My daughter’s vision is so confusing. She doesn’t let us know what she can and can’t see on a daily, or in some cases even hourly basis. Maybe that’s for the best because if she told us how it was fluctuating (negatively) I might not be able to maintain my calm grip on sanity. The space between what you might imagine her vision is and what her vision actually is has become a deep, dark hole. We just don’t know.
She should be seeing better, shows signs of seeing better and then, today, had all appearances of seeing far less than she was able to before. She couldn’t see the car seat in the car or the seat in the second row. She was using her hands instead of her eyes to find things. Is it worse? Or was she keeping her eyes closed some of the time because we forgot her sunglasses and she was blinded by the light? I don’t know. We couldn’t tell. She didn’t say.
On June 6th my daughter will have another surgery, this time on her right eye, to open up the scar tissue preventing her from (potentially) seeing. Will she be able to see anything after that? We don’t know. My biggest hope is for an accurate refraction while she’s under anesthesia so we can get her appropriate lenses in her glasses and hopefully so she’ll be able to see things a little more clearly.
The Big Boy Update: My son did not want to go outside today. He’d had a bit too much digital time so given the two options of spending time alone in his room or going outside, he opted for outside. Only he didn’t really want to be there. He stayed on the front porch and explained how he hated me and wanted to kill me. I figured this meant he was hungry. A granola bar and some orange juice and he happily ran off to play with the other children playing outside.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter prefers the +17 lenses. I’ve offered the more powerful. +22 glasses multiple times but she always refuses. Tonight after her bath I put the +22 glasses on without telling her, wondering if she could see better with them. That test lasted only a few minutes with her becoming frustrated, saying she couldn’t see. So good news in some part is her prescription is likely less than +22.
Sunday, May 7, 2017
Saturday, May 6, 2017
The Laws of Physics
Sometimes children don’t understand things. As adults we can understand their confusion and frustration, for example when they don’t see why they can’t have every single toy they want. It’s our job as parents to help them navigate through a realistic world and be there for them when reality isn’t what they envisioned it to be.
My children are typically hungry at a point suddenly and without notice. At these time it is imperative (to them) that hot, delicious, made to order food be delivered to them immediately. Dealing with meal availability and readiness is something that continues to crop up.
I walked into the kitchen tonight where I saw my son at his dinner place, clearly unhappy and my husband at the stove, quietly working on making dinner. As I walked in I heard my husband sad, “what did we say about boiling pasta?” to my son. When all he got was a sullen, quiet response, dad followed up with, “that it has to obey the laws of physics. And that means dinner won’t be ready for another twelve minutes.”
The Big Boy Update: My son was mad. At the point of writing this I don’t even remember what he was upset about but I do remember him saying to me in his hateful voice, “you’re gonna pay for that!”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter accepts help readily. She almost always accepts your hand when you hold it out to her for guidance. Lately she’s declined a few times. I’d like to hope it’s due to her change in vision, but I might just be wishful thinking there.
My children are typically hungry at a point suddenly and without notice. At these time it is imperative (to them) that hot, delicious, made to order food be delivered to them immediately. Dealing with meal availability and readiness is something that continues to crop up.
I walked into the kitchen tonight where I saw my son at his dinner place, clearly unhappy and my husband at the stove, quietly working on making dinner. As I walked in I heard my husband sad, “what did we say about boiling pasta?” to my son. When all he got was a sullen, quiet response, dad followed up with, “that it has to obey the laws of physics. And that means dinner won’t be ready for another twelve minutes.”
The Big Boy Update: My son was mad. At the point of writing this I don’t even remember what he was upset about but I do remember him saying to me in his hateful voice, “you’re gonna pay for that!”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter accepts help readily. She almost always accepts your hand when you hold it out to her for guidance. Lately she’s declined a few times. I’d like to hope it’s due to her change in vision, but I might just be wishful thinking there.
Friday, May 5, 2017
The White Scarf
There is an ongoing debate, discussion, perhaps a wondering about my daughter’s vision. Is it improved? Has it been dramatically changed with the cataract removal for the worse? It’s infernally hard to find out from my daughter because she doesn’t tell us directly. We have to go with observational evidence and feedback from the experts who can better interpret my daughter’s actions.
The Vision Impairment teacher has been concerned. She’s said not only is my daughter’s vision worse, she’s highly frustrated by it and has broken down in tears and been resistant to working at school as a result.
The Orientation and Mobility teacher has said the opposite, indicating there has been an improvement in navigational capabilities and possibly more sighted input, even given the very incorrect sunglasses prescription we have at this time.
We got lucky and Dhruti, our play therapist, had a session this afternoon. I’ll find out what she thinks when we have a chance to talk on my daughter’s level of frustration in comparison to possible improvement. We also had Chelsea, our music therapist today and she told a different story altogether.
They’ve been playing a scarf game for months. Today my daughter said, “I didn’t know we had a brown scarf!” Then later she said, “when did you get a white scarf?” As you might guess, there were no new scarves, but their colors were suddenly brighter and more discernible. Chelsea said from her perspective she’s seeing all kinds of new things and her spatial orientation is much improved.
So hopefully some things are better, even though we’re still going through an adjustment period and in need of a correct refraction and glasses to match.
The Big Boy Update: My son went off to overnight camp in the large forest beside our neighborhood this afternoon. It’s something the kindergarten-aged children do every year. Initially my son wasn’t that excited to go but after a conversation with dad last night, not only was he okay about going, he was calmly excited about it. As he was about to leave he went over to his sister with some advice for while he was gone, saying, “be a brave girl, Reese.”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: In a conversation about balloons today my daughter inquired, “is it called floatium that goes up in balloons?” I said it was helium and it went up because it was lighter than air. She asked me next if there was another one that made the balloons go down. Yes, I said there were other gases that were heavier than air but we didn’t typically put them in balloons because it wasn’t as much fun.
The Vision Impairment teacher has been concerned. She’s said not only is my daughter’s vision worse, she’s highly frustrated by it and has broken down in tears and been resistant to working at school as a result.
The Orientation and Mobility teacher has said the opposite, indicating there has been an improvement in navigational capabilities and possibly more sighted input, even given the very incorrect sunglasses prescription we have at this time.
We got lucky and Dhruti, our play therapist, had a session this afternoon. I’ll find out what she thinks when we have a chance to talk on my daughter’s level of frustration in comparison to possible improvement. We also had Chelsea, our music therapist today and she told a different story altogether.
They’ve been playing a scarf game for months. Today my daughter said, “I didn’t know we had a brown scarf!” Then later she said, “when did you get a white scarf?” As you might guess, there were no new scarves, but their colors were suddenly brighter and more discernible. Chelsea said from her perspective she’s seeing all kinds of new things and her spatial orientation is much improved.
So hopefully some things are better, even though we’re still going through an adjustment period and in need of a correct refraction and glasses to match.
The Big Boy Update: My son went off to overnight camp in the large forest beside our neighborhood this afternoon. It’s something the kindergarten-aged children do every year. Initially my son wasn’t that excited to go but after a conversation with dad last night, not only was he okay about going, he was calmly excited about it. As he was about to leave he went over to his sister with some advice for while he was gone, saying, “be a brave girl, Reese.”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: In a conversation about balloons today my daughter inquired, “is it called floatium that goes up in balloons?” I said it was helium and it went up because it was lighter than air. She asked me next if there was another one that made the balloons go down. Yes, I said there were other gases that were heavier than air but we didn’t typically put them in balloons because it wasn’t as much fun.
Thursday, May 4, 2017
Night Visitors
We’ve been having visitors at night lately. Sometimes it happens early, sometimes much later and on occasion just before the sun comes up. I’ll be asleep or nearly so when I hear a pitter patter or a thud thud or a clump clump as one of the children comes from their shared room upstairs into our bedroom.
What happens then, depending on the child and the situation is an approach to either my side or dad’s side of the bed with a plaintive or quiet or scared calling out of our name. After we answer we find out the nature of the visitor.
Last night I first had my son who explained that he’d had a nightmare. He didn’t want to talk about what, just stay in our bed for five minutes with his head on the “baby pillow” I keep for my neck. After that he calmly walked himself back upstairs but left with a warning he might be back if the nightmare returned.
Next my daughter came down upset because she’d lost her pillow. It was no where at all, simply gone. I thought she meant her new sequin pillow Mimi had gotten for her but when it was clear I couldn’t easily send her back upstairs without help I walked up with her. As we ascended I began to understand it wasn’t another pillow, it was her main pillow. When we got to her bed she found her main pillow exactly where it always is, unmoved. She quickly pulled the comforter over her and curled up in a ball, not even bothering to answer me when I said I’d see her in the morning.
Both of those happened before my husband came upstairs from watching a movie. When he did come to bed he put his ice cream bowl in the sink and turned off the lights. Or maybe he did something else. I don’t know what he did, but it must have made noice because as soon as he’d settled into bed my daughter was back downstairs, saying she’d heard a monster.
This was unusual because first of all, they don’t typically wake to sounds we make and second, she went straight to monster in the house. Dad explained it was him and walked her back upstairs. After that we all were able to sleep through the rest of the night uninterrupted.
The Big Boy Update: My son was quite unhappy I wasn’t pulling his fried shrimp out of the oven when the alarm went of signaling time was up. I knew he was hungry but I told him if I didn’t get the oven mitts to pull out the shrimp, my hands would be sizzling like the food on the tray and I’d be a very unhappy mother with burned hands.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter asked my husband the other school morning when she came downstairs to our bedroom, “dad, are you going to get up in time for bacon?”
What happens then, depending on the child and the situation is an approach to either my side or dad’s side of the bed with a plaintive or quiet or scared calling out of our name. After we answer we find out the nature of the visitor.
Last night I first had my son who explained that he’d had a nightmare. He didn’t want to talk about what, just stay in our bed for five minutes with his head on the “baby pillow” I keep for my neck. After that he calmly walked himself back upstairs but left with a warning he might be back if the nightmare returned.
Next my daughter came down upset because she’d lost her pillow. It was no where at all, simply gone. I thought she meant her new sequin pillow Mimi had gotten for her but when it was clear I couldn’t easily send her back upstairs without help I walked up with her. As we ascended I began to understand it wasn’t another pillow, it was her main pillow. When we got to her bed she found her main pillow exactly where it always is, unmoved. She quickly pulled the comforter over her and curled up in a ball, not even bothering to answer me when I said I’d see her in the morning.
Both of those happened before my husband came upstairs from watching a movie. When he did come to bed he put his ice cream bowl in the sink and turned off the lights. Or maybe he did something else. I don’t know what he did, but it must have made noice because as soon as he’d settled into bed my daughter was back downstairs, saying she’d heard a monster.
This was unusual because first of all, they don’t typically wake to sounds we make and second, she went straight to monster in the house. Dad explained it was him and walked her back upstairs. After that we all were able to sleep through the rest of the night uninterrupted.
The Big Boy Update: My son was quite unhappy I wasn’t pulling his fried shrimp out of the oven when the alarm went of signaling time was up. I knew he was hungry but I told him if I didn’t get the oven mitts to pull out the shrimp, my hands would be sizzling like the food on the tray and I’d be a very unhappy mother with burned hands.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter asked my husband the other school morning when she came downstairs to our bedroom, “dad, are you going to get up in time for bacon?”
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
Trampoline Mud Pie
The Big Boy Tiny Girl Mess In The Back Yard Story of the Day:
It was after dinner, it was during that time where the long rays of sunlight make everyone look like they’re taller and than their childhood years and hides the dirt that seems to regularly cover all the children that live in this house. I looked outside to see six children in the backyard with buckets, small plastic shovels, some bulbs they’d dug up or town out and a lot of mud. Oh, and the mini trampoline.
I’m not sure what their plan was, because from the gesticulations there were differing opinions, but something important was going down—this much was evident from the amount of pine straw being piled on top of the mud on top of the sand on top of the trampoline they’d drug across the yard.
I ventured outside to see if I could make sense of things but when I got close, I decided it was more fun to just let them have at it because fun is a commodity we lose sight of as we get older.
A short while later my husband came out on the deck and decided remote hand and feet washings were due using the hose and spray nozzle one floor above the children. This, it turns out wasn’t a punishment but a fun end to the evening’s play.
It was after dinner, it was during that time where the long rays of sunlight make everyone look like they’re taller and than their childhood years and hides the dirt that seems to regularly cover all the children that live in this house. I looked outside to see six children in the backyard with buckets, small plastic shovels, some bulbs they’d dug up or town out and a lot of mud. Oh, and the mini trampoline.
I’m not sure what their plan was, because from the gesticulations there were differing opinions, but something important was going down—this much was evident from the amount of pine straw being piled on top of the mud on top of the sand on top of the trampoline they’d drug across the yard.
I ventured outside to see if I could make sense of things but when I got close, I decided it was more fun to just let them have at it because fun is a commodity we lose sight of as we get older.
A short while later my husband came out on the deck and decided remote hand and feet washings were due using the hose and spray nozzle one floor above the children. This, it turns out wasn’t a punishment but a fun end to the evening’s play.
Tuesday, May 2, 2017
Slime Bath
My children love Five Below. If you’re familiar with The Dollar Store then you know the concept. Five Below is a store where items are five dollars or less, typically in increments of a dollar. When the children have accomplished something like filling a chore chart or completing something important we’ll take them to the store and let them pick out anything they like, knowing the price point won’t be any higher than five dollars.
My mother and father are returning to their mountain home and they wanted to get the children something as a going away present. We had talked about the mall, but since there is a much higher potential cost with things they might select there, coupled with the fact my children had been requesting a trip to the dollar store lately, I suggested we go there with my mother after school today.
There were no complaints from the youth in the car after carpool pickup. My mother had never been to Five Below—a colorful cacophony of products and pop culture. I think we could have spent hours there, the children slowly wasting away into starvation, not caring, because they were touching and looking at exciting products, many of which they wanted to put into the cart and take home.
They each selected something and I picked out a Slime Bath product which we added to their bath water tonight. Imagine a bath turned green and slimy and you have an idea what we had going. Imagine squeals and laughs. Imagine a mess. We had all of that and then some.
Thanks Mimi and Gramps for the fun presents. Thanks for the slime. We’re working on cleaning up the mess…
The Big Boy Update: On the way to school my son yelled out, “One Two Three, Quiet Game!” Then he made a correction saying, “hold on, I’m locating a flying horse”.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: I was drying my daughter’s hair when she reached out on the counter and felt my beer bottle. She was interested so I asked her if she wanted to try it. She said yes, but only a tiny bit please. This particular beer was quite bitter so I didn’t expect her to like it but I poured it into a glass and she tried it. Her response? “Ew, I don’t want to waste your beer mom, you have the rest.”
My mother and father are returning to their mountain home and they wanted to get the children something as a going away present. We had talked about the mall, but since there is a much higher potential cost with things they might select there, coupled with the fact my children had been requesting a trip to the dollar store lately, I suggested we go there with my mother after school today.
There were no complaints from the youth in the car after carpool pickup. My mother had never been to Five Below—a colorful cacophony of products and pop culture. I think we could have spent hours there, the children slowly wasting away into starvation, not caring, because they were touching and looking at exciting products, many of which they wanted to put into the cart and take home.
They each selected something and I picked out a Slime Bath product which we added to their bath water tonight. Imagine a bath turned green and slimy and you have an idea what we had going. Imagine squeals and laughs. Imagine a mess. We had all of that and then some.
Thanks Mimi and Gramps for the fun presents. Thanks for the slime. We’re working on cleaning up the mess…
The Big Boy Update: On the way to school my son yelled out, “One Two Three, Quiet Game!” Then he made a correction saying, “hold on, I’m locating a flying horse”.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: I was drying my daughter’s hair when she reached out on the counter and felt my beer bottle. She was interested so I asked her if she wanted to try it. She said yes, but only a tiny bit please. This particular beer was quite bitter so I didn’t expect her to like it but I poured it into a glass and she tried it. Her response? “Ew, I don’t want to waste your beer mom, you have the rest.”
Monday, May 1, 2017
The Last Supper
It’s that time of year again. My parents relocate here for the winter months but come May 1st they return to their home in the mountains. It always seems like a short four months, but we’re glad they’re close for the months they’re here. My father dubber our dinner tonight, “the last supper” but we hope they’ll have a reason to come visit soon. We’ll have to plan a trip to visit them as well; my children love to spend time in the mountains with them.
The rest of tonight’s post is some things my children have said that made us laugh…
The Big Boy Update:
Getting Lost With Papa: My father-in-law is excellent at “getting lost”. I’m not certain he’s truly lost, he’s just not in a hurry to go where the rest of us are heading. While we were in Palm Springs my son was with him and when we were eventually reunited my son said, “It’s all Papa’s fault because he gave in when I wanted to walk.”
Papa’s Children: My son was talking to my brother-in-law at the pool about Nana and Papa and demonstrated he had a pretty spot-on understanding of family relations when he said, “Papa married someone and had three children. Then he de-married her. Then he married Nana and had dad.”
Driving a Tesla: Again, my son grasps important concepts of the world by stating on the way to school, “driving looks pretty easy if you have a Tesla. All you need to know how to do is read.”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles:
Teacher Workday: My daughter explained to my mother tonight, “Friday is a teacher workday. We don’t go to school because the teachers have to all talk to each other.”
You’ll be dead: My daughter was very insightful when talking to my mother, explaining, “when I get to adult land you’ll be dead.” Then she thoughtfully added, “When I get to adult land I want to have a baby so I’ll have someone to take care of.”
New Lucy: My children aren’t completely able to distinguish the difference between flora and fauna at this age. My daughter knows we buried our dog’s ashes under a tree we planted to remember her by. My daughter explained, “we planted the ashes and we’re going to grow a new Lucy.”
The rest of tonight’s post is some things my children have said that made us laugh…
The Big Boy Update:
Getting Lost With Papa: My father-in-law is excellent at “getting lost”. I’m not certain he’s truly lost, he’s just not in a hurry to go where the rest of us are heading. While we were in Palm Springs my son was with him and when we were eventually reunited my son said, “It’s all Papa’s fault because he gave in when I wanted to walk.”
Papa’s Children: My son was talking to my brother-in-law at the pool about Nana and Papa and demonstrated he had a pretty spot-on understanding of family relations when he said, “Papa married someone and had three children. Then he de-married her. Then he married Nana and had dad.”
Driving a Tesla: Again, my son grasps important concepts of the world by stating on the way to school, “driving looks pretty easy if you have a Tesla. All you need to know how to do is read.”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles:
Teacher Workday: My daughter explained to my mother tonight, “Friday is a teacher workday. We don’t go to school because the teachers have to all talk to each other.”
You’ll be dead: My daughter was very insightful when talking to my mother, explaining, “when I get to adult land you’ll be dead.” Then she thoughtfully added, “When I get to adult land I want to have a baby so I’ll have someone to take care of.”
New Lucy: My children aren’t completely able to distinguish the difference between flora and fauna at this age. My daughter knows we buried our dog’s ashes under a tree we planted to remember her by. My daughter explained, “we planted the ashes and we’re going to grow a new Lucy.”
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