There are some things I like when I’ve done them, I just don’t like doing them. I’ve been known to say many a time that I like having run, but not necessarily doing the running itself. Fortunately for me I have a running friend who makes the time go by quickly and as a result I sort of like running.
Then there are the decorations. This October my son told me we were sort of looking like losers because we didn’t have our decorations out for Halloween and the neighbors did. I tried to tell him we had some neighbors on our eleven house street that were competitive—particularly when it came to decorations—and each year it seems to be earlier and more grand.
So we got the Halloween decorations up and my son had a hand in putting things here and there and some of it didn’t make design sense to me but he was happy so I went with it. The Christmas decorations are a little more specific and some are more delicate or breakable so I’m doing it myself. I got partway done tonight but it’s late so I came down here to write this post.
I’m hoping to be done putting the Christmas decorations up tomorrow, or at least the parts I’m responsible for. My husband is working on the outside components and he’ll be the one doing the tree shopping and decorating. I’ll just be glad when it’s done so I can get on to the next holiday task—present wrapping.
The Big Boy Update: My son was with his grandparents this weekend and he must have had a conversation with them about the newspaper that they have delivered and read. He explained, “there are no newspapers anymore. The news has developed—it’s on your iPhone.”
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: We are having to set some rules with my daughter’s door frame climbing obsession. She fully feels you are obligated to walk through the door under her legs, regardless of the height of the door or the tallness of the person. We’ve explained it is not always a good time to walk under her legs. She is not thrilled with this new development, I think she thinks she owns the doorways.
Thursday, December 7, 2017
Wednesday, December 6, 2017
Where Is He Looking?
There is an interesting phenomenon that happens when more than two people are having a conversation together. The person speaking typically tends to look at one of the parties more than the other one. Let me give you an example:
We had our HVAC seasonal check-up recently. HVAC isn’t my thing, with me firmly deciding this should be something my husband cares about more than I do. But at the end of the technician’s checkup he gives us a rundown of what he saw and what his recommendations were. As he talks to the two of us he primarily looks at me. My husband is asking questions—better ones than mine—but the technician is still directing his answers in my direction. Why?
I’ve noticed this time and time again. My brother-in-law and I were talking not long ago and he was giving me an update on his latest appointment with his eye doctor. He has a complex eye situation but he is well-informed and engaged with his medical care. And yet at the checkup he noticed the doctor directing both conversation and answers to question towards my brother’s partner instead of him. Why?
There are complex social dynamics in play with the why to both of those questions. Today I ran into an entirely new one though. We took my daughter to her six-year-old wellness check. We’d seen this new doctor once before after our favorite doctor moved away and were looking forward to seeing Dr. Baldwin again.
Dr. Baldwin was great. My husband and I liked him and my daughter got along with him as well. But when he answered questions or talked to either of us he stared at this spot in the wall behind us. It was strange. If there had been a television hung on the wall behind us showing the news or a sports game I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but there was nothing there—just a wall.
It didn’t affect anything related to patient care though and we like him a lot, maybe in January when we take my son for his wellness checkup we’ll see if there was a hidden television on the wall after all.
The Big Boy Update: My son was angry at me the other day. I was telling him he had to do something or he wasn’t able to do something and I was telling him he had to calm down before he could do the next thing. I can’t remember exactly what the situation was, but I wasn’t expecting his response, “I have my own DNA!” he cried out. I agreed that he did. We got sidetracked into a discussion about DNA and before you know it he was calm again.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter and I were talking tonight as she was going to sleep in her bed. I told her it was time to be quiet and I started a song playing on Alexa. My daughter said calmly and quietly, “that’s my girl…that’s my girl…that’s my mommy…DNA of my heart…Mommy.” This was a very eloquent and poignant thing for my daughter to say. I told her that was incredibly sweet and she made my heart happy. I went over to hug her and she hugged me back and gave me a kiss. Then I asked the inevitable question, knowing the answer: “where did you hear those words?” “On a show”, she said. But she said them to me and she knew what they meant. That’s what matters to me.
We had our HVAC seasonal check-up recently. HVAC isn’t my thing, with me firmly deciding this should be something my husband cares about more than I do. But at the end of the technician’s checkup he gives us a rundown of what he saw and what his recommendations were. As he talks to the two of us he primarily looks at me. My husband is asking questions—better ones than mine—but the technician is still directing his answers in my direction. Why?
I’ve noticed this time and time again. My brother-in-law and I were talking not long ago and he was giving me an update on his latest appointment with his eye doctor. He has a complex eye situation but he is well-informed and engaged with his medical care. And yet at the checkup he noticed the doctor directing both conversation and answers to question towards my brother’s partner instead of him. Why?
There are complex social dynamics in play with the why to both of those questions. Today I ran into an entirely new one though. We took my daughter to her six-year-old wellness check. We’d seen this new doctor once before after our favorite doctor moved away and were looking forward to seeing Dr. Baldwin again.
Dr. Baldwin was great. My husband and I liked him and my daughter got along with him as well. But when he answered questions or talked to either of us he stared at this spot in the wall behind us. It was strange. If there had been a television hung on the wall behind us showing the news or a sports game I wouldn’t have thought much of it, but there was nothing there—just a wall.
It didn’t affect anything related to patient care though and we like him a lot, maybe in January when we take my son for his wellness checkup we’ll see if there was a hidden television on the wall after all.
The Big Boy Update: My son was angry at me the other day. I was telling him he had to do something or he wasn’t able to do something and I was telling him he had to calm down before he could do the next thing. I can’t remember exactly what the situation was, but I wasn’t expecting his response, “I have my own DNA!” he cried out. I agreed that he did. We got sidetracked into a discussion about DNA and before you know it he was calm again.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter and I were talking tonight as she was going to sleep in her bed. I told her it was time to be quiet and I started a song playing on Alexa. My daughter said calmly and quietly, “that’s my girl…that’s my girl…that’s my mommy…DNA of my heart…Mommy.” This was a very eloquent and poignant thing for my daughter to say. I told her that was incredibly sweet and she made my heart happy. I went over to hug her and she hugged me back and gave me a kiss. Then I asked the inevitable question, knowing the answer: “where did you hear those words?” “On a show”, she said. But she said them to me and she knew what they meant. That’s what matters to me.
Tuesday, December 5, 2017
Pliers and Rope
My son has a tooth that needs to fall out. It’s the right front tooth on his upper jaw. It’s one of the two front and center teeth you see when you smile. And his tooth is crooked. The permanent tooth has been pushing downwards from his jaw for some time, but as it did so for some reason it started to push the baby tooth to the side instead of uniformly downwards.
Maybe his baby tooth didn’t resorb evenly on both sides or maybe the baby or permanent teeth are in just the right position to cause his tooth to veer off to one side. I started noticing it because the spacing between two of his teeth looked larger. Then it got larger still. Now the tooth is not only almost overlapping the other front tooth, it’s angled down at a kilt that makes my son look snaggle-toothed.
The tooth itself must be bothering my son because he decided last night that he, “wanted to tie a rope around his tooth and then to a doorknob so we can pull it out”. We talked about the whole “rope” part of that idea and the difficulty from a relative size perspective. I suggested dental floss and we tried for the next ten minutes to get dental floss securely tied around my son’s tooth.
He was very helpful. I think he wanted this tooth out (he’s only lost two others at this point). As it turns out, teeth are slippery—especially teeth that taper down like this tooth did. But not to worry, my son had a second idea—pliers.
That’s right, he wanted to see if he could pull out his tooth with pliers. Sure, why not, I thought? My daughter wanted to help get the pliers, knowing where my jewelers pliers were in the craft room. She practically shoved me out of the way to get there first she wanted to help so much.
I got several types and she carefully brought them downstairs, holding them pointed downwards in her hand and telling me she learned how to walk safely with sharp objects from school when I asked. After giving them over to my son, she went off to get ready for bed and I watched to see if my son was really up for the job of ripping a tooth out with pliers.
Did I mention teeth are slippery? He tried. I tried. We could get the tooth and we could wiggle it some. I was even able to get the tooth from the sides because it was sticking out so much and wiggle it in a perpendicular direction. But the tooth wasn’t coming out. Or at least not without some violent action taken and I didn’t want tooth number three lost to be a memory by which all other teeth would be judged—meaning in fear, blood and/or pain. So we let it lie.
Today, one day later the tooth is still in place. He has another tooth on the lower half of his mouth that’s getting more “wiggly” and might escape his mouth first.
The Big Boy Update: My son sometimes streaks his pants. He’s focused on working or playing and doesn’t want to stop to go to the bathroom. He has to clean his underwear when this happens. Sunday he had indeed streaked his pants. I must have said something along the lines of it being a lot. My son was absolutely incensed. When you read this next imagine my very indignant son as he said, “that’s a tiny bit! What’s wrong with you? Do you have bad vision? It is not that big. I’m not cleaning them—I’m tired.” (He cleaned them.)
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter had her six-year-old wellness check today. All is well other than a little eczema she has on and off. No allergies, no other problems to speak of aside from the vision. One thing that was interesting was the nurse asking if she could do a vision test. We don’t really know what my daughter can see. I suggested she do the test where she looked into the machine because I didn’t think she could see the one where she stood down the hall and read the chart. She put her eyes up to the machine and looked and I watched as she moved her face and eyes around to try and see something. She could tell something was there but couldn’t see what it was. So down the hall we went. From ten feet away my daughter could see there was a lighter area (chart) against the door but not what was on it. The nurse was going to abandon the test but at this point I had a daughter who was willing to try (a lot of the time she isn’t). I brought her forward until she could see the biggest letter on the chart. The one that’s 20/400 from ten feet away. My daughter could read the letter at one foot away. But she could see some of the smaller things lower down on the chart at that distance too. She has no ability to focus because she has no natural lenses but she does well within the confines of that limitation.
Maybe his baby tooth didn’t resorb evenly on both sides or maybe the baby or permanent teeth are in just the right position to cause his tooth to veer off to one side. I started noticing it because the spacing between two of his teeth looked larger. Then it got larger still. Now the tooth is not only almost overlapping the other front tooth, it’s angled down at a kilt that makes my son look snaggle-toothed.
The tooth itself must be bothering my son because he decided last night that he, “wanted to tie a rope around his tooth and then to a doorknob so we can pull it out”. We talked about the whole “rope” part of that idea and the difficulty from a relative size perspective. I suggested dental floss and we tried for the next ten minutes to get dental floss securely tied around my son’s tooth.
He was very helpful. I think he wanted this tooth out (he’s only lost two others at this point). As it turns out, teeth are slippery—especially teeth that taper down like this tooth did. But not to worry, my son had a second idea—pliers.
That’s right, he wanted to see if he could pull out his tooth with pliers. Sure, why not, I thought? My daughter wanted to help get the pliers, knowing where my jewelers pliers were in the craft room. She practically shoved me out of the way to get there first she wanted to help so much.
I got several types and she carefully brought them downstairs, holding them pointed downwards in her hand and telling me she learned how to walk safely with sharp objects from school when I asked. After giving them over to my son, she went off to get ready for bed and I watched to see if my son was really up for the job of ripping a tooth out with pliers.
Did I mention teeth are slippery? He tried. I tried. We could get the tooth and we could wiggle it some. I was even able to get the tooth from the sides because it was sticking out so much and wiggle it in a perpendicular direction. But the tooth wasn’t coming out. Or at least not without some violent action taken and I didn’t want tooth number three lost to be a memory by which all other teeth would be judged—meaning in fear, blood and/or pain. So we let it lie.
Today, one day later the tooth is still in place. He has another tooth on the lower half of his mouth that’s getting more “wiggly” and might escape his mouth first.
The Big Boy Update: My son sometimes streaks his pants. He’s focused on working or playing and doesn’t want to stop to go to the bathroom. He has to clean his underwear when this happens. Sunday he had indeed streaked his pants. I must have said something along the lines of it being a lot. My son was absolutely incensed. When you read this next imagine my very indignant son as he said, “that’s a tiny bit! What’s wrong with you? Do you have bad vision? It is not that big. I’m not cleaning them—I’m tired.” (He cleaned them.)
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter had her six-year-old wellness check today. All is well other than a little eczema she has on and off. No allergies, no other problems to speak of aside from the vision. One thing that was interesting was the nurse asking if she could do a vision test. We don’t really know what my daughter can see. I suggested she do the test where she looked into the machine because I didn’t think she could see the one where she stood down the hall and read the chart. She put her eyes up to the machine and looked and I watched as she moved her face and eyes around to try and see something. She could tell something was there but couldn’t see what it was. So down the hall we went. From ten feet away my daughter could see there was a lighter area (chart) against the door but not what was on it. The nurse was going to abandon the test but at this point I had a daughter who was willing to try (a lot of the time she isn’t). I brought her forward until she could see the biggest letter on the chart. The one that’s 20/400 from ten feet away. My daughter could read the letter at one foot away. But she could see some of the smaller things lower down on the chart at that distance too. She has no ability to focus because she has no natural lenses but she does well within the confines of that limitation.
Monday, December 4, 2017
10-6-5-4
My husband and I have the new iPhone X. We’ve been doing a phone handing down process of the older phones to other people in our family. My in-laws have theirs now and we have their older phones which will be erased and reinstalled for other people, one on the West Coast. It’s a process but everyone gets an upgrade in the end.
While we were doing this my father-in-law was looking through his things and found an old iPhone 4. It’s not functional today or it wouldn’t be useful functional with the later iOS operating system and requirements from current app versions. But he had it and gave it to us and we put it in a stack.
The change in phone sizes has been upwards and outwards in the past few years. The stack of phones pictured below is the iPhone 10, 6, 5, 4 with the 4 on top. I didn’t check actual weights, but the smallest iPhone 4 feels about the same weight as the much bigger iPhone X.
I miss the small phones for ease of storage in pockets, but the screen size and clarity on the newer phones is hard to beat. That, plus Animoji's, so yeah, win.
The Big Boy Update: On the way to school we pass by my best friend’s office. I pointed out to my son six beautiful trees that had all turned a stunning shade of red at the same time. This morning on the way to school my son said to me, “Eleanor’s trees are gone.” I looked around to figure out what he meant and saw those trees, now almost completely leafless.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter wanted to play Crazy 8’s, the card game tonight. She understood the rules and could tell most of the numbers on the cards. She is getting better at not expecting the deck to be stacked in her favor and she may well be on the way to becoming a good sportsman. She did win two out of three games tonight though—without intervention on either of our parts—which is good for understanding that losing is part of playing games with friends.
While we were doing this my father-in-law was looking through his things and found an old iPhone 4. It’s not functional today or it wouldn’t be useful functional with the later iOS operating system and requirements from current app versions. But he had it and gave it to us and we put it in a stack.
The change in phone sizes has been upwards and outwards in the past few years. The stack of phones pictured below is the iPhone 10, 6, 5, 4 with the 4 on top. I didn’t check actual weights, but the smallest iPhone 4 feels about the same weight as the much bigger iPhone X.
I miss the small phones for ease of storage in pockets, but the screen size and clarity on the newer phones is hard to beat. That, plus Animoji's, so yeah, win.
The Big Boy Update: On the way to school we pass by my best friend’s office. I pointed out to my son six beautiful trees that had all turned a stunning shade of red at the same time. This morning on the way to school my son said to me, “Eleanor’s trees are gone.” I looked around to figure out what he meant and saw those trees, now almost completely leafless.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter wanted to play Crazy 8’s, the card game tonight. She understood the rules and could tell most of the numbers on the cards. She is getting better at not expecting the deck to be stacked in her favor and she may well be on the way to becoming a good sportsman. She did win two out of three games tonight though—without intervention on either of our parts—which is good for understanding that losing is part of playing games with friends.
Sunday, December 3, 2017
The Wall Alcove
My husband and a business partner are buying a house tomorrow. The plan is to invest some money into it and flip it in six months or so, hopefully at a profit. My husband and his partner, Peter, work well together on this type of venture. They’ve done it once before in a limited sense and decided to expand their partnership gong forward.
They started looking for a house and shortly one came on the market just down the street from where Peter lives that met the criteria they were looking for in a home to flip. This particular area has old homes but the area itself is in the middle of an economic increase. The homes are small but are very close to both a large university and a renowned hospital. Location alone makes even smaller, older houses worth far more than they would be elsewhere.
The house was in a state of disrepair due to the mother of ninety-six living in it being unable to take proper care of it. There was extensive mold that had grown up due to a leak that went un-repaired. To my husband and his partner, this wasn’t a problem as they were planning on gutting much of the home to update it. They planned to keep the structure but change some things like making the kitchen somewhat larger and making the porch/patio add-on not feel so much like a basic enclosure and more like real living space.
Tomorrow is the closing on the property, Tuesday the demolition begins. Today we were walking through it and as we came out one of the daughters was coming by to pick up some final things. We had a very nice conversation with her talking about her childhood growing up in the house and the changes her father had made. She was seventy-seven years old and this was her childhood home.
I took some pictures of the inside of the home for before pictures. One of them was this, that I found in the hall:
Do you know what this little alcove was for? I doubt most people college-age or younger would guess.
The Big Boy Update: My in-laws were talking tonight about the town they live in. The question of village versus town came up. My son was explaining the difference using finger quotes and verbal emphasis and sounding oh so knowledgeable as he said, “it’s more of a ‘village’. If people built their house there like the Indians, then it could be a ‘village’”.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter happily explained to everyone at the table tonight, “I can’t wait to celebrate Cheesus’s birthday on Christmas.”
They started looking for a house and shortly one came on the market just down the street from where Peter lives that met the criteria they were looking for in a home to flip. This particular area has old homes but the area itself is in the middle of an economic increase. The homes are small but are very close to both a large university and a renowned hospital. Location alone makes even smaller, older houses worth far more than they would be elsewhere.
The house was in a state of disrepair due to the mother of ninety-six living in it being unable to take proper care of it. There was extensive mold that had grown up due to a leak that went un-repaired. To my husband and his partner, this wasn’t a problem as they were planning on gutting much of the home to update it. They planned to keep the structure but change some things like making the kitchen somewhat larger and making the porch/patio add-on not feel so much like a basic enclosure and more like real living space.
Tomorrow is the closing on the property, Tuesday the demolition begins. Today we were walking through it and as we came out one of the daughters was coming by to pick up some final things. We had a very nice conversation with her talking about her childhood growing up in the house and the changes her father had made. She was seventy-seven years old and this was her childhood home.
I took some pictures of the inside of the home for before pictures. One of them was this, that I found in the hall:
Do you know what this little alcove was for? I doubt most people college-age or younger would guess.
The Big Boy Update: My in-laws were talking tonight about the town they live in. The question of village versus town came up. My son was explaining the difference using finger quotes and verbal emphasis and sounding oh so knowledgeable as he said, “it’s more of a ‘village’. If people built their house there like the Indians, then it could be a ‘village’”.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter happily explained to everyone at the table tonight, “I can’t wait to celebrate Cheesus’s birthday on Christmas.”
Saturday, December 2, 2017
Little things
One of the things I like most about the holiday season is getting little presents. Or rather finding them to give. I like stockings and as a parent I find a lot of joy in hunting down things to put in the stockings. My children are too young to realize it’s me filling them, but I fear we have precious few years left on that front.
This year my husband and I decided to do an advent calendar. In a bit of decoration exuberance I bought an advent calendar to put at our front door. The children opened the first drawer on the 1st which pointed them to their other, Lego-based advent calendars.
Which leaves me with twenty-three more days of the month to put something small or a note on where to find something dimensionally larger that’s hidden elsewhere in the house. I have more than twenty-three days of things to put in their advent calendar. I like buying little things that fit into something small.
Oh, and apparently I’m doing it wrong. My husband asked if we were supposed to start with the drawers at the bottom and go to the top, ending on the one at the top of the tree. I told him I didn’t know and uh, oh, we’d already started with December 1st being at the top. The children had counted out to when my son’s birthday was. So it’s a done thing. I think we’er going to have to do the advent calendar backwards, at least for this year.
The Big Boy Tiny Girl Energy Overage: My son and daughter went to visit Nana and Papa this weekend. When they arrived they both had so much energy they couldn’t calm down. Even when they got towards bed time and they were reading the story, they couldn’t let go of the energy to try and go to sleep.
This year my husband and I decided to do an advent calendar. In a bit of decoration exuberance I bought an advent calendar to put at our front door. The children opened the first drawer on the 1st which pointed them to their other, Lego-based advent calendars.
Which leaves me with twenty-three more days of the month to put something small or a note on where to find something dimensionally larger that’s hidden elsewhere in the house. I have more than twenty-three days of things to put in their advent calendar. I like buying little things that fit into something small.
Oh, and apparently I’m doing it wrong. My husband asked if we were supposed to start with the drawers at the bottom and go to the top, ending on the one at the top of the tree. I told him I didn’t know and uh, oh, we’d already started with December 1st being at the top. The children had counted out to when my son’s birthday was. So it’s a done thing. I think we’er going to have to do the advent calendar backwards, at least for this year.
The Big Boy Tiny Girl Energy Overage: My son and daughter went to visit Nana and Papa this weekend. When they arrived they both had so much energy they couldn’t calm down. Even when they got towards bed time and they were reading the story, they couldn’t let go of the energy to try and go to sleep.
Friday, December 1, 2017
The Long Conversation
I was involved in another long conversation tonight. Have you ever had a friend or friends who were going through something exciting, anxiety provoking, frightening or saddening that was so forceful a situation that it couldn’t be blocked out, had to be thought about all the time?
Death of a family member or friend is one example—the feelings are so strong, the thoughts just swirl and swirl around in your head and you can’t get away from the impact the change in your life is causing.
I have two friends who are in the middle of one of these types of situations. And while they have a lot of support to help them through it, the retelling of the story to new people takes time, especially if the story needs to be told from the beginning. And particularly if the story is being told by a storyteller who doesn’t want to miss any of the points.
I’ve heard the story, was involved when the story was happening originally and have been talking about the ramifications and repercussions since Sunday. But tonight I was out to dinner with some friends who had no idea—so we started at ground zero again.
A five-hour dinner to discuss and my listening skills were strained (I have poor listening skills to start with). But the talking was helpful. Sometimes we need to get things out to process them.
The Big Boy Update: My son has a Lego advent calendar. There was a little bag in the little cardboard section of the calendar with small pieces. My son put them into a train engine by looking at the picture. He’s pretty good with pictures alone, commonly not needing step-by-step instructions for smaller models.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter has a Playmobil advent calendar. For the first day in December and here introduction to advent calendars she had a mini figure to put together of a lady ice skater including little ice skates that fit over the feet.
Death of a family member or friend is one example—the feelings are so strong, the thoughts just swirl and swirl around in your head and you can’t get away from the impact the change in your life is causing.
I have two friends who are in the middle of one of these types of situations. And while they have a lot of support to help them through it, the retelling of the story to new people takes time, especially if the story needs to be told from the beginning. And particularly if the story is being told by a storyteller who doesn’t want to miss any of the points.
I’ve heard the story, was involved when the story was happening originally and have been talking about the ramifications and repercussions since Sunday. But tonight I was out to dinner with some friends who had no idea—so we started at ground zero again.
A five-hour dinner to discuss and my listening skills were strained (I have poor listening skills to start with). But the talking was helpful. Sometimes we need to get things out to process them.
The Big Boy Update: My son has a Lego advent calendar. There was a little bag in the little cardboard section of the calendar with small pieces. My son put them into a train engine by looking at the picture. He’s pretty good with pictures alone, commonly not needing step-by-step instructions for smaller models.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter has a Playmobil advent calendar. For the first day in December and here introduction to advent calendars she had a mini figure to put together of a lady ice skater including little ice skates that fit over the feet.
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