m tired and would really, really like to have a drink right now only it’s late and I think I’m more tired than thirsty.  Anyway, I had a vision scare with my daughter tonight.   I had been in email contact with her doctor and wanted to get back to her with some more specific information on what she can see and what she just can’t.    The result of my little test—which involved jelly beans—was that my daughter can see almost nothing in the right eye.   So yeah, I panicked.  

I lost it.  I couldn’t keep it together.   I called my neighbor and asked for advice.   She told me it was time to call the doctor directly.   I complained, saying I didn’t want to use her personal phone number in the evening and I should go through normal channels.   My neighbor said this was one of those times to not give a fuck and make the call.   If you haven’t read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, now is the time to take sidetrack and do so.  

She was right.  I made the call.   I left my daughter’s doctor a message and I also called my neighbor who is a retina surgeon and specialist and ask her for some advice too.   They both called me back and spent lots of time talking through the current state of my daughter’s eyes.  Or, more to the point, what we think the state of her eyes are; it’s hard to tell when she doesn’t want to tell us anything, even with jelly beans.

Dr. Grace is going to look into things tomorrow.   My neighbor suggested we change one of the medications to a different variety.    Several other people are looking into connections they have in the field of vision, children, retinas, inflammation and/or anything else that might be germane to what’s happening now.

The one thing that’s calmed me somewhat is my neighbor’s advice about how the atropine is affecting my daughter’s eyes.  She said don’t test her vision up close, because the drops aren’t allowing her to focus within that range.   Ask questions at six to eight feet away and see what we find out that way.

Hopefully the behavior we’re seeing now, which is my daughter not using the right eye at all (which I found out was more detached) may be okay.    It’s just not the improvement we were all hoping to see.

The Big Boy Update:  We eat at a sushi restaurant fairly often.   The tables there are glass topped, and underneath are carved scenes in wood.   My son may have noticed them before, but the last time we were there he suddenly became interested in them.   He told us an entire story about what was happening to the people under the glass.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  More test results continue to come in.   I think we’re at over twenty-five tests or battery of tests coming back now, all of which show normal or negative results.   And yet we have inflammation and vision problems.   So frustrating.

Fitness Update:  Five miles running.   I almost slept in.   I’m glad I didn’t.