Blindfolded

I've been trying to reach my son.  Trying to get him to see we're not favoring his sister over him.   It's been hard to get through to him that some things we're just going to have to help her with.   For instance, if she drops something on the floor, we need to encourage her to find it for herself.   The skills she has learned to sweep in a pattern until she locates the item in a predictable pattern is a life skill for a blind person, not a punishment because we think she shouldn't have dropped the item.   And yet when the dropped thing has rolled far away, it seems almost unfair to have her look for a long time, only to get dejected at not finding it—especially when she knows everyone around her can see exactly where the thing is. 

My son believes we favor his sister in other ways.  Some of this is only coming to light now, but he believes we spend more time with her.   In a way, he's right.  But it's because she asks, and asks, and asks to do things with us.   She is bored and she loves to do things with people.   She is a very social person.   We feel bad for her that we say no as many times as we do.   But to my son, he just sees that we're doing things with her more than him.

We try to do things with him, but he doesn't accept our offers much of the time.   Prior to the, "No screens until you read three big books" standoff, that wasn't as apparent to him we think.   He's now noticing more because he's experiencing boredom on some level as well, although he's been doing a lot of interesting drawing, LEGO, and creative work.   He's also been receptive to having us do things with him more. 

Tonight, I decided to try something to see if I could trigger some empathy in him.  He and I were folding laundry in his room.   I told him we were going to blindfold ourselves and see what it was like to do laundry blind, like his sister has to do so every week.   Maybe, I thought, he would understand why I helped her with certain things and didn't with him.   He wasn't seeing that even though I helped my daughter in some areas of her laundry, she had to do additional work in other areas, but this wasn't about that. 

Greyson was happy about putting on the blindfolds.   We set a timer for ten minutes and both sorted the laundry.   And we did well.   I was surprised, although not completely so.   We did the easy part at just dividing up the laundry into piles of the same things like shirts, pants, socks, etc.   My son wanted to do another ten minutes and I agreed.  He told his sister about the plan and what we'd been doing and I fumbled down the hall to hang her shirts with a basket in my hands and a blindfold over my eyes.  

I found her closet floor completely covered in soft things.   I had only just cleared out the mess to get to the hangers by the time my son came to let me know the timer was up.   I don't know how much of the message got through, but we're trying.   

The Big Boy Update:  My son played outside today with friends on the street.   They all played well together and my son seemed to have a good time without trying to show off and control all the play.   He likes to run the show, which not everyone enjoys, especially when he's forceful about his opinions of what everyone should be doing.   I think it was a good day for him.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has learned how to make that pop sound you can make with your mouth by tucking your lips over your teeth, pressing down and then pulling them out quickly.   She worked hard to figure it out, especially since she had to do so mostly on descriptions.   She was showing off tonight and said, "It's amazing what the human body can do."

Paging Mom and Dad

We love the Amazon Echos.   We what feels like a slew of them in the house.   My husband bought one before they were generally available way back when they were in beta testing mode.   At that time the children's voices weren't understood by Alexa.   It would infuriate them as they tried, again and again, to get her to understand them in their tiny, little voices only to have her ignore everything they said after her name.  My husband and I would say the exact same thing and she would understand us on the first try.  

Today, we've upgraded models multiple times, relocating the older versions to other, less-used locations in the house.  At this point, most spots we spend time in, including the bedrooms, have their own Alexa communication device and Alexa not only understands the children, but she can also figure out what we're saying when more than one person is talking over you.   

The technology can be very useful.   And annoying. 

You can reach someone by connecting to their location using, "drop in" which starts an open conversation with those two Echos just like double-ended speakerphone call.   You can also send a message to all the Echos in the house.   This is also nice when my husband wants to let us know dinner is ready.   It's definitely useful when someone is hurt and we need to know.   But it is also a way to pester parents when we don't want to be pestered.

Typical messages are along the lines of, "Mom (or Dad) can you come here?"   We're starting to crack down on this, letting them know we're not going to even consider coming unless they let us know why—because it's usually something like, "she's touching me" or some other equally important situation only we can handle. 

Tonight my son announced, "Mom and dad, you need to come up here NOW!"   My husband and I looked at each other and I responded, "Why?"   My daughter was in my son's room and he didn't want her there.  So we needed to come up "NOW" to handle it.   We didn't budge.   The number of additional interruptive messages we got after telling them we were sure they could work it out themselves was annoying, but hopefully, they'll start to get the message that we're not interested in being paged for trivial reasons.  

The Big Boy Update:  My son wanted to go outside with his socks on today.  I told him not to.  Twice.  Firmly.   I found the socks on the floor at dinner wrong-side out.  I turned them out and found them caked with leaves and dead grass.   My son had to clean them off.  If he wants to do that in the future, he can use his own money to buy socks and then throw them away, because they're not going in the laundry, I told him, so they can get leaves all over our clothes. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has taken down swings on the play set on multiple occasions to stop other children (whom she feels don't like her or won't let her play with them) multiple times.   This is happening when there are children in our back yard when our children aren't outside, something we've allowed as our neighbor's children need to get out and not go crazy inside too.   But my daughter has been around in other areas when this has been happening and she's not being nice because I think she's afraid of not being accepted—so she's making sure she's not accepted by dropping the swings.   She is not allowed to do it again or all the swings will be put away, I told her.   She was horrified because then she couldn't use the swings.   Good, I told her.   So don't remove the swings from the set and leave them on the ground anymore.   

Road Rage

I picked my son up from school today and he nearly had a conniption fit in the car.   He found out something I'd told him this morning, but he said he didn't know.  I was talking to them while they were eating breakfast, but he's like his father in his ability to single focus incredibly well at the expense of not being able to multi-task without some effort.   

I don't know if he was concentrating on his toast or what he was going to do at school or who knows what, but I explained that their father had a commitment during the time of school pickup, so I would be getting them both after school. 

I told them this specifically this morning because my son hates it when he gets picked up and then has to ride to go get his sister.   If possible, we each go get one child because his school is quite close while my daughter's school, which has the VI specialty, is in the next town over, bordering on the town after that. 

My son smashed into something in the back seat or thrashed his backpack around.   I turned around and his teacher, who had heard it through the closed car door, came over.   I explained the situation, pointedly saying how his sister did that drive to and then from school twice every day and he was being upset about doing it once. 

Ms. Michelle responded in a calm voice, "that's families" and her soothing voice calmed my son in a way. As we drove to Reese's school, Greyson was manifesting his anger in different ways.   I told him he was very fortunate because if we could pick him up separately, we did so.   And that what I expected from him was gratitude for those times, not anger because he wasn't being picked up alone. 

That was hard.   I knew it was going to be hard to turn high anger into gratitude, so I told him it was okay today to be angry and that I understood, but that the next time his father or I picked him up and took him straight home, to say thank you.   I told him that would go a long way. 

He understood, he told me.  And I really think he did get it.   The question is, will he remember it the next time he's picked up?

The Blameful Boy Update:  My son was angry in the car this afternoon.  He was looking to take some of his frustrations out on something and his sister was an obvious target.  When she got in the car he tried several times to criticize her, which I stopped.   Kindness...is it too much to ask?

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter's braillist was putting the large, heavy, roller backpack into the trunk of our car today on the week we lost our lead VI teacher.   She said, "Thank God It's Friday" to which I responded, "TGIF!"   The children hadn't heard the phrase before and Reese particularly enjoyed saying the 'God' word.   I asked her to use 'Goodness' instead, please.   She thought that was a good replacement word once I'd explained it was a better choice.

Coolwhip

The Big Boy Mom Dessert Update:  My son and I have a dessert we love: Coolwhip.   I know, it's supposed to be something you put on top of your dessert, but he and I like to just have a bowl full.   It's light and fluffy and a large container of Coolwhip goes quickly in this house.   I even have a special Coolwhip spoon I keep by the refrigerator for when I'm hungry.   

The TIny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is making a model of the Mars lander in art class.   She was very specific on what she wanted for materials from an idea perspective.   I had to translate her ideas into craft things I had that I could send her to school with.   She took a bag to school today with enough options for three landers.   I'm looking forward to seeing what she creates.   

A Change in Attitude

I've been stressed lately.  I could say there was a lot of stress on me, but realistically, I'm putting it on myself.   I seem to be able to overcommit myself time and time again.   And then I set milestones and goals and what also happens time and time again is there is just not enough hours in the day to get accomplished what I had set out to do for the day. 

My husband is running into the same thing.   The children at home for so much of this calendar year has put us behind from where we would like to have been on several things.   Each day he'll say, "I'm going to get the such-and-such done today" and then it's eleven at night and he hasn't even been able to start on it.   By then, we're both tired and don't want to embark on something that might take us several hours, only to find we can't complete the item for a hitherto unknown reason. 

The difference, I think, is attitude.   My husband doesn't seem bothered by this.  Tomorrow is another day, as the saying goes, and he picks up where he left off the day before without complaining or worrying.   I am the opposite in a lot of ways. 

I lament that I wasn't able to get the work I had wanted to complete finished.   I fret that time is passing and things are still incomplete.   And I complain about the above situations.   And I hate when I complain. 

I have a friend that kindly listen to me complain.   He had cancer a number of years back and he said it put a whole different perspective on things.   He didn't worry so much and was fine if things took longer to complete than he had hoped they would. 

I thought about those words and that night I told him thanks for the advice.   He replied that he didn't mean to sound preachy, and I told him it didn't come across that way at all.   Still, I told him, thanks for the advice because I'm trying to adopt the same for me.

So far, so good.   I don't know how long it will las, but I'm going to continue to try and not worry so much about deadlines and goals.   Even my husband said he was thinking about saying something to me because of the amount of stress I was bringing down on myself.

The Big Boy Update:  My son still has no screens.   He is, however, working towards getting them back, both in reading the required books, but also in changing his attitude.   He did several things towards that goal today, including some positive interactions with his sister.   

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter talked to Scott today.   Or rather he asked her questions and recorded their conversation.   Initially, she said she was only going to talk to him for three minutes but she ended up talking for almost forty minutes.   She knows about the podcast, but she thinks it's about our family and isn't as focused on her blindness.

Some Days Nothing Goes Right

I bet I'm not alone in having days that go from one mishap to another.  One wrong step to the next.  One thing broken only to find when that's fixed that another thing is kaput.   3D printing can feel like that sometimes.    It's hardware that is all working in concert to turn little strands of melted plastic into something recognizable.   All those parts can rebel on you when you least expect them to. 

I have some new hardware in the 3D printing realm here at the house.   Some of it has been put together and is working in the print room (mechanical room, workshop, pinball room,or as I think of it, the fun room.)  Some days are decidedly not fun, though. 

We had a timing belt that was loose on the new chidren't printer.  It came that way from the manufacturer. I looked online for instructions on how to adjust it but there were none.   There was a video for another one of the timing belts, but it was an easy one to adjust, not the difficult to reach one I needed to fix.   I sent an email to the company asking for instructions, saying I could do it myself if they'd tell me the best way to access it. 

There are components all connected together.   They have wires.   Some of the parts get very hot so they can melt plastic.   Tolerances are tight so that the plastic is melted just right.   But I could do it, I told myself.  

With no word back, and my patience on the thin side, I started taking the extruder apart.   Thirty careful minutes later and I discovered everything I'd done was for naught because the spot I needed to reach was below where I could reach with the current disassembly.  

I won't go into the details, but getting everything happy again was a bear.   And a mean bear at that.   I'm tired so I'm writing this short little blog post and going to bed.  I'll figure out the belt tomorrow.   And I hopefully won't cause more trouble in the process. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son has created several more games as he avoids reading the three books he needs to read in order to get any screens back.  He did ask if he could take the largest of the books to school to read during their reading time there.   Maybe he'll be ready for screens this weekend.   I'm still in no hurry. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Today we said goodbye to Mrs. Sample, my daughter's TVI or Teacher of the Visually Impaired.   This is the teacher who taught her braille and many of the other skills she's learned specific to her blindness while at school.  Mrs. Sample retired, and while we're happy for her, I'm also sad to see her go.    I think we all are.   She was much beloved. 

The Printed Drawing

Today I got a package in the mail that's been a bit long-awaited because of a pile of bad weather that ground shipping of packages across the country to a near-standstill for a while.   I knew from checking updates on tracking numbers that the little box was out for delivery and when the dog barked, I knew it was here.  

I got to the front door to find a box that was smaller than I expected.   What was inside was a 3D printer for children called the ToyBox.   It's a printer redesigned from the ground up to be easy to work with, low on maintenance, and approachable by children.   

I opened the box, took off the copius packing, plugged it in, and turned it on.   Then I downloaded the app, created an account, and logged in.   I told it I had a new printer and then it saw the printer.  It asked to connect to the Wifi and then we were connected and ready to go.  

That is unheard of.   I have several printers but more than that, I know about lots and lots of printers because from a media perspective, I spend almost all of my time consuming videos, websites, reviews, and anything else about 3D printing.   I've become sort of a nerd when it comes to 3D printing.   It's not that other printers couldn't do the same thing, but it's more of a hobbyist field at this point and people want a printer they can modify, upgrade, tinker with and change about.   Plug and play doesn't fit into that model. 

And that's okay.   But for a family who wants to get children interested in 3D printing, this little ToyBox is a pure delight.  Not only was it easy to set up, once I'd gotten the printer connected, I could click on all kinds of fun models and print them.  My son would be all over this, picking the Minecraft models and robots to start and then branching out into the huge library of other models he could choose to print, all for free. 

For my daughter, there is a drawing area.  She could draw and then have her model printed into a printed squiggle.   She did just this tonight.   We can also take a picture and turn it into a raised version that could be printed and she could feel.   Those two things alone are very special features other printers don't have, mostly because they're printers and not a printer with a child-focused app together. 

I have my daughter's rarely-used iPad beside the printer and tomorrow she wants to do more drawings.  My son wants to see what other Minecraft models are and I'm fairly certain he'll like lots of other things on the first page alone.  

And it prints fast.   Children don't want to wait five hours for a print so this printer is calibrated to print fast.   Many models only take ten minutes, which is exceptionally fast.   I had things to do today, but I kept coming back and sending more things to the little ToyBox because even though I'm an adult, it's a lot of fun to print with it. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son still has had no screens returned to him—all because he refuses to read three books.  Tonight he created another game with customer medium-sized color-specific LEGO models. He and his father were mapping out gameplay when I came upstairs before bedtime. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter got new shoes the other day as well as some ankle boots she bought with her own money because she knows I like boots.   We both agreed to wear our boots today.  I've been trying to get her to wear boots for years.   She looked so nice in them today, as opposed to the ratty sneakers she usually wears.  She told me tonight she liked wearing them.   I said I was wearing mine again tomorrow.   I wonder if she'll wear hers too?