Girls Day / Boys Day

We split up today into groups of girls and boys.   This was mostly due to the fact that my husband, father-in-law and son wanted to go to Lego Land.  (Guess what, Mom. there’s there’s one in Florida after all.)  

My daughter isn’t interested in Legos nearly as much as my son and she has the whole visual impairment thing going on so my mother-in-law and I kept her back with us and planned a “girls day” just for her.  

She stayed at home and helped my mother-in-law feed the squirrels, birds and other animals in their back yard.   She helped to water the plants and refill the peanut container.     Mid-morning we went to one of the local outdoor malls and she rode on the carousel and then the small train that goes through the center area of the mall.

Then she went into the indoor playground area that’s about everything that’s fun for a four-year-old.   My mother-in-law watched her and I did some shopping.   After she had had enough we went to Cheesecake factory and she ate a mound of bread and butter and pasta.     Then, we went to Candy Land.

Candy Land is a store named, “Sugar” that is basically a candy land.   She picked out candy for both her and her brother and then we went home to spend the rest of the afternoon in the pool.   She is now resting on the hammock after over two hours of special pool time and attention from Nana.

I think she had a special day.   I hope she did.   She’s a tough one when it comes to special, what with all the challenges she has in her life right now.   Fortunately, she is also the easiest to please.   She is truly a sweet little girl.

The Big Boy Update:  My son was at Lego Land today.   He was shy about exchanging Lego characters (something you can do with the staff at the park).   Before he left he got into the into the swing of the swaps and traded for some good characters.   He’s tired out from a long day and is glad to be in the car.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  We had a girls day today and went to one of our favorite malls for some activities and lunch.   As we walked by one of the fountains my daughter stopped and looked at the water.    We asked her if she could see the water to which she said, “that’s not water…that’s token water!”   She could see the coins in the bottom of the twelve inches of water.    We gave her some more coins to add to the collection.

Science Museum

We went to a local science museum today with some friends of ours who are staying in the area.   They have three children, the youngest of which is three years older than my son.   We knew it would be a fun day, but how fun would it be for my daughter was our big question?

It was a hand-on museum, but most of what you interact with still needs to be seen to understood.   Also, she’s only four-years-old.  We started out approaching the dinosaur exhibit.   My daughter wanted to enter at the railing and black screen area instead of the entrance, which she couldn’t see up ahead.   She could hear the exhibit though, which was precisely through that black curtain area she was standing in front of.   Score one for the ears.

She was able to see the large dinosaurs and got a sense that there was movement, but because she couldn’t see as well as hear, the motors and recorded noises weren’t fun to her and she wanted to move on.    There was an area to do crayon rubbings of dinosaur parts that she tried out and had fun working on, but since she couldn’t discern what she’d rubbed out with the crayons because it wasn’t high-contrast, she lost interest fairly quickly.

My husband spent some time with her in the sea life area where there were large sea animals in multiple aquariums, but again, that’s all visual-based and she wan’t that interested.   He brought her over and told me she kept saying she wanted “to do something”.   I told him I’d have a go with her.

We found the largest light bright board I’d ever seen and because it was colors on black, she had a very good time working on that.    I thought the water area would be interesting as it was about making paths for water by inserting plastic sheets in areas to stop or add water flow.   Unfortunately, she couldn’t see the small insertion points for the parts and couldn’t interact or see the water flow because it was clear.

We found a balance table on which she and a friend placed wooden blocks for a while that she enjoyed.   She stood up and went over to a teenage boy and grabbed his hand, not knowing it wasn’t me.   I gave him the “just a sec” look and rescued her.   He never said a word and I don’t think she knew.

She had an okay day, but ultimately, it wasn’t a “good” vision day for her.   Some days are just like that.    This afternoon at the pool with our friends she had a much better time.

The Big Boy Update: My niece asked my son, “do you want to go to prom with Madison?”   He replied, “no, but I want to go to Tae Kwon Do and have her come with me…oh, okay. I’ll go to prom with her.”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter had an okay time at the science museum today.   One of the things she liked the best was the plastic pin wall.   It’s a large surface of adjacent plastic pins.   You can press your hand or face into the pins and they push out towards the other side.   On the other side were other children pushing the pins back.   She spent a lot of time pushing and watching.

When I Was…

The Big Boy Tiny Girl Age Comparison Conversations:
My children have an understanding of numbers in certain ways.    Tonight on the way home from dinner my daughter had a long conversation where she explained to her cousin, Nicole, the following:

When I was one-years-old, Greyson was two-years-old.  When I was two-years-old, Greyson was three-years old.   When I was three-years-old, Greyson was four-years-old. When I was five-years-old, wait, did I miss one?    <starts over>

My son waited very patiently until his sister was done and then asked if he could tell Coco a story now.    Here was his story:

When I was zero-years-old, Reese wasn’t even born yet.  When I was one-years-old, Reese was zero-years old.   When I was two-years-old, Reese was one-years-old. When I was three-years-old, Reese was two-years-old,

He went on for some time, going into the future.   What was interesting was when they got into future ages such as seven and eight, they would change to future tense instead of past tense.

If I Were Eighteen

We had a great day today; we spent time in the hot tub as well as the cool pool in Florida at my in-laws;    Our friends from North Carolina were visiting and we had a delightful day spending time with their children and their family.   Suffice it to say it was a great day with both friends and family.

Tonight I have to say I have an issue with my nephew.   He was playing great music—he always plays great music.   He’s one of those people who can pull a playlist out of nowhere that perfectly matches with the mood of the evening.   Tonight he was doing just that—only he was skipping to the next song before the current song was over.   

I finally told him I would be all over him (as in girlfriend) if I was only eighteen years old.   I didn’t think much about it until later when he told me he’d heard back from his girlfriend, Madison, who had said I’d have to fight it out over him if I was serious,  

Since my son has serious intentions on Madison, I didn’t want to mess anything up and did some immediate concessions on my part.    

The Big Boy Update: “Last one in is a rotten Nina”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles: My daughter can own a shadow.   She knows what is shadow and what’s people.   She has made good friends with shadows lately.  

Don’t Look Down

My daughter has done a more than commendable job in not looking down since December 19th.   At that point a heavy substance was added into the back of her eye which would, in hope, massage the retina down and help it reattach.   As she lay back, the fluid would roll back onto the retinal folds and help them lie flat.    The only trick was keeping the substance in the posterior portion of her eye.

I think I must have said, “don’t look down” or “look up” or “you have to lie on your back” or other related comments a hundred times since December 19th.   My has almost always been understanding and has compiled every time, even if she didn’t want to.

For the first two-and-a-half months we were a little over-worried about it.   We learned later that there was a low chance of migration as there was only a small hole in the top back of her lens capsule.   The doctor said good work on the laying flat and positional restraint my daughter had shown.   He then opened up the majority of the back of her lens capsule and added a new, large hole in the front half of the capsule.   Now, there was a full path the heavy substance could migrate from the back to the front—and we really don’t wan that.

But there was some tempering comments from her surgeon, firstly about some perimeter cellular growth around the lens capsule of lens cells that is complicated and I don’t fully understand but it boils down to a ridge that helps as a barrier.    The second thing he said was the heavy fluid moves slowly, so it’s not going to rush around immediately.   Also, he said the amount was very small and there weren’t problems short-term if it did migrate out.  

So more time with positional restrictions.   More things my daughter has to do and not do that other children don’t have to do.    I had told her Dr. Trese was probably going to take the heavy substance out of her eye (he had said as much) and then she could do as many flips and headstands as she wanted.    It turned out he didn’t.

One of the saddest points recently with my daughter’s eyes was on the ride home from her surgery, she is sick from some virus that incidentally hit at the same time, vomiting in the car.   We hadn’t told her yet he didn’t remove the PFO and that it would be at least two more months until he did.    She quietly asked at one point, “mom, can I look down now?”   I tried not to cry as I told her not yet.   She took it very well.

Tonight, weeks later, we’re walking in Florida in the evening weather.   My daughter’s holding two of our hands and is jumping up between the two adults doing that walk/gliding thing children love to do.   My niece asked if she wanted to flip over (something she can easily do) and I was touched to hear my daughter say she couldn’t because of her eye surgery.    I swooped in and told her if she flipped fast, it would be okay and did she want to try?   She said she did and we had fun doing flips for the remainder of the walk.

The Big Boy Update:   My son was wanting some candy or other high-value food this morning.   When asked if he wanted to finish his muffin he replied, “no, I don’t prefer it.”    How polite.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  Just before bed my husband and I were talking.   My daughter came in and asked if she could have her iPad, to which we said yes.   She then told us, “I’m going to play on my iPad in my bed…so I don’t interrupt you…since you’re talking.”

Fitness Update:   I walked five miles today, four in flip flops, around the neighborhood here at my in-law’s house.   The calories I burned in no way were enough to offset the amount of chocolate, food and dessert I ate for Easter Sunday however.

Girlfriend

The Big Boy Girlfriend Update:  
I knew it was going to happen someday, I just wasn’t prepared for it to be so soon, when my son was so young.  He has a girlfriend.   I suppose I’d better back up and explain how it all began…

Three hours ago we were happily enjoying time in my in-law’s backyard pool.   My brother- and sister-in-law were here with their high school aged niece and nephew.   Partway through the afternoon we were joined by my nephew’s girlfriend, Madison.   She introduced herself and then got right into the pool to balance out our water volleyball game.   We had a good time swimming, sliding down the inflatable slide and eating snow cones from my mother-in-law’s new machine.   Everything was going well.

It was at that point that I went inside to clean up and help my daughter.    A short while later I came back to find everyone inside and my son, bursting to tell me something.   Madison, he told me, was his girlfriend.   He was basically claiming her by standing and sitting on her.   There was a lot of laughing from the teenagers and for some inexplicable reason my eighteen-year-old nephew wasn’t threatened at all by this new potential suitor.

My son spent the rest of the afternoon over with the teenagers, being very friendly, sometimes too friendly.   He was sitting by Madison at one point and poked her breast asking, “why is that there?”     I don’t think he got an answer because we all were laughing so much at the question.  Madison was very gracious and resigned herself to having two boyfriends for the day.

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:   My daughter is clearly visually impaired, but sometimes it’s hard to tell what she can and can’t see.   Just now I put a bandage on her finger and she couldn’t see the high-contrast smiley face on the bandage.   But yesterday at the airport she was able to see something I didn’t expect.   I was doing the parental, “hurry up, walk quickly, follow me, we have to go” type of comments as my daughter was trailing behind me by about ten feet.    She said, “I’m coming, don’t look at me!” likely in response to my constant looking back to see if she was still moving along.    Then it got interesting because every time I’d turn my body around as I walked to check on her she’d crankily yell out, “don’t look!”   She saw me turn around every time.   So I tried by just turning my head and she could tell that as well.    So she’s seeing something.

I’m Feeling Shy

Several of us, including my daughter’s teachers have noticed a particular, “shy” behavior she exhibits at times.   It seems to present itself when she realizes there is something she can’t tell/doesn’t know that she would be able to know if her vision wasn’t impaired.   She finds herself in a situation where she has to ask for help from someone who can see normally.   And asking for help is hard.

Especially when you’re an independent young lady who doesn’t want mommy or daddy to do anything to help in any way.   But my daughter does and will need help.    Today, we arrived at my in-law’s house.   After saying our hello’s the children went off to play with the toys.   My son found some Legos immediately and was busy.   My daughter found some stuffed animals.  

A short while later my daughter was upset—she was complaining to me that there weren’t any toys and all she could find were the stuffed animals.   I told her Nana had lots of toys for her and did she want to go ask Nana to help her find them?    I had explained there were toys she hadn’t seen.   It was at this point that the shyness comes in.   My daughter came very close to me and whispered, “I’m feeling a little shy, could you ask Nana where the other toys are?”   She realized she couldn’t see the toys in the room and this lack of ability and need for help translated into her feeling shy.

We walked into the kitchen, found Nana and I asked about the toys.   Nana came right over to my daughter and they got some puzzles for her to do and my daughter was back to being happy once again.

The Big Boy Update:  On the way to school today my son said, “when I grow up I’m going to do everything in the world.”

The Tiny Girl Chronicles:  My daughter said after hearing what her brother wanted to do in his life, “when I grow up I’m going to be the tooth fairy.”