Anything We Want

Children learn from about three hours old how to work their parents.   Cry and I get attention.   Cry louder and I get attention more quickly.   Throw something and I get negative attention, but hey, it’s still attention.   Say something nice and I get what I want maybe even if I don’t deserve it because I just flattered you.  Children figure out so many ways to work an angle with us as feeble-minded, gullible adults that it’s interesting they can’t manage to do something as simple as putting their shoes away after school.

But that’s children for you.   Smart in all the ways that count.   Because truthfully if the shoes are in the middle of the hallway, there’s a good chance we’ll pick them up as parents while they’re out playing in the yard—and they know this.

Madison, my next-door-neighbor’s daughter was over two days ago.   She always asks if they can go into the craft room to do this or that or something fun for the children that means supervised work for me and usually a mess to clean up.   They know they’re not allowed in without an adult, and they always respect that, which means we’ve gotten at least one thing right.

I was already in the craft room with an older neighbor’s daughter, Keira, enacting a plan.   Keira had wanted some paper.   I have a lot of paper.   There are some papers the children can use and some they can’t.   I told Keira I had an idea: that I would put smiley face stickers on all the drawers and containers of things they could use without asking.   They still couldn’t enter the room without permission, but this would make things easier for me.   They would also help my daughter find what was available as well.

As I was adding stickers more children started to pile in.   It’s an interesting room with lots and lots of little things, interesting tiny-drawered bins and toy-like things.   I’m a collector and there is just a lot of things in the room that are fun for young children, hence the ban on entering without an adult.

The table tops are ideally cleaned off but I’d been piling up things since Christmas without successfully getting it all sorted and put away, mostly because I had to come up with new locations to store the additional stuff.   Add to that a lot of little fun trinkets and things from my obsession with shopping online from China and the table tops were too exciting to ignore.   Panda stickers, rainbow markers, tiny little notepads, monkey post-it notes, slime, a unicorn stapler and stocking things still unsorted.

I got the children busy with a painting project and then started going through everything.   All the painting stopped when they realized there was candy coming out of the bags.   There were lollipops too.   Keira asked if she could have one to which I asked if her mother would be okay with it.   I trust her and she said yes.   Then Madison wanted to know if she could have one too.   And then I was in trouble.

Madison’s father is our dentist and he isn’t so fond of lollipops, but I’d already told Keira and my daughter they could have one.   I told Madison to go ask her father if they could and if he said yes, it was fine with me.   She ran home and not a minute later came running back into the room with her younger brother, saying breathlessly, “my dad says we can have one”.

I trust Madison not to lie as well so I let them choose the flavor of their choice.   And then Madison said something I didn’t expect from a six-year-old.   She was very matter-of-fact as she explained how simple it was to get permission for the lollipop: “if we tell my dad we’ll be good for the rest of the day, he’ll give us anything we want.”

The next day Madison’s mother came over to borrow some things and I pulled her over, away from the children to tell her what Madison had said.   She said exasperatedly, “I know!  I’ve told him he’s got to stop doing that because they’re getting away with everything by promising to be good.”   We laughed and I told her to not tell that I’d given her daughter’s secret away.   I wonder what schemes my children have with my husband and me that we don’t even know they’re using on us?

The Big Boy Update:  My mother picked my son up from school a while back.   She had plans to take him to her house so they could play with her toys there and visit the neighbor’s playground, but he didn’t want to go.   He asked if they could go home instead.   As they were riding home my son asked in a concerned voice, “Mimi, are you disappointed that we didn’t go to your house?”  She assured him she wasn’t but it was so very nice of him to ask.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My son got into some old Wii video games in the attic over the weekend.   He was ecstatic he’d found them and happier still they could be played on the newer Wii U system.   The next morning my daughter was explaining it to another neighbor when they came over to play.   She said, “we have some new video games that dad used to play when he was little.”  I didn’t bother telling her they didn’t have video games yet when dad and I were, “little”.

The Longest Bath

It was bath night tonight.   We had an eczema problem with them when they were younger and their pediatrician recommended we don’t give them a bath every night, saying that children don’t have to have a bath, it would be okay and that we’re not negligent parents if we don’t clean them daily.   She said it was better for them even, provided they don’t get too dirty. 

We were lax this weekend so I think today was day three for baths which I can tell by the state of my daughter’s hair.   It looks nice if we work at it, but it really wants to turn into dreadlocks or something else that defies brushing and looks like the proverbial, “rats nest”.   I won’t go into the products and processes we do with my daughter hair to try and keep it manageable but suffice it to say, we haven’t found a combination yet that completely works with her fine, flyaway hair. 

This afternoon my daughter wanted to have a slime bath.   This is a powdered green product you put into the tub that turns the water into gooey slime—and she loves it.   Her brother wasn’t interested and said he’d take a quick shower later.   I got the slime powder and my daughter got into the tub.   And then she didn’t want to get out.  

She was in the tub maybe an hour-and-a-half, maybe more.   She had toys and was playing games with herself and when I would come in to check on her she would say, “go away” or, “leave me alone”.   So I did.  I got laundry folded, helped my neighbor with some things she came over to borrow and my son and I made a special drink he created that he plans on selling and making millions from.   (It was pretty tasty.)

Eventually my daughter drained the slime and ran clean water so she could wash her hair.   She got out and cleaned up all the toys and then, reluctantly, agreed to have her hair dried.  Only she wanted to do the drying herself.   

She held the dryer too close to her head so I turned the heat off and she mostly dried two spots, but by then she wasn’t opposed to me helping so we got the job finished fairly quickly.    By then her brother wanted to come and put makeup on them both—for some unknown reason he wouldn’t tell me.   We got out the makeup Nana gave my daughter and my son delicately made my daughter’s face pink, green and blue, asking me which colors were for the eyes and what applicator or brush he should use for each.   Then he wanted me to put some on him.   

My son also wanted to do something special with my daughter’s hair—something crazy he said—which I had to put a kibosh on as we had just gotten her hair brushable again.   So he brushed her hair and told her it looked beautiful in the back and she was very happy.  

It was a good day here.   The squabbling that typically happens was nonexistent, which was nice.   My children were gracious and kind to each other and had a happy day all around.   Maybe we need long baths more often. 

The Big Boy Update:  My son decided he was allergic to strawberries earlier this school year.   He’s not, but we let him avoid them for a while and then I reintroduced them when he’d forgotten.   This afternoon I came into the kitchen to find him with the child scissors and some strawberries.   He wanted to make a, “Double Strawberry” drink that included strawberry chunks.   I got out a cutting board and the children’s waffle cutter and showed him how he could finely chop a strawberry himself.   The drink he made was pretty good.   He poured little cups for us each to try and put an umbrella and mini straws in them to make the drink extra festive. 

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My children swish after brushing their teeth for a minute.   Typically they ask Alexa to start a timer for a minute or sixty seconds or sixty-five seconds or some other variant.   Sometimes they just count.   Today I was cleaning up while my daughter swished and I asked her when she was done if she was counting to sixty in her head.   And she surprised me.   She said, “I was following the clock ticks.   It’s easy, you just count them.”   I had forgotten the wall clock in the bathroom ticked.   But she hears everything.

Voiceover

This morning my daughter asked for two things.  First she wanted an app she was using at school.   I thought they used computers and not iPads, but sure enough there was the app on the app store so now she’s practicing writing her letters (print, not braille) in huge format across the entire screen of the iPad.

The second thing she asked was for me to turn Voiceover on on the iPad.   And this is interesting.   In the early portion of the school year we went to dinner with her VI teacher from the prior two years and her daughter came to watch our children while we went out to eat.  Lauren is also blind but with enough vision so she can function with assisted tools.

Lauren showed my daughter how Voiceover would help her on the iPad.   That was months ago and I never heard about it until this morning.   And get this, it’s right there in the settings of the iPad.  When you turn on Voiceover you get a warning that the gestures you use are going to be changed.   You have to go back to iPad interface school basically—because it’s that different.

Here’s how it works: everything you can touch on the iPad has a spoken version of what it is.   It might be a button that reads, “Enter Name” or a video titled, “Mickey’s Space Capade”.  It could be the name of the app on the app screen or even a key on the keyboard.  

Voiceover changes things because when you tap something you’re not actually tapping it.   You’re asking to have the iPad speak out what you just touched.   If you then want to type the letter ‘R’ you double tap.   So typing ‘R’ takes three taps instead of one.

We hadn’t completely figured this out before lunch and when we came back after lunch we couldn’t get her iPad unlocked.   We thought we were entering her code but we weren’t and we got locked out several times.   She decided when we finally got in that she didn’t want a lock code anymore.

She likes voiceover but it doesn’t work on all apps, so we’ve turned it on and off.   I think we’ll mess with it a bit more and if it works well for her she can ignore the few apps that don’t support it.   She’s got plenty of apps that do.  I told her I’d teach her how to get to the area of Settings where she could turn it on and off herself.   With her vision that will be very hard to do successfully for her, but she’s tenacious and won’t give up until she can do it.

The Big Boy Update:  My son got into the attic today and discovered several things.  First he found a secret passage from the attic to the storage room behind their closet.   They were throwing a balloon down or something I think and figured out where it went.   The second thing was he opened a box and found old Wii games.    He ran down excited, saying he didn’t know we had these cool games.   I thought he’d found something my husband had bought early and hid from my son until there was a reason for him to get it as a reward for stamps or something.    I yelled down the stairs to my husband we had a problem but he couldn’t come up for a few minutes.   By then my son had found five “new” games and was positively ecstatic.   He’s been banned from the attic for now, but we did let him put up the old Wii games on the Wii U to see how they play.  

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  There was a party at our neighbor’s house a few days ago.   My daughter didn’t really go to the party, although she was invited to join the children on the bouncy house.   I told her a few hours later that everyone was leaving.   She got her shoes on and went out the door.   When I asked her where she was going she said, “I want to say goodbye to the party.”

Model 3

We have friends that got their Tesla Model 3 yesterday.   It’s been a long wait for them and will be an even longer one people who placed their reservation later.    I remember the day Ben reserved his car: it was the day of the Tesla Model 3 reveal.

The reveal wasn’t until that night, Pacific time, but Ben—sight unseen—got in line first thing in the morning to put his money down and wait in line until, well, he didn’t even know when he might be getting his car.

First thing in the morning and he was something like the hundredth person in line at our sales center alone.   This was happening all around the world.  By the end of the weekend there were hundreds of thousands of reservations.

This evening was a confusion of cars, visitors, a meeting and children without parents which so far means I haven’t had a chance to go for a ride in their car.   Maybe if I can get the children to sleep I can go after the movie is over.

The Big Boy Update:  My son loves some things sweet and other things not.   He’s not so into cupcake icing for example.   There was a cupcake in a paper bag in his lunch box when he got home today.   I held it up and asked him where he got it.  He glanced over at the bag and said, “oh, you can throw that out.”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter went to dinner with my mother and father’s sister, our Aunt Martha, tonight.   She came home with them and promptly climbed the tree in the front yard.    Both my mother and Aunt Martha said she reminded them of me when I was young (I spent a lot of time in trees).   As my daughter was climbing back down we asked her if she was being careful when she couldn’t get a foothold for the lower branch.   She replied very matter-of-factly, “not really”.

The Stamp Expansion

I’ve mentioned multiple times about the stamp system we have at our house.   The children are rewarded stamps for expected behavior we’re working on being routine for them as well as for things unexpected they did showing kindness or extra work.   This has been going well, with a few instances of stamps being removed for poor behavior.   My son and daughter are saving up lots of stamps for big items which will take them a while longer to achieve.

The other day my children decided my husband and I should have a stamp chart too.   We thought about it and it seemed like a very good idea.   Only the children could give us stamps and only the children could take our stamps away.   They got to choose what was stamp-worthy.   They had all the power and if they didn’t like what we did or said, they could take away stamps too.

So far it’s been working out nicely.   I’ve been surprised when and for what they decide to give us stamps.   They have been generous and kind and it’s made them happy.   This morning my son was mad though and he took a stamp away from both of us.   The act itself gave him a lot of satisfaction.

They want to know what we’re going to buy when we get three hundred stamps.   I told my children I hadn’t decided yet.

The Big Boy Update:   My son was thinking about Halloween in the car on the way to school yesterday morning.  He said to me, “this year maybe we could turn my Stay Puft Marshmallow Man costume into a s’mores costume.”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter’s music lesson is now longer and she doesn’t have to go before or after her brother as he’s taking a break.   She could have gone on longer than the full hour today I’m fairly certain, she was having so much fun.

Interviews

I’m on the search committee to find a new head of school for the Montessori school my son goes to.   I can’t say enough positive things about the work that our board chairs have done to get us to this point.   They have done extensive research on the what the search should entail.   They interviewed and selected a consulting firm to help us manage the entire process, which has proven to be invaluable.

Many things have happened since that time resulting in six semi-finalist candidates which we interviewed today via Skype.   When looking for a location to host the long session (3:00pm until 10:00pm today) we ended up having the interviews here at our house as opposed to renting a location.   My husband and I rearranged our basement and set up the room with tables and chairs so that the nine search committee members could face our television such that the candidate would be able to see us all during the call.

Food and beverages were prepared, dinner was ordered for later and the committee arrived.   Then we spend what seemed like no time at all in a forty-five minute interview session with each candidate, prepping for the following candidate in-between.  

At the end of the night we discussed our thoughts and will meet again on Friday to determine our finalists, which we will bring to the school (some candidates are from out of state).   The finalists will meet the staff, teachers and have an open forum with our families for questions and so that we and the  candidate can get to know each other.  

After that the committee will make a decision and recommendation to the board of trustees on which candidate to vote on for the head of school position.   This will take place by the end of the school year.    We have some excellent candidates, I think the school will have both capable and well-received leadership going forward as our current and much beloved head of school prepares for retirement.

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Quiet Update:   My children went to dinner with Mimi and my father’s sister, Aunt Martha, who came to visit today.   They were on their best behavior at dinner and when they got home, with the search committee interviews happening in the basement, dad asked them to be very quiet.    I didn’t even hear them they were so silent.   They got bonus stamps for good behavior all evening.

Done Time

I’m done.  With everything.   Or at least everything on my short-term get it done list.  It doesn’t happen often but when it does it feels nice.   All the emails have been answered.   All the paperwork has been done.   Anything that needs to be written or paid or mailed has been completed.  The pile of “to do” things I have in the hub spot that’s mine in the kitchen is completely empty.   The laundry has been folded and put away.   The dish washer is empty and the kitchen is clean.   It’s a great feeling, but it doesn’t last for long.

Emails never stay gone for long—people tend to reply back to you.  Dishes and laundry are only done for a matter of hours and more things just pile up.   We’re hosting an event at our house tomorrow and on Thursday I’m giving two presentations I’ve been finalizing for a week.   And by that time I’m sure I’ll be behind on all the other stuff I just got caught up on.

The Big Boy Update:  In the car today we passed a church that had a word in it that was similarly spelled to my son’s name.   He’s reading everything lately and this sparked a conversation about the different kinds of churches and beliefs and what his friends in school believed in.   Then he asked me, “is there a church for people who believe in The Big Bang?”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  We go to my daughter’s school tomorrow for, “student-led conferences”.   We’re not entirely sure what this will entail (although it seems perfectly clear to my daughter) but we’ll find out in the morning.