...but it sure feels like it sometimes. I hear from other parents regularly that their child or children went through the same thing or does similar or other related things. They assure me our children aren't bad-mannered, spoiled brats, but it doesn't seem like it from here. We aren't easy on them (I don't think). We have expectations for behavior, language, and politeness. We give out consequences and follow through. We are consistent and we always back the other parent up unless by accident and then we explain to the children so they will understand.
And yet it seems like we have ill-tempered, spoiled brats that can't get along with each other or anyone and believe violence, insults rudeness and ignoring instructions from adults is okay. Are they privileged? Yes, they lead a privileged life. We have the financial means to keep them fed, certainly, but they also have many toys, are able to go to places and do activities that are fun whenever we want to do them. They have two parents with flexible work schedules who are around a lot and four loving grandparents who dote on them and give them lots of time and love.
Which is why I am so frustrated at them, again. We had a New Year's Day party we've been looking forward to going to. My husband went to the store in the morning to get supplies to make baked ziti. He cooked the pasta, made the sauce and assembled the ziti before he and his parents left to go see Star Wars. When he got home he cooked it and when it was ready we were leaving for the party with the children.
There is another story I wanted to write about instead of this one, which happened in between the time he left for the movie and before we left for the party, but it will have to wait for now because this story is taking precedence in my mind. Perhaps if I have enough energy after I'm done here and if the ring of pain around my trunk isn't too bad, I'll write it today.
During the time he got back and until we left, he was pretty much correcting my son non-stop and my daughter incrementally. I was busy with our guest, about which the other, happier story, revolves. As we drove off for the party, an event that both children had complained about going to, even though it was to Theo's house (who goes to my son's school and came over to create pictures on my daughter's braillewriter). We were fairly certain both children would have fun. Even so, I'd packed some entertainment for both of them. I expected the party to be packed with both adults and children.
In the car I calmly talked to them about being respectful, using appropriate language and using their best manners at the party. My daughter interrupted me mid-sentence to talk about something totally unrelated. I asked her to wait. My son wanted to put on a comedian station on the radio, even though my husband had said we weren't going to have any audio. They didn't even act like I'd mentioned anything. I asked if they had any comments.
My daughter wanted only to talk about something unrelated. My son was unhappy about the lack of music to his liking. I tried again, trying to keep my composure. They gave flippant remarks and then started an argument between each other about who got more or less or who's turn it was. I got upset and said all I had wanted was to have a nice time out where they were on their best behavior. My son said, "I'm not falling for that." And then I lost it. I told my husband to take us home. We weren't going to the party.
I was mad. I told them we were tired of their behavior. When they got home, they would be going to separate rooms (which were empty bedrooms with nothing to entertain them). Now they were upset. I told them how their father had worked hard to make a dish for the party and now we weren't getting to go. My husband said he was disappointed because we had both been looking forward to attending the party. The children now both said they had wanted to go to the party too and balked, saying it wasn't true that they had said they didn't want to go. We reminded them when they had complained about the party.
I don't think they believed we were going home. When they discovered we were, they both got upset. They even asked if we were serious. My husband said yes, we were. We got home and sent them to different rooms. My husband brought them paper to write how they felt. My son drew a picture and said he felt like a prisoner and then tried to leave the room multiple times. Both children complained about being hungry...starving even. We told them the food had been at the party. They didn't like the thought of that.
In the car, before we got home I had told them exactly what I thought about things. I told my children I hated them. I said I wasn't falling for it about my son saying he really wanted to go to the party. My daughter typed up her feelings, saying, "I hate you mom you are the worst why do you half to exsist I love you but I don't right now."
After about forty-five minutes, my husband and I decided to have a conversation with them to see if they had changed attitudes. I called them out into the hall and asked them to sit beside me. I asked them how they felt. My daughter told me about what she wrote, saying it was her feelings. I told her it was always okay to express your feelings to us, but that the way we express things can have hurtful consequences. I explained to them that I used the words, "I hate you" in the car because that's what my daughter had said to our neighbors and their fathers the other day. If it hurt them to hear that, maybe they could understand what someone else might feel if it was said to them. I told my son I said, "I'm not buying it" about him saying he'd be good because that's what he had said to me. I said I hadn't meant either of those things, but I wanted them to experience the power of their words.
They said they could be well-behaved and did want to go to the party. We said we would try, but if things went downhill, we were coming immediately back home. We got in the car and had a nice time, leaving after the party was officially over. I don't know how long the change in behavior is going to last but I think we got through to them today. They have habits we need to break as well as some bad habits of our own as adults we need to work on. Hopefully, today we made progress in the right direction.
The New Year's Fortune Visit: This is the story that happened in the middle of the day today. Mrs. Aagaard messaged me in the early hours of the morning today, asking if we were around and if we'd like to have her come over to give my children a New Year's fortune that was a tradition in her family. We scheduled her arrival at two o'clock, before we had to leave for the party. She had asked if Madison would like to have a fortune too since she had met Madison at our last festival meeting. She arrived with an angel food cake and some charms. She divided the cake up into pieces and then hid a charm inside each piece. Each child held their hand over the slices until they felt the fortune that they were the closest to. With our slices, we each found our charm and she told us what each fortune meant. My daughter had a penny, representing finding fortune in something in the coming year. My son had a car meaning he would take a trip this year. Madison had a man which said she would be making a new friend. I had a ball so I would be picking up a new sport or would have fun in a new way this year and my husband had glasses indicating he was going to learn something new this year. We are so fortunate to have such a good friend in Mrs. Aagaard. It is always a pleasure to see her and we always learn something new. She left when my husband's baked Ziti was ready and it was time to go. She and I had gotten involved in a discussion about education and her experiences as a teacher—a subject she and I agreed we could talk for hours on. We agreed to reconvene in the future for more discussion when time permitted.
Wednesday, January 1, 2020
Tuesday, December 31, 2019
I’d Rather Be Blind
I was riding in the car this morning with my daughter to the next city over for an appointment for her Urology PT (yes, there is such a thing) and we got to talking about beling blind. This rarely happens where my daughter is interested in discussing anything about her, which has caused me to learn to approach things from a tangent. If I can get her talking about one thing, she may well open up and let me into her world of blindness. Approached directly, she just shuts down.
This morning I told her about a YouTube channel I watched that was a man who was blind from birth. He is charismatic and a happy guy and enjoyable to listen to. In this particular hour-long video he went through questions from the comments in his social media accounts. I thought my daughter might be interested in both the questions and his answer.
One of them was about "watching" YouTube videos, television shows, and films—how could he do so without sight? He talked about not necessarily needing to see to understand most things and talked about using descriptive audio and how it was a good thing and helpful for things that weren't as much dialog-based. My daughter said, "I watch shows too, just like me!" She felt less alone I got the sense, knowing that someone else watched things like she did.
Next, I told her about how he commonly, frequently even, had people try and help him across streets. He's had people stop and get out of their cars to help him cross a street he crosses on a regular basis with no assistance. He is always grateful for the help and typically doesn't even let them know the help was unneeded.
My daughter asked about his cane or if he had a dog and I admitted I wasn't sure. He mentioned his cane several times but never talked about a dog. My daughter confirmed something I've been assuming for some time now when she said, "I'll have a dog. I want a dog." We talked about how they were expensive to train but that when the time came when she was older, we would certainly look into it more if she still felt strongly about having a sighted guide dog.
Then I told her about the question he got asked all the time. He was born completely blind but people want to know if he could be sighted, would he want to? He said he's gone back and forth one. He sometimes says yes, but he doesn't see the need for sight since he knows how to do everything blind. He's been in radio for over thirty years and is completely self-sufficient. Sometimes though, he thinks it would be interesting to see what this seeing thing is all about. My daughter said, "I'd rather be blind too." I was surprised to hear her say this, especially since she used to be able to see. She added a second later, "well, with a little bit of vision." I think the last bit of residual vision she has is useful to her and she doesn't want to lose it.
I told her if she wanted to listen to the interview with me, I'd be glad to play it for her. She is interested. I think she'd like hearing about another blind person and how they live. Especially someone who is so positive about their blindness and a life lived being blind.
The Big Boy Update: My son loves messing with his sister when she's sleeping. I don't know what it is, he's not being malicious, he's just interested in her and I think wants to know what it takes to wake her up. He's done this multiple times in the past weeks since she's had her shifted sleep schedule and has been falling asleep early in the main areas of the house. She dislikes being messed with (having blankets put on her, removed, arms repositioned, face touched, etc.). My son got a consequence for it today.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: One thing I mentioned that Tommy Edison (the blind man who's channel I've been watching) said one thing he couldn't understand is how we sighted people keep our eyes open all day. He said it must be exhausting. He has his eyes closed almost all the time. He can keep them open for about a minute before his eyelids get too tired. My daughter thought this was really interesting and said she keeps her eyes closed some of the time too.
This morning I told her about a YouTube channel I watched that was a man who was blind from birth. He is charismatic and a happy guy and enjoyable to listen to. In this particular hour-long video he went through questions from the comments in his social media accounts. I thought my daughter might be interested in both the questions and his answer.
One of them was about "watching" YouTube videos, television shows, and films—how could he do so without sight? He talked about not necessarily needing to see to understand most things and talked about using descriptive audio and how it was a good thing and helpful for things that weren't as much dialog-based. My daughter said, "I watch shows too, just like me!" She felt less alone I got the sense, knowing that someone else watched things like she did.
Next, I told her about how he commonly, frequently even, had people try and help him across streets. He's had people stop and get out of their cars to help him cross a street he crosses on a regular basis with no assistance. He is always grateful for the help and typically doesn't even let them know the help was unneeded.
My daughter asked about his cane or if he had a dog and I admitted I wasn't sure. He mentioned his cane several times but never talked about a dog. My daughter confirmed something I've been assuming for some time now when she said, "I'll have a dog. I want a dog." We talked about how they were expensive to train but that when the time came when she was older, we would certainly look into it more if she still felt strongly about having a sighted guide dog.
Then I told her about the question he got asked all the time. He was born completely blind but people want to know if he could be sighted, would he want to? He said he's gone back and forth one. He sometimes says yes, but he doesn't see the need for sight since he knows how to do everything blind. He's been in radio for over thirty years and is completely self-sufficient. Sometimes though, he thinks it would be interesting to see what this seeing thing is all about. My daughter said, "I'd rather be blind too." I was surprised to hear her say this, especially since she used to be able to see. She added a second later, "well, with a little bit of vision." I think the last bit of residual vision she has is useful to her and she doesn't want to lose it.
I told her if she wanted to listen to the interview with me, I'd be glad to play it for her. She is interested. I think she'd like hearing about another blind person and how they live. Especially someone who is so positive about their blindness and a life lived being blind.
The Big Boy Update: My son loves messing with his sister when she's sleeping. I don't know what it is, he's not being malicious, he's just interested in her and I think wants to know what it takes to wake her up. He's done this multiple times in the past weeks since she's had her shifted sleep schedule and has been falling asleep early in the main areas of the house. She dislikes being messed with (having blankets put on her, removed, arms repositioned, face touched, etc.). My son got a consequence for it today.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: One thing I mentioned that Tommy Edison (the blind man who's channel I've been watching) said one thing he couldn't understand is how we sighted people keep our eyes open all day. He said it must be exhausting. He has his eyes closed almost all the time. He can keep them open for about a minute before his eyelids get too tired. My daughter thought this was really interesting and said she keeps her eyes closed some of the time too.
Monday, December 30, 2019
No Dinner
We had a situation today. It is complicated but it ended with my daughter getting sent to her room without dinner, told she had to write eight apology notes and the loss of trampoline privileges for four days. It wasn't good.
There are sometimes eight children in line to get on the trampoline. They've come up with games and are pretty good at following the rules, which I have laminated on a printed sheet pinned to the side beside the steps to get in. I'll tell the story from two sides because I think my daughter's side is important to tell and I learned more about it afterward.
I was called out by the children and a phone call from one of the parents because they had a situation they wanted to talk about. My daughter had come inside, crying, saying she didn't want to talk to Mr. Benji because he punched people in the face. I had to almost drag her outside and my assurances Benji was not going to punch her or anyone in the face helped not one bit to calm her down.
On our porch, she lay on the sofa and the adults asked to have the story told. What the other children explained was that my son was hitting my daughter. There was some squabble about her wanting a turn and it not being her turn. She, in turn, hit her brother back. Claire asked her to stop hitting my son, to which my daughter decided to punch Jay, Claire's brother, instead. My daughter then called Claire stupid, an idiot and said she was dumb. I don't know what happened next but it ended with my daughter inside and the fathers over for a discussion of what had happened.
I explained those insults were punishable words in our house. My daughter said everyone was lying. She was hysterical at that point and screamed, multiple times, at the top of her lungs, she was so furious. She yelled and said she hated Claire. She hated Walter (the other father over), Jay and her brother. She also said she hated Mr. Benji and that he was mean and punched people in the face.
Claire, who is in either fifth or sixth grade, started crying and held on to her father. Benji told her it was okay, that he wasn't upset. Claire said she was upset though that my daughter was saying terrible things about her father. Walter told my daughter that everyone was hurt by what she was saying. There is more, but that's the general gist.
At that point, I took my daughter by the hand, said I would deal with it, apologized to everyone and pulled her inside. I was furious myself at this point and I spanked her once. I couldn't understand how she could have systematically alienated every friend she had in the group, insulted the fathers and made me feel like we were abysmal at parenting, letting our children think physical violence and insults were allowed.
I took her upstairs and told her she was confined in her room until morning with no dinner. Also, she had lost trampoline privileges for three days. I went into her room and tried to talk to her. I wanted to hear her side. She was under the bed, rolling around and crying, yelling, telling me she hated me, that she hated Claire because she was mean to her and that (this was a general theme) Mr. Benji punched people in the face.
After talking to her for a bit I got more information out of her. It appears she thought they were picking on her because she was blind. They kept saying, "we have to follow the rules that are on the paper" meaning the paper I'd attached to the side of the trampoline. My daughter knows the rules because I'd read them to her, but somehow it was conveyed, it made her feel like she was being teased since she couldn't see.
In a way, maybe they were treating her differently. My daughter also may have had expectations about when her turn was that was unfair. She can't see who gets on and off the trampoline. She may have been feeling like she was being skipped over, even though she wasn't. I talked to her about how everyone was trying to make it fair because everyone wanted their own turn.
I told her, in my anger and honestly embarrassment, that she would be writing an apology letter to everyone she'd insulted or called names. I brought her braillewriter in with some paper. The rest of the day hasn't gone that well for her. I went upstairs a few times, trying to spend time with her, but she told me she hated me and if the police were here and knew I wasn't letting her have dinner, they would kill me. She has some very, very angry thoughts right now.
I sent some messages to the two fathers explaining that she might have been triggered because she thought she was being teased. I told them she said, "I could tell they were smiling from the sounds of their faces" (meaning they were laughing at her). They were understanding and we all agreed we would continue to try and facilitate good cooperation and using appropriate words—that our children were all old enough to do so. I told them my daughter would not be using the trampoline for the next few days but that their children were welcomed to come and use it.
My daughter may be asleep now. She was bored a bit ago and I helped her find something to do from the toys in their closet. My husband and I talked about the overall situation. He said she doesn't get a lot of consequences like this and it could be a good thing. It makes me so sad that she's that fragile and would think she was being teased. She was so hateful today. Something much deeper was happening than not getting a turn on the trampoline.
The Big Boy Update: My son lost trampoline privileges for a day for hitting his sister as well.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: I heard my daughter typing on her braillewriter after being sent to her room. When I came up later she told me she'd written some notes, but that I wouldn't like them because they weren't apologizing, they were saying how she felt. I think she's very, very angry. This is what she wrote:
There are sometimes eight children in line to get on the trampoline. They've come up with games and are pretty good at following the rules, which I have laminated on a printed sheet pinned to the side beside the steps to get in. I'll tell the story from two sides because I think my daughter's side is important to tell and I learned more about it afterward.
I was called out by the children and a phone call from one of the parents because they had a situation they wanted to talk about. My daughter had come inside, crying, saying she didn't want to talk to Mr. Benji because he punched people in the face. I had to almost drag her outside and my assurances Benji was not going to punch her or anyone in the face helped not one bit to calm her down.
On our porch, she lay on the sofa and the adults asked to have the story told. What the other children explained was that my son was hitting my daughter. There was some squabble about her wanting a turn and it not being her turn. She, in turn, hit her brother back. Claire asked her to stop hitting my son, to which my daughter decided to punch Jay, Claire's brother, instead. My daughter then called Claire stupid, an idiot and said she was dumb. I don't know what happened next but it ended with my daughter inside and the fathers over for a discussion of what had happened.
I explained those insults were punishable words in our house. My daughter said everyone was lying. She was hysterical at that point and screamed, multiple times, at the top of her lungs, she was so furious. She yelled and said she hated Claire. She hated Walter (the other father over), Jay and her brother. She also said she hated Mr. Benji and that he was mean and punched people in the face.
Claire, who is in either fifth or sixth grade, started crying and held on to her father. Benji told her it was okay, that he wasn't upset. Claire said she was upset though that my daughter was saying terrible things about her father. Walter told my daughter that everyone was hurt by what she was saying. There is more, but that's the general gist.
At that point, I took my daughter by the hand, said I would deal with it, apologized to everyone and pulled her inside. I was furious myself at this point and I spanked her once. I couldn't understand how she could have systematically alienated every friend she had in the group, insulted the fathers and made me feel like we were abysmal at parenting, letting our children think physical violence and insults were allowed.
I took her upstairs and told her she was confined in her room until morning with no dinner. Also, she had lost trampoline privileges for three days. I went into her room and tried to talk to her. I wanted to hear her side. She was under the bed, rolling around and crying, yelling, telling me she hated me, that she hated Claire because she was mean to her and that (this was a general theme) Mr. Benji punched people in the face.
After talking to her for a bit I got more information out of her. It appears she thought they were picking on her because she was blind. They kept saying, "we have to follow the rules that are on the paper" meaning the paper I'd attached to the side of the trampoline. My daughter knows the rules because I'd read them to her, but somehow it was conveyed, it made her feel like she was being teased since she couldn't see.
In a way, maybe they were treating her differently. My daughter also may have had expectations about when her turn was that was unfair. She can't see who gets on and off the trampoline. She may have been feeling like she was being skipped over, even though she wasn't. I talked to her about how everyone was trying to make it fair because everyone wanted their own turn.
I told her, in my anger and honestly embarrassment, that she would be writing an apology letter to everyone she'd insulted or called names. I brought her braillewriter in with some paper. The rest of the day hasn't gone that well for her. I went upstairs a few times, trying to spend time with her, but she told me she hated me and if the police were here and knew I wasn't letting her have dinner, they would kill me. She has some very, very angry thoughts right now.
I sent some messages to the two fathers explaining that she might have been triggered because she thought she was being teased. I told them she said, "I could tell they were smiling from the sounds of their faces" (meaning they were laughing at her). They were understanding and we all agreed we would continue to try and facilitate good cooperation and using appropriate words—that our children were all old enough to do so. I told them my daughter would not be using the trampoline for the next few days but that their children were welcomed to come and use it.
My daughter may be asleep now. She was bored a bit ago and I helped her find something to do from the toys in their closet. My husband and I talked about the overall situation. He said she doesn't get a lot of consequences like this and it could be a good thing. It makes me so sad that she's that fragile and would think she was being teased. She was so hateful today. Something much deeper was happening than not getting a turn on the trampoline.
The Big Boy Update: My son lost trampoline privileges for a day for hitting his sister as well.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: I heard my daughter typing on her braillewriter after being sent to her room. When I came up later she told me she'd written some notes, but that I wouldn't like them because they weren't apologizing, they were saying how she felt. I think she's very, very angry. This is what she wrote:
Sunday, December 29, 2019
Christmas Contained
It's late. I'm tired. But Christmas has been contained. All the parts of Christmas that I'm responsible for (interior decorations for the most part with a smattering of outdoor items) have been boxed and moved upstairs into a holding area where the steps to the attic are. I thought this would be quick, but it was not...at all.
There were a lot of interruptions—a LOT of interruptions. This trampoline is a great entertainer for the children. It's also a children's magnet. We have had happy children over at our house all day. The children made up games, had conflicts, came to me to mediate, or just resorted to violence or throwing your friend's shoe in the prickly bushes.
But I got the Christmas upstairs. I got all the presents, candy, stocking items, you name it, upstairs as well. It all needs to be sorted and put in places where they can be used. Right now it was a massive mish-mash all over the house and while our sighted family members could find things, my daughter was having to ask.
Tomorrow, with everything in one room, I can begin the sorting process. For now, late as it is, I'm glad Christmas has been contained back in its boxes and bins, destined for the attic tomorrow.
My Anger Management Child: My son has an anger problem. I was fit to be tied with him, while also desperately wanting to praise him and tell him good things about himself. He is doing things that we have to correct as they are directed at other children, some not my own, but all the corrections are hurting his self-image. When he threw a shoe into a bush today and the other father came over to help find it, he told me, "It's because he's a boy. We have the same thing with Jay. We're working on it too." So I don't feel like we've failed completely as parents, I suppose.
The It's Not Fair Child: My daughter was a tattletale and crybaby all day. The trampoline is a lot of fun, but there are hard feelings when you have eight children and only three can jump at a time. It will work itself out when the newness fades. The parents of the other children have been positive and understanding as well as saying they like the trampoline as it's fostering cooperative play.
There were a lot of interruptions—a LOT of interruptions. This trampoline is a great entertainer for the children. It's also a children's magnet. We have had happy children over at our house all day. The children made up games, had conflicts, came to me to mediate, or just resorted to violence or throwing your friend's shoe in the prickly bushes.
But I got the Christmas upstairs. I got all the presents, candy, stocking items, you name it, upstairs as well. It all needs to be sorted and put in places where they can be used. Right now it was a massive mish-mash all over the house and while our sighted family members could find things, my daughter was having to ask.
Tomorrow, with everything in one room, I can begin the sorting process. For now, late as it is, I'm glad Christmas has been contained back in its boxes and bins, destined for the attic tomorrow.
My Anger Management Child: My son has an anger problem. I was fit to be tied with him, while also desperately wanting to praise him and tell him good things about himself. He is doing things that we have to correct as they are directed at other children, some not my own, but all the corrections are hurting his self-image. When he threw a shoe into a bush today and the other father came over to help find it, he told me, "It's because he's a boy. We have the same thing with Jay. We're working on it too." So I don't feel like we've failed completely as parents, I suppose.
The It's Not Fair Child: My daughter was a tattletale and crybaby all day. The trampoline is a lot of fun, but there are hard feelings when you have eight children and only three can jump at a time. It will work itself out when the newness fades. The parents of the other children have been positive and understanding as well as saying they like the trampoline as it's fostering cooperative play.
Saturday, December 28, 2019
Rubik’s Cube
My daughter got a tactile Rubik's Cube for Christmas from Uncle Bob and Uncle Brian. There aren't stickers on the sides, each face has formed plastic in a raised pattern such as a circle, X, square, dots or a square. It's very easy to tell one shape from the other, even for me and my fingertips don't have full feeling in them due to the damage in my spinal cord.
My daughter wanted to work on her Rubik's Cube, my son wanted to play with it and I took a turn at it as well. We had several Rubik's Cubes in the house from different points over the years. We'd didn't have one that was tactile though. I thought I might know where they were but I knew for sure they were scrambled. Now that my daughter's new cube was mixed up though, would it ever be put back in order again?
When the Rubik's Cube first came out I got one after knockoffs came out and the price dropped to much less than the original price. I remember trying to figure it out and making decent progress. I could put all the same color on a single face of the cube. Then I figured out how to put those face pieces so that they matched the adjacent sides, effectively completing one level or row of the cube. The middle row held the center pieces, which are fixed in place, leaving only four edge pieces to put in place to complete the second row, which would have two-thirds of the cube back in place.
Those four pieces were confoundingly hard to do though. I could get them in, but in so doing I'd mess up some of the top layer I'd already completed. I remember eventually figuring out, through trial and error, how to get those four pieces placed. I felt a good bit of pride at this as most of my friends (we all had a cube) hadn't figured out that much.
What we all did figure out how to do was to take the cube apart and put the pieces back in place that way. That was so common among my friends that when I saw a completed cube, I didn't even bother asking if they'd figured out how to solve it.
There was no Internet and no easy way to find out how to solve it back then. This year I decided to give in, after all these years, and learn how to solve the Rubik's Cube once and for all. I felt a bit better after reading on one site that 99.9% of people didn't figure out how to solve it without some help. That night my daughter wanted to know where her cube was, so she could take it to bed with her. I said it was on my nightstand and I was working on it and could I keep it until the morning? My daughter said that would be okay and I told her I would leave it on my nightstand and she could come and see if I had been successful the next morning.
And then I got to learning algorithms. It's not simple. In order to get those pesky second layer edge pieces in place you need to do eight rotations to get the upper layer out of the way, move the edge piece in place and then move the top level back. And there is more than one algorithm because the edge piece might be in one of two orientations. There are five more algorithms for the final layer to position and rotate various pieces while not disrupting what's already in place, some of which require more than eight rotations and may need to be repeated multiple times in several orientations.
To understand the rotation motions you need to first learn a notation scheme for the faces and directions of rotation as well as how to orientate the cube at different times. That was the most confusing. I knew what I was supposed to do only I would rotate one of the faces clockwise when it should have been anticlockwise and wouldn't know which step. I didn't figure this out until completing the sequence so I didn't know how to backtrack to fix it. So I had to reposition what had gotten out of place, which backed me up in the solving by sometimes a good bit.
I went and found, strangely all in the same place and the first place I looked, three additional Rubik's Cubes. But all three were bad. Bad in that they were hard to rotate. I ended up solving all three of them (which are now scrambled again, thanks to my son). By the time I was done with all three, my hands hurt from fighting against catching, sticking and unwilling to rotate cubes.
Back to my daughter's cube though. It's a joy to work with, movement-wise. I've solved it upwards of twenty times now. It's taken most of that time for me to memorize the algorithms and remember which series of steps goes with each situation. I've solved it only a few of those times without having to refer to my notes and have nearly solved the cube close to forty times because I've made a mistake many times and had to start back with only the first layer complete.
It's been fun though. I'm no speed solver on account of the steps I'm using aren't the same as the ones used competitively. There are faster ways, but it involves knowing how the pieces move around the cube and planning out more than one move ahead and multiple things at the same time. For now, just solving it without messing up is my current goal. Fortunately, I have two children eager to give me, "a good scramble" so I can keep practicing.
The Tiny Stocking Swap: Last night at our Hanukkah/Christmas dinner with our neighbors my children had a prank that was going to be played on them by my neighbor's children. They had gone to the Dollar store and other locations to fill stockings for our children. They had found HUGE stockings for them and packed them full of all kinds of things. But they also had a tiny stocking for each of them with only one ring pop in them. They were going to give that to them first and see what they said. When they handed them to my children they each pulled out their ring pop and didn't say anything. They didn't complain at all. I think my children were excited to see what Shane and Blake would be getting in their stockings. We all waited for my children to say something and aside from my son casually saying, without any disappointment in his voice, "this is a really small stocking", they were the picture of graciousness. Blake couldn't take possibly disappointing them so he brought out their stockings. Even my children couldn't believe how much was in them. Shane and Blake liked their stocking contents too. And we all loved the Matzo Ball Soup and Potato Latkes. My children asked when they were going to light the Menorah and when they started to sing, I swear, my daughter sounded like she knew the tune and tried to sing along with them. Everyone had a delightful night. We love our annual gathering with our neighbors.
My daughter wanted to work on her Rubik's Cube, my son wanted to play with it and I took a turn at it as well. We had several Rubik's Cubes in the house from different points over the years. We'd didn't have one that was tactile though. I thought I might know where they were but I knew for sure they were scrambled. Now that my daughter's new cube was mixed up though, would it ever be put back in order again?
When the Rubik's Cube first came out I got one after knockoffs came out and the price dropped to much less than the original price. I remember trying to figure it out and making decent progress. I could put all the same color on a single face of the cube. Then I figured out how to put those face pieces so that they matched the adjacent sides, effectively completing one level or row of the cube. The middle row held the center pieces, which are fixed in place, leaving only four edge pieces to put in place to complete the second row, which would have two-thirds of the cube back in place.
Those four pieces were confoundingly hard to do though. I could get them in, but in so doing I'd mess up some of the top layer I'd already completed. I remember eventually figuring out, through trial and error, how to get those four pieces placed. I felt a good bit of pride at this as most of my friends (we all had a cube) hadn't figured out that much.
What we all did figure out how to do was to take the cube apart and put the pieces back in place that way. That was so common among my friends that when I saw a completed cube, I didn't even bother asking if they'd figured out how to solve it.
There was no Internet and no easy way to find out how to solve it back then. This year I decided to give in, after all these years, and learn how to solve the Rubik's Cube once and for all. I felt a bit better after reading on one site that 99.9% of people didn't figure out how to solve it without some help. That night my daughter wanted to know where her cube was, so she could take it to bed with her. I said it was on my nightstand and I was working on it and could I keep it until the morning? My daughter said that would be okay and I told her I would leave it on my nightstand and she could come and see if I had been successful the next morning.
And then I got to learning algorithms. It's not simple. In order to get those pesky second layer edge pieces in place you need to do eight rotations to get the upper layer out of the way, move the edge piece in place and then move the top level back. And there is more than one algorithm because the edge piece might be in one of two orientations. There are five more algorithms for the final layer to position and rotate various pieces while not disrupting what's already in place, some of which require more than eight rotations and may need to be repeated multiple times in several orientations.
To understand the rotation motions you need to first learn a notation scheme for the faces and directions of rotation as well as how to orientate the cube at different times. That was the most confusing. I knew what I was supposed to do only I would rotate one of the faces clockwise when it should have been anticlockwise and wouldn't know which step. I didn't figure this out until completing the sequence so I didn't know how to backtrack to fix it. So I had to reposition what had gotten out of place, which backed me up in the solving by sometimes a good bit.
I went and found, strangely all in the same place and the first place I looked, three additional Rubik's Cubes. But all three were bad. Bad in that they were hard to rotate. I ended up solving all three of them (which are now scrambled again, thanks to my son). By the time I was done with all three, my hands hurt from fighting against catching, sticking and unwilling to rotate cubes.
Back to my daughter's cube though. It's a joy to work with, movement-wise. I've solved it upwards of twenty times now. It's taken most of that time for me to memorize the algorithms and remember which series of steps goes with each situation. I've solved it only a few of those times without having to refer to my notes and have nearly solved the cube close to forty times because I've made a mistake many times and had to start back with only the first layer complete.
It's been fun though. I'm no speed solver on account of the steps I'm using aren't the same as the ones used competitively. There are faster ways, but it involves knowing how the pieces move around the cube and planning out more than one move ahead and multiple things at the same time. For now, just solving it without messing up is my current goal. Fortunately, I have two children eager to give me, "a good scramble" so I can keep practicing.
The Tiny Stocking Swap: Last night at our Hanukkah/Christmas dinner with our neighbors my children had a prank that was going to be played on them by my neighbor's children. They had gone to the Dollar store and other locations to fill stockings for our children. They had found HUGE stockings for them and packed them full of all kinds of things. But they also had a tiny stocking for each of them with only one ring pop in them. They were going to give that to them first and see what they said. When they handed them to my children they each pulled out their ring pop and didn't say anything. They didn't complain at all. I think my children were excited to see what Shane and Blake would be getting in their stockings. We all waited for my children to say something and aside from my son casually saying, without any disappointment in his voice, "this is a really small stocking", they were the picture of graciousness. Blake couldn't take possibly disappointing them so he brought out their stockings. Even my children couldn't believe how much was in them. Shane and Blake liked their stocking contents too. And we all loved the Matzo Ball Soup and Potato Latkes. My children asked when they were going to light the Menorah and when they started to sing, I swear, my daughter sounded like she knew the tune and tried to sing along with them. Everyone had a delightful night. We love our annual gathering with our neighbors.
Friday, December 27, 2019
Hanukkah & Stockings Dinner
Tonight we're going to our neighbor's house to celebrate Hanukkah and Christmas. Every year the adults make stockings for the other family's children and then my family enjoys a traditional dinner of potato latkes and matza ball soup. There are some things that are different this year surrounding the stockings which I'm interested to see how will play out.
Our neighbor's children are older now and the slime, trinkets and crazy things from the China site I order from are a little too young for our now much more mature sitter children. I have a small iTunes card for each of them, but that doesn't go far when it comes to filling stocking space. There is candy, of which I have a varied collection, including some odd things (my specialty) as well as Christmas themed. But I needed more.
Stephen, their father, laughed and suggested I put mini bottles of alcohol in their stockings—that they'd love that. When their son coincidentally suggested the same thing upon me mentioning my stocking stuffing quandary, it was an easy decision.
I went to the liquor store on the twenty-third of December, a foolish time to go as the parking lot was full and people were parking on the streets. There were three employees there just stocking the shelves, inventory was being depleted so quickly, and all the check out lanes were backed up to the back of the store.
So when I got to the front (after a surprisingly quickly moving line) I asked if he could pick out bottles for me. I figured that would be much quicker and he would have a good idea of what choices to make. Back home, I had plenty to fill both stockings to the top.
The thing I'm wondering about this year is will my son notice much of the candy and some of the trinkets in their stockings were also in his and his sisters. She wouldn't know because she can't see it, but this could be additional data and could finalize his belief that Santa isn't real.
We'll know in a few hours.
The Big Boy Update: My son has been resisting on the reading hour he has to do each day. Today, however, he jumped right in without much ado. Perhaps his book is getting interesting.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter told me this morning, "I need a bigger bowl to put all my candy in." This surprised me because she's been sneakily eating it around the clock. She wanted cake for breakfast as well. She loves sweets.
Our neighbor's children are older now and the slime, trinkets and crazy things from the China site I order from are a little too young for our now much more mature sitter children. I have a small iTunes card for each of them, but that doesn't go far when it comes to filling stocking space. There is candy, of which I have a varied collection, including some odd things (my specialty) as well as Christmas themed. But I needed more.
Stephen, their father, laughed and suggested I put mini bottles of alcohol in their stockings—that they'd love that. When their son coincidentally suggested the same thing upon me mentioning my stocking stuffing quandary, it was an easy decision.
I went to the liquor store on the twenty-third of December, a foolish time to go as the parking lot was full and people were parking on the streets. There were three employees there just stocking the shelves, inventory was being depleted so quickly, and all the check out lanes were backed up to the back of the store.
So when I got to the front (after a surprisingly quickly moving line) I asked if he could pick out bottles for me. I figured that would be much quicker and he would have a good idea of what choices to make. Back home, I had plenty to fill both stockings to the top.
The thing I'm wondering about this year is will my son notice much of the candy and some of the trinkets in their stockings were also in his and his sisters. She wouldn't know because she can't see it, but this could be additional data and could finalize his belief that Santa isn't real.
We'll know in a few hours.
The Big Boy Update: My son has been resisting on the reading hour he has to do each day. Today, however, he jumped right in without much ado. Perhaps his book is getting interesting.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter told me this morning, "I need a bigger bowl to put all my candy in." This surprised me because she's been sneakily eating it around the clock. She wanted cake for breakfast as well. She loves sweets.
Thursday, December 26, 2019
Whirlwind
It looks like my house had a whirlwind go through it. There are things everywhere. My husband and my brothers-in-law went to a movie this afternoon. We had some of the neighbor children come over to try out the trampoline and talk about what each other got for Christmas. They jumped for a while, came in to get some water as jumping is a tiring endeavor, and then, after jumping some more, they came inside to play with other things.
I started in on the large amount of cleaning it's going to take to get the house back in order. Perhaps cleaning isn't the correct word as what mostly needs to be done is rearranging, tidying and putting away. Some things, like all the reusable Amazon bags, are now back at my wrapping station in the craft room. Presents we received are being put in places other than under and around the tree. Some of the things have an obvious home, such as kitchen gadgets, while others don't have a spot yet, like new toys for the children.
And that poses a problem, because my motto (handed down to me by my mother) is, "a place for everything and everything in its place". I need to find homes for everything. There's a balance though. It doesn't make sense to put away all the gifts the children received because we want them out so they see them and want to use them. Or in the case of my daughter, she will know where her things are so she can find them.
Our visiting family members have all gone home. The house is just back to the four of us and the dog. And the happy carnage of Christmas.
The Big Boy Update: My son has to read an hour each day for school during the break. He had yesterday, since it was Christmas day, off. Today he's trying to read but he has too much energy. He's taken two breaks so far during which he went and jumped on the trampoline. And it helped. He was able to come back and refocus on reading without much fuss, something he mentally had a hard time doing in days past.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter has most likely already done her reading for the day. She's been reading in the morning, jumping on the trampoline during the day, listening to audiobooks when she's tired and then she falls asleep early. We have to wake her up for dinner and then she goes to sleep again only to wake up early the next morning.
I started in on the large amount of cleaning it's going to take to get the house back in order. Perhaps cleaning isn't the correct word as what mostly needs to be done is rearranging, tidying and putting away. Some things, like all the reusable Amazon bags, are now back at my wrapping station in the craft room. Presents we received are being put in places other than under and around the tree. Some of the things have an obvious home, such as kitchen gadgets, while others don't have a spot yet, like new toys for the children.
And that poses a problem, because my motto (handed down to me by my mother) is, "a place for everything and everything in its place". I need to find homes for everything. There's a balance though. It doesn't make sense to put away all the gifts the children received because we want them out so they see them and want to use them. Or in the case of my daughter, she will know where her things are so she can find them.
Our visiting family members have all gone home. The house is just back to the four of us and the dog. And the happy carnage of Christmas.
The Big Boy Update: My son has to read an hour each day for school during the break. He had yesterday, since it was Christmas day, off. Today he's trying to read but he has too much energy. He's taken two breaks so far during which he went and jumped on the trampoline. And it helped. He was able to come back and refocus on reading without much fuss, something he mentally had a hard time doing in days past.
The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter has most likely already done her reading for the day. She's been reading in the morning, jumping on the trampoline during the day, listening to audiobooks when she's tired and then she falls asleep early. We have to wake her up for dinner and then she goes to sleep again only to wake up early the next morning.
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