The Gaddy Rationalization

We are rationalizing beings.  We can be rational, but what we do even better is rationalize.  Have you ever talked yourself into something over time that, in retrospect, was completely unreasonable?

I remember being in Cotillion as a young girl.  We were taught manners and ballroom dancing.  We were mortified with the whole prospect of touching a member of the opposite sex at the beginning, but we had to do it, and we had to be polite, without fail, no matter how distasteful we found the person to be.

At the end of each year we went to the Cotillion Ball.  We got formal invitations, wore fancy dresses and even had dance cards.  After making it through the first year, some of my friends and I decided we liked ballroom dancing.  We came back and did multiple years more.  We learned fancier dance steps and the male partners became more likeable as we matured.

The elegant lady who taught the classes was Mrs. Gaddy.  She was always poised, had great advice and was someone I looked up to and respected.  She was the owner and master coordinator of the whole program.

After we had aged out, we were still good friends with Mrs. Gaddy.  Sometimes she would need extra boys or girls at the balls to balance out the dance cards.  We loved to go as alumni. 

One year, my boyfriend was asked, but I wasn't.  He and my friends and I talked it over.  Eventually we talked ourselves into a lost invitation in the mail and were even confident i was invited.

When I arrived the first clue should have been no dance card and no flower waiting for me at the table.  I was getting concerned.  When I fully realized that I had talked myself into something that made no sense, I tried to leave, but the proctors wouldn't let me go sit in a car.  I went and cried in the bathroom.

Eventually, the word got out and one of the proctors came in and said, "I don't think Mrs. Gaddy would want you to be in here crying the whole time.  Why don't you come out and sit with us."  Mr. Gaddy, a well-known news caster, came and asked me for a dance.  I was embarrassed and felt foolish but I did dance with him.  I remember he smelled like cologne, something the boys were too young to wear. 

Later I spoke to Mrs. Gaddy and apologized, explaining how our logic had been poor and our thoughts unreasoned and I had no one but myself to blame and I felt foolish because she had been so kind to teach me manners.   She was gracious and kind and I still remember her fondly to this day.

It's interesting how we can talk ourselves into anything if we want it badly enough.