Out of Control Adults

There’s a double rainbow visible from our porch right now.   It’s one of those strange spring days where it rains when the sun is shining.  The children have been running in and out of doors both to escape the rain and to experience it by getting wet while standing barefoot on the grass.

My son seems to be in a good mood, which is a good thing because he’s been having some trouble lately.   We had an appointment for him to see our play therapist this afternoon.   When I picked him up his teacher said we needed to have a quick discussion and thus followed a story where my son didn’t get to sit with the person he wanted to for lunch, so he told him he was going to stab him.

Kate, my son’s teacher, knew he was going to see Dhruti for therapy and told me additionally that my son had been very off all week.   On the way in the car I texted Dhruti a quick summary (my husband was driving) and she responded she would see if it came out in the session.

When we picked my son up I was surprised at what she had to say.   I was expecting her to say my son was worried (about his sister), concerned because he’s leaving his class next year and has been doing visitations to his first grade classroom, not able to handle the difference in schedule since his sister was in Detroit for several days and there had been a possibility they would stay for longer.

It wasn’t that at all.  He is apparently seeing a lack of control from the adults around him.   His perception is the adults should keep things in order around him and that just hadn’t been happening lately.   But what does that mean?   To be honest, I don’t really know because I only had two minutes to get a quick conversation in with Dhruti before her next appointment.

Some things have changed in my son’s world recently, most notably his favorite teacher had to leave school unexpectedly.   He was very attached to his teacher and while the new teacher is both capable and very lovely, it’s a change for him.    He not only has one new teacher but there is a teacher change mid-day and he has a second teacher in the afternoon.    So school may seem a little out of control for him.

And what about us, as parents?   Are we out of control?  Well, I did lose my temper at both children this morning but I’m wondering if it’s more about his sister’s eyes.   We have told the children countless times that the doctors are going to help her see better.   And yet things just keep getting worse.   Has he lost faith in the adults around him, wondering if we’re really qualified to do our jobs?

His behavior, while seemingly not related, is a consequence and a reaction in which my son tries to control things and when that fails, he gets upset (and apparently wants to stab people).   I need to get back up with Dhruti so we can understand how to help ameliorate his feelings and try to regain his confidence in us as adults.

The Big Boy Update:  My son has more faith in me as a driver than he does our car’s autopilot.   Every time I turn it on it makes a double beep sound.   While my daughter is delighted that the car is driving itself, my son tells me in a worried voice, “mom, no, you have to hold onto the wheel”.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter was eating a snack today with the door to our deck open and a breeze blowing gently in.   She said, “we got time.   We’re going back in time.”  I asked her who’s going back in time and she replied, “no, not really we have a thyme plant outside on the deck.”