The Samarth Surprise

My daughter’s school transportation has changed a lot since the beginning of the year.   Different van drivers, different students and different routes to and from school.   Some of this is because of the track system, some of it is driver changeover and some of it is working on best student to route optimization.   Some of the drivers and students my daughter has liked a lot while some of them she hasn’t gotten along with so much, like the “baby” who would steal her cane and cry a lot.

The current ride situation is by far the best.   She gets picked up first but gets to school earlier too.   She also has her visually impaired classmate, Aditi, in the van with her.   This gives the two of them time outside of class both to and from school to talk and play games.   She has another student in the car either to or from school, or maybe both, I’m not sure.  His name is Samarth and she’s been talking about his birthday party for a week or two.

She’s in a school that has autism spectrum and visually impaired students that are brought to her regular elementary school from areas far outside of the school’s normal district.   That means the students in my daughter’s van are autistic spectrum or visually impaired, like her friend Aditi.

The first and second quarter she had some autism spectrum children that were mentally boring to her and we had some issues with anger and frustration from that boredom.   This quarter she has her friend in the van with her and that’s helped a lot.  I don’t know who Samarth is, but I knew he was older and I thought I had met him a few times before.   He was in fifth grade, my daughter had told me, and he wants me to come to his birthday party.    It’s soon, so we need to go to his house.

I didn’t think much of it until today when I was emptying her backpack and found an envelope in the bottom with her name on it.   And guess what?  She had been invited to Samarth’s eleventh birthday party.   Oh dear, how long had the envelope been languishing in her backpack?   I called and left a message with the mother RSVPing.   I got a phone call back a short while later and discovered that the invitation had just come today and she was so glad my daughter could come.

When I asked my daughter about this she told me Samarth had given her the envelope today.  I’m not sure why I didn’t ask her, she always knows these things.   The lack of vision makes memory and everything else come into sharp contrast.

So, party RSVP complete, calendar entry added and now I had to figure out what to get a fifth grader for a present.   I asked my daughter what Samarth might like.   I was hoping she had an idea because I didn’t know what his mental capacity was if he was autism spectrum.   She told me he wanted a clicker.   “A clicker,” I asked?   She said it was so he could find his way around.   Wait, why would he need a clicker?  She told me like the character in one of her shows who couldn’t see, how he has a clicker.   Then she followed up with, “you know, Samarth’s completely blind.”

Oh.   No, I didn’t know.   Well, I did sort of.  I knew there was a fifth grader who was completely blind at her school but I hadn’t made the connection until she told me.

So back to the birthday present.   What do you get for a blind fifth-grader?   I haven’t the faintest idea.   Nothing at all.   She told me, “he already has plenty of paper” so braille paper is out and I’m guessing any braille supplies and books are specially ordered in braille and we don’t know what his reading level is or if he has them.   Anything you can think of that you need to see to do or understand is out for a completely blind child.

So I just went for it and ordered Pie Face the game.   My children love it and even though it’s 5+ in age, the adults have had fun playing it with the children and it’ll be fine coming from a kindergartner to a fifth grader.   Well, that and the pair of clickers I found that my daughter said she’s going to split with Samarth.   Presents ordered, we’re now looking forward to the party on Saturday.

The Big Boy Update:  After the Falcon Heavy rocket launch yesterday where my son saw a car launched into space, he wanted to talk to my husband and me about cars.   He said he’d decided to create his own car company when he grew up named ‘Moro’.   The logo for the car was going to be a fox.  (My son’s middle name is Fox.)   I told him I hoped he’d sell me one when he started making them.    He was quiet for just a second and then said he was going to give me one for free.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  After dinner tonight I told my daughter we had new dessert choices (by way of new Yasso pops in the freezer).   I listed the new choices and she told me she wanted the chocolate chip cookie dough (not surprisingly).   I asked her if she was sure, some of the new flavors sounded interesting.   She replied, “what are you waiting for, I put in an order.”

Falcon Heavy Test Launch

The SpaceX Falcon Heavy Test launch today was an exciting event in our house.   My husband messaged me while my son was in his OT session that it was seven minutes until launch so I got my iPad out and pulled up the live video.    By the time my son was out of his session he, the therapist and I were watching the latter portions of the launch.

SpaceX and Tesla have a good bit of whimsy they apply to the serious work they do.   The Falcon Heavy test launch needed test cargo—expendable cargo—so Elon Musk offered up his Tesla Roadster, the first ever production run Tesla car.    The car was outfitted with a spacesuit from SpaceX with a driver nicknamed, “Starman”.

We talked about what happened today during bath time with the children and asked them if they’d like to see the launch before bedtime as they’d both missed it live.   They did.    My favorite part was watching the two boosters land perfectly on their pads within a second of each other, just like rocket ships have landed in countless science fiction movies.

After watching the launch replay, my husband brought up the live feed of the roadster in space with his passenger, on its way to Mars and then to be gravity boosted around towards the sun where it will orbit, the first car in space, for probably millions of years.

Images of the movie Heavy Metal run through my head as we looked the live feed of the roadster on the way to Mars and the message of “Don’t Panic!” written on the car’s screen makes me smile and think of, The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.  It was a great day for technology and a fun thing to watch for my children.

The Big Boy Update:  My son and I got on the phone with dad after school.  My son wanted to place an order for dinner:  “a lot of salmon, spinach, mushrooms and zucchini.”   Yes, he wants to eat junk like most children, but he does like some healthy things.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter heard my phone vibrate on the desk the other day (I keep it on silent).   She said, “Mom, your phone's sizzling.”

Bib and Tires

It’s my birthday.   We don’t typically celebrate birthdays of adults in any special way at our house.   This morning was like most other mornings with breakfast being preceded by complaints from the children on how it’s unfair that they have to get dressed before being served, followed by dawdling and not wanting to brush their teeth or get their shoes on.   But the day was sunny and everyone was in a good mood so I’m going to count that as a win overall.

After taking my son to school I talked with my husband about the tire pressure issue we had with one of our tires that had popped up over the weekend.   He planned to have the tire checked (he wanted to do the checking, on account of him having strong feelings about what should be done).   This was fine with me because I didn’t particularly want to deal with the tire.    We were pretty sure the tire was going to need to be replaced considering this was the second incident with that particular tire.

And we were right, the tire had a finishing nail in it close to the rim.   The tires were close to replacement time anyways and the recommendation was to replace both back tires.   So for the second time in my life I got tires for my birthday.   One year, some time ago most likely more than half my life back, I got tires for my birthday.   I had a Honda Accord.   I loved that little silver car with grey interior.   I was in college so it had to be before 1992 and I was in need of new tires.    My mother and father graciously got me a new set of tires for my birthday.   And I was happy.   Nothing like new tires.  

I know, I know, it’s not an exciting birthday present, but the day’s gifts weren’t over yet.  When I got in from hanging out with my best friend at her office where she and I  talked about all manner of topics given that we haven’t had a chance to catch up in a while, there were two wrapped packages on the counter from my husband.   Should I wait to open them until the children got home?  No, he said, they weren’t necessary for the gifts.  Also, I shouldn’t expect too much, because these weren’t those types of gifts either.

The first one was an adult bib.   I laughed.  My husband chuckled.   I am rather a mess and can make the newest of shirts dirty with only a single meal.   And this bib was to protect me from myself.  It was just what I needed, I told him, for when I cleaned up his messy pots and pans after dinner.   The second gift was equally funny: shoe covers that were like mop material so I could clean the crumbs off the floor I regularly complained about.

When the children got home I showed them my gifts.   They loved both and insisted on trying on the shoe mops so they could clean the floor for me.   Hopefully they will continue that enthusiasm going forward, but somehow I doubt it.  

The Big Boy Update:  My son was rude this morning and turned off my song on Alexa right after I started it.   He picked another song and I turned his off.    I went into the kitchen to clean and had the bar stools out ready to sweep.   I turned around and saw him pushing the chairs back in, trying to I think make amends by helping.    He didn’t want to say he was sorry, but I think he didn’t like that he hurt my feelings.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter is now trying to climb the door frames with only one leg and two hands.   This started before the badly stubbed toe, but it may have been a good thing to practice given how much her toe is still bothering her.

Compliance

My daughter has to go through a lot of medical things.   She has what our play therapist says is a “feisty” temperament.   She is definitely feisty, but she’s also a very compliant child.   There are things she doesn’t want to do—like eye drops.   They sting, they interrupt her day and they’re not fun.   But she does them and she helps us do them once she stops trying to avoid them.   She will lean her head back and hold her eyelids open for you and calmly wait for the drop to land in her eye.   Once the first drop is in she immediately shifts to holding the second eye open.   We get amazed compliments all the time when she’s somewhere like the hospital for surgery or her eye doctor’s office.  

She also listens to medical advice and try to follow doctor’s orders.   Yesterday at the orthopedist’s office the doctor told her she should wear her shoes in the house for the next two days to give her toe some extra support while it does some healing.   My daughter agreed and then she heard she couldn’t climb the door frames for a few days longer.   And she heard that too.

Yesterday she made sure to keep her shoes on whenever she was walking someplace.   She spent a bit of time on our bed on her iPad and because she knew shoes weren’t allowed on the bed, she took them off just before getting on.   I saw the shoes on the floor and because I didn’t want her to trip on them, I moved them up against the wall.

A while later I heard my name being called.   I came in to find a rather incensed daughter saying her shoes had been moved.   She didn’t want to get off the bed and walk without putting them on.  At bed time she asked me if she needed to sleep with her shoes on and this morning she came downstairs immediately and put them on before getting breakfast.

My daughter sometimes doesn’t like the things she has to do, but she is always careful to follow instructions when its explained to her how important they are.

The Big Boy Update:  Nana called today while we were in the car.   She had been talking about Hawaii and my son had a question for her.  “When we go to Hawaii can we wear those things over our pants and dance?”   Nana told him that yes, we could wear hula skirts and even take lessons.    We don’t have a trip to Hawaii planned at the moment, but it appears my son and Nana are already making initial plans.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  We had pizza last night.   My husband got it as soon as it came out of the oven after waiting in line and drove straight home.   My daughter’s pizza was hot for the first few bites and then cooled down while she worked on it over the next ten minutes.   After that she said, “Daddy, I’m freezing.  May you please warm up my pizza?”

The Non-broken Toe

My daughter stubbed her toe last night.   She doesn’t cry for long when something happens that hurts her mostly because of a combination of temperament (feisty) and experience bumping into things all the time.   She’s just used to getting hurt.   But this was different.  I was downstairs at Movie Night with our friends and when I came up an hour later she still wouldn’t put any pressure on it and refused to walk.

We iced it and put her to bed.   I took some pictures and texted them to my chiropractor asking him if he thought her right big toe might be dislocated because it was kilting out a bit and didn’t look completely normal at the second joint.   He said he couldn’t tell from the picture for sure but her bone end caps weren’t fully formed yet and from my description of her behavior both he and I thought it probably wasn’t broken.

If it was dislocated we could ice her foot for two minutes in a bucket of ice and then while we “dried off her foot” tug straight out on the toe to see if we could get the joint back in.    In the morning we did just that.   She didn’t like either and I wasn’t sure if we affected any change.   Her toe might be looking a little straighter, but she still didn’t want to really walk on it.  

So we decided to take her to the orthopedist for an x-ray.   My daughter and I got there late morning and she was limping but doing okay walking.   We had the x-rays done and on the way back to the room she noticed there were green patches in the tile—and she decided to jump up and down on them.  

Every green tile section she would jump three times on with both feet.   So yeah, we really look like we’ve overreacted now.   From the title of this post you can tell that her toe was not broken and at that point wasn’t dislocated, although we don’t know if it had been earlier.  

My daughter and I celebrated with a trip to Golden Corral, a place she’s been asking to be taken to for several weeks now.   She’s wearing shoes for support in the house for two days and isn’t suppose to climb the door frames for several more.   She has her brand new shoes on now in the chair and doesn’t seem phased at all by the purple, swollen toe anymore.

The Big Boy Update:  My son was working with Plus Plus today, making some figures he’s created on his own and likes to make from time to time.   He said to me, “Mom, I’m making a movie.   I just gave you a hint” pointing at the middle, larger character.   He said, “can you guess what movie it is?”

This was pressure on me because I had no idea.   And then I got it.   I told him the middle one was The Hulk, the red one was Iron Man, the blue one was Captain America.   He helped me with Black Widow and I got lucky and guessed Thor for the last one.   But what was the movie, he asked?   Avengers, I told him.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter has been wanting to go to Golden Corral for a good while now.   We haven’t gone because the last few times my son had an allergic reaction to something there and we’re not sure what it was.   We had planned to have a dinner where I take my daughter and my husband goes somewhere with my son.   With the toe situation today it turned out to be a good time for the two of us to go together.    She loves that place; I had to tell her we had to go finally because dad needed to leave for work and we had to get home to be with her brother.

Search Committee

Our children's Head of School has announced her retirement and has graciously done so with significant lead time so that the board of trustees can pursue finding a replacement for her.   As a trustee, I’ve been impressed with the amount of work that's been done up to this point to evaluate and select a consultant firm to assist with defining the job description, communication with the teachers and community about the process and preparation of timeline so that a replacement will be found in time while also giving the school the best opportunity to find a Head of School that will fit with all that defines our school.   The task is not small and the implications for a school can be significant if the wrong head is hired.

I was asked if I would serve on the search committee today.   My mother was involved with a search committee for the head of a museum and I know from her that the time commitment is not trivial.   The email I received stated the estimated amount of hours, peak involvement months and duration of the committee (approximately one year).

I firmly believe that our school will not be the same once our current head of school retires, but it could be something new, something different, but something that retains the core values of our existing school,   I’m looking forward to being part of the process to help the new head of school.

The Big Boy Update:  my son came downstairs today in one of the new shirts I’d gotten for him at the used clothing store.   He said, “Mom, I don’t mean to insult you, but I think this shirt's too big.”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  my daughter has strep throat.  She wasn’t upset about that, she was upset about missing Groundhog Day at school because they'd been preparing for it.   She was crying so pitifully at the doctor's office that he and the doctor couldn’t help but smile when she wasn’t looking.

I don’t Miss the Dog

Wow, that’s a bad blog post title, isn’t it?   Doesn’t it sound terrible to say I don’t miss the dog?   Let me explain first by saying those were words that ran through my head the other day and I thought the same thing about myself just for thinking them.

I do miss our dog.   She was a comfort to have around.   She was a happy dog aside from the aches and pains of being old and having bad knees.    She was sweet and would clean up every crumb of food the children left on the floor.   I think she probably ingested a pound or two of carpet fluff over the years just licking around for any food matter that might have fallen in the course of toddlers trying to get the food in their mouths.

She rode in the car well and was friendly to all adults.   Children, not so much.   She was afraid of being picked up and there were things on her that hurt that we never quite got a handle on.   Children move fast and would scare her sometimes.   But adults she’d gladly spend any amount of time with, including what was basically owner transference if we happened to go away and needed her to be taken care of by someone else (thanks Nana, Uncle Jonathan and Mimi).

She also got along with just about any dog.  She was respectful while not being submissive.   She walked well on a leash and didn’t have any phobias such as thunderstorms, although she got a few of them as she got older and specifically after the broken alarm sensor incident that happened for an entire day while we weren’t home.

And she was always happy to see us when we got home.   I still catch myself doing a few things even though she died over a year-and-a-half ago.   Sometimes when I come home as I’m opening the door I almost say, “hey Lu” in greeting.    I’ve also said more than once, “oops” in a loud voice when dropping food on the floor.   This was a word she picked up on that we didn’t realize she did for a while.   ‘Oops’ is a common thing to say when you drop something and she figured out it typically meant food for her if she got there before we could clean it up.    Once we realized that we just started saying, “OOPS” in a loud voice so we didn’t have to clean up.   We’d even drop things intentionally sometimes.

So yes, I miss our dog.   But life is less complicated with two children who run in and out of the house with their friends, trips that are taken and a dog who was in pain and in congestive heart failure.   So far, the children are fine without a dog replacement.   My husband and I are also fine with this as well.   But I do miss her sometimes even so.

The Big Boy Update:  My son created a lot of crumbs at breakfast.   His sister had created about the same number.   I told them they needed to sweep up and they could work together to get the job done more quickly.   My daughter balked.   My son, who usually does the balking, said to his sister, “I know how we can make this fun.   We can dance.”   And so he swept and danced with his sister.   I think they got about thirty percent of the crumbs while scattering another forty percent to further corners of the kitchen.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My husband told my daughter tonight, “you should practice your patience.”  My daughter said, “but I’m not a patient person.”   When I came down to dinner I sat down and was told this funny little exchange.   I stifled a laugh and went to get my phone so I could write it down to write here.   When I got back to the table my daughter said, “I know what you’re doing mom, you’re writing that down so you can put it in your blog.”   The children are picking up on this more and more lately, even making suggestions themselves on things they think are, “blog-worthy”.